10/15/2026
10.15.2026
Meade County South Dakota
💜 October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and I need people to understand something. You do not have to wait until someone hits you to admit that you’re being hurt.
Being followed from room to room when you’ve asked for space. Being screamed at, humiliated or threatened. Having someone control your money or where you go 24/7. Being pressured for s*x until giving in feels easier than continuing to say no. That’s coercion and manipulation.
Those things deserve to be taken seriously, too.
And can we please stop making “Why didn’t she leave?” our first damn question? That question always confuses me because if we all learned a little bit more about abuse and trauma, we would know the answer to that. So instead,
Ask what happened when she tried to leave.
Ask whether she had access to money or if she was pressured into being a stay at home mom.
Ask who she could safely call or if she had been isolated from family and friends.
Ask what he threatened to do or what he was doing in the background.
Ask about the kids that mattered more than her own self.
Leaving can mean figuring out housing, childcare, transportation and safety while someone is actively making you afraid and stressed to take the next step. This can trigger fight or flight. OR the fawn response.
She can love him and still be afraid of him. She can defend him and still need help. She can go back and still deserve support. Her response to his behavior is not the one that needs to be questioned
You don’t have to understand every decision someone makes to care whether they’re safe. And being a survivor doesn’t require being a perfect person. Having an attitude occasionally, raising your voice first or last or making mistakes does not give someone permission to abuse you.
If someone trusts you enough to tell you what’s happening, listen. Ask what they need. Offer something concrete—a ride, a place to keep important documents, company while they make a phone call. Not just “I’m here for you”. Also, Please don’t turn their pain into gossip. Their safety and hell is not your place of entertainment. Roles can always be reversed so decide how you’re going to make a difference that has a positive impact.
To the person reading this and quietly recognizing their own life: you don’t have to explain everything publicly for it to count. You don’t even have to talk about everything. You deserve to be heard and helped, even if you’re still figuring out what comes next.
You deserve a home where you can breathe without listening for someone’s footsteps. 💜
