19/09/2026
This is so sad and heartbreaking. As a woman with adhd , spent years dignoses cronic depression, cronic anxiety, cronic stress , tried different antidepressants along with any talking therapies after i experienced a breakdown where “i didn’t want to be here anymore” , I yes yes to all to show I was very willing to take any help offered , as the older I got the worse my symptoms became and impacted my life in so many ways, but I had and still do have a lot of support from friends and family and partners to manage day to day tasks which came with alot of shame, as I couldn’t understand why I was the way I was for a woman in 20s and the expectation that came with being a “functioning adult “ and by time I was 30 I finally asked my gp if I could be refered for adhd assessment, which my gp made the referal with no question as he could see me and my symptoms and how they had impacted me for many years and before that into childhood which back then the symptoms weren’t recognised especially as a girl with inattentive adhd and already diagnosed dyslexic and irlings syndrome . I can honestly say once I got the dignigonis ( which was the first test I ever passed with flying colours haha ) I cried in my car alone for a while , all the years of shame , and labels I internalised “lazy, forgetful , chaotic , inconsistent , very emotional, and just to try harder “ where not my labels to carry and a projection of what people could observe from a neurotypical lense as if it was a choice .
From this got the right medication the depression and anxiety reduced and minises rapidly . Which then I could pursue future knowledge to understanding adhd / neurodiversity. Also with the support from my job at the time working for barnardos , my manager and team where amazing, introduced me to helpful tools , disability passport , reasonable accommodations , flexible work schedule to allow me to attend appointments, time to attend therapy.
And did a lot of continued work on myself and making positive grounded changes in my life that where nessary for me to start to evolve into the person I am now.
Learn to articulate myself and my needs. Express my struggles without shame or fear so I could access the right support . And here I am now .
I am a Neurodivercity champion in my workplace .
Along with in my personal life and pageant community project Beyond the Sash uk- neurodiversity and disability support in pageantry. I help people to access support / signpost to services and resources to help with neurodiversity and disability.
With a supportive workplace , colleagues, and supportive pageant director Tina De-Bear Danni De-Bear . And the long term support from friend and family I am able to not just survive but thrive .
If it wasn’t for all who did this journey
with me , I wouldn’t be here .
Is adhd and my other conditions ( cognitive and physical) hard to live with … yes .
Do I find that as I’m getting older dispite the meds and coping mechanism arnt working as well yes … but that’s where hormones come into affect and all the new information and studies in how adhd can effect woman and especially with hormone changes and peri menopause , as estrogen supports dopamine function , and if a person is already struggling with that , I and others can now see what the result can be without the early enough, knowledge and correct support .
Case like this woman are so sad because if she had received the exploration of her struggles and the right support she may have still been here . When I hear the frases “adhd is over dignoses “ it is attually deeply harmful and damaging.
When the telescope was invented … where we inninated with an “over diagnosis of planets and stars “
No we mearly had the tools to be able to see them all .
And not to just let another person become a statistic , in another life taken .
For me depression and anxiety were symptoms of unmanaged ADHD .
My thoughts are with her loved ones .
Absolutely devastating 💔
