29/10/2026
🚩 COERCIVE CONTROL: IS IT REALLY LOVE? TEENAGERS ❤️
20,000 WhatsApp messages in just four weeks! That is more than 700 messages a day.
A report shared details of a couple’s alleged toxic relationship, in which a young man reportedly bombarded his girlfriend with more than 20,000 WhatsApp messages over a four-week period.
The messages, sent from early morning until late at night, reportedly included thousands of declarations of love. But alongside those declarations were demands, questions and accusations that allegedly reflected jealousy and controlling behaviour.
When does love stop being love and become control?
Extreme jealousy and possessiveness are not signs of everlasting love. They may be warning signs of COERCIVE CONTROL — a pattern of behaviour used to dominate, intimidate or control another person.
This can happen in person or through digital platforms, including WhatsApp and social media.
🚩 WATCH OUT FOR THESE WARNING SIGNS:
- Constantly bombarding someone with messages and demanding immediate replies.
- Demanding passwords or access to private messages and social media accounts.
- Monitoring a partner’s movements, online activity or whereabouts.
- Dictating who a partner may speak to or spend time with.
- Becoming angry or suspicious over ordinary interactions with other people.
- Using accusations, guilt, threats or emotional pressure to get one’s own way.
- Making a partner feel guilty for wanting privacy, independence or time alone.
Does this sound like EVERLASTING LOVE at the age of 18?
❤️ HOW HEALTHY IS YOUR TEENAGER’S LOVE LIFE?
As parents, grandparents and caregivers, we need to ask ourselves some important questions:
🔹 Does your teenager understand that young love can come and go? Relationships are part of growing up and learning about life. Not every relationship is meant to last forever.
🔹 Does your teenager still have personal time and space? A healthy relationship allows both partners to maintain friendships, interests, family connections and their own identity.
🔹 Can your teenager recognise the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour? Love should never require someone to surrender their privacy, freedom, dignity or sense of self.
🔹 Does your teenager feel safe saying NO? Nobody should have to live in fear of their partner’s anger, jealousy or reaction to a disagreement.
👨👩👧👦 LET US TAKE OUR TEENAGERS’ LOVE LIVES SERIOUSLY!
Young people are still developing emotionally and learning to navigate relationships. An unhealthy relationship can place enormous pressure on them, affecting their self-esteem, friendships, education and emotional well-being.
Sometimes, they make life-changing decisions or abandon their own dreams simply to fit into their girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s lifestyle.
▪︎ not going to university or college as the girlfriend is not going ▪︎ have to study or work in same town as partner ▪︎ cancell other appointments to improve themselves as partner is not taking part.
We need to talk openly with our teenagers about love, respect, boundaries, trust and personal independence.
Teach them that they are responsible for their own lives and have the right to make their own choices.
❤️ Love is not ownership.
❤️ Love is not constant surveillance.
❤️ Love is not fear, pressure or manipulation.
❤️ Love allows both people to grow.
A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP SHOULD ADD TO YOUR LIFE, NOT TAKE CONTROL OF IT.
Let us listen to our teenagers without judging them. Let us help them recognise the warning signs, ask for help when they need it, and understand that leaving an unhealthy relationship is not a failure.
OUR TEENAGERS ARE OUR FUTURE. LET US EDUCATE THEM, EMPOWER THEM AND KEEP THEM SAFE!
