Young Widows or Widowers - YWOW

09/02/2026

These words spoke to me, they were not my words. I’m certain most widow or widowers can relate in many ways.
A bit affirming!

Once a widow or widower, always a widow or widower.
This is not a plea for sympathy or a post filled with anger.
This post is real and honest.

Unless you have watched your spouse die. Unless you have buried or cremated your spouse.
Sit down and don’t judge us.
Never tell a widow or widower how we should be living our lives.
Never tell a widow or widower how we should be acting.
And for the love of God, never tell a widow or widower when they should try to find love again.
We should not be vilified for trying to pick up whatever pieces of our lives are left.
We should not be vilified for trying to find companionship again.
We should never hear that someone has judged us behind our backs for the choices that we are making.
In fact, never tell a widow or widower when or how to find anything again.
We are lost and searching for whatever pieces are left.
And there are those of you out there who want to pass judgement.
Do you have any clue how much courage it takes just to step outside some days?
Do you have any idea what it’s like to come home to a empty house every day?
A house that was once full of conversation
Full of laughter
Full of love.
After watching the person you committed your life to die.
After watching their body go limp as they struggled to take their last breath.
As you see their body lying covered by a sheet.
You don’t know.
Do you have any idea how this experience messes with your mind? With your heart and your soul?
You don’t know.
You are not allowed to judge.
You are not allowed to pass judgement as you drive home to your spouse or significant other.
You are not allowed to pass judgement as you sit down across from your spouse or significant other for dinner.
You are not allowed to pass judgement as you cuddle next to your spouse or significant other.
For us, those experiences are gone, and not by our choice.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PASS JUDGEMENT.
Stop telling us that you know what hell we are going through.
You do not.
Your life wasn’t ripped out from under you in an instant.
Your future wasn’t stolen from you.
Your life, as you know it, was not destroyed.
This was not a breakup. Stop comparing.
This was not a divorce. Stop comparing.
This was not the loss of Grandpa or Uncle Jim. Stop comparing.
This was not the loss of your damn dog or cat. Stop comparing.
This was the loss of our love.
Our soul mate.
Our life.
Our future.
For those of us who have lost our spouse
This is the most frightening time of our life.
And if you are a widow or widower passing that judgment on another
Stop it.
What was right for you may not be right for another.
The next time you see a widow or widower trying to pick up whatever pieces are left of their life and move forward
You really only have two choices.
You can sit down and keep your mouth shut
Or
You can give them a pat on the back or words of encouragement
For their courage and bravery.
These are your only two options
Because YOU DON’T KNOW.

08/21/2026

Losing a spouse isn't just losing a person.

It is losing the life you knew.

Everything changes. And often, it changes in ways you never saw coming.

The way you eat. The way you spend an evening. The people you see. The holidays. The routines. The plans you assumed would happen someday.

Your friendships may change. Your relationship with family may change. Your financial situation may change. Your role in the world may change.

Even your relationship with yourself changes.

You may feel less confident. Less secure. Less certain of who you are or where you belong. Things that once seemed effortless can suddenly require thought. Your sense of humor may change. Your interests may change. Even your body can feel different because grief doesn't live only in your heart. It lives in your whole being.

And then there is the part no one really prepares you for:

You are expected to build a life around an absence you never chose.

This isn't simply learning to live without someone.

It is learning to live in a world that no longer looks anything like the one you shared.

And that is why widowhood is so much more than grief.

It is the remaking of a life.

A life you didn't ask for.

A life you may not have wanted.

And somehow, little by little, you have to figure out how to live it.

07/21/2026

Young Widows or Widowers, YWOW is a community of people who have lost their spouse, partner, or significant other, too early. We have members with ages ranging from the 20s through the 80s. YWOW is free to join.

We serve Virginia through several Private Facebook groups arranged geographically.

To join: Click on the appropriate group below, then click Join Group, and answer the application questions.

Richmond Chapter:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/YWOWRichmond
(serves the cities and counties surrounding Richmond Virginia)

Eastern Chapter:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/YWOWEastern
(serves the southeastern area of Virginia including Norfolk, Portsmouth, Virginia Beach, Chesapeake and Suffolk)

Northern Piedmont Chapter:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/YWOWNorthernPiedmont
(serves the counties that are part of the Northern Piedmont of Virginia: Albemarle, Culpeper, Fauquier, Greene, Madison, Orange. Also includes the cities of Charlottesville, Manassas and Fredericksburg)

Peninsula Chapter:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/YWOWPeninsula
(serves the cities and counties surrounding the Virginia peninsula including Hampton, Newport News, Poquoson, Williamsburg, along with James City and York Counties)

06/28/2026

06/19/2026

A member posted this and it is so relevant, I had to share!

05/19/2026

This might sound kind of weird…

But I miss having someone who worried about me.

Someone who checked if I got to work okay. Someone who reminded me to eat. Someone who noticed when I sounded tired or stressed before I even said anything was wrong.

Sometimes grief is realizing it’s not just the big events like anniversaries, vacations, and other special occasions. What we miss the most are actually the small things.

Like the “Text me when you get there.” The extra blanket they put over us when we fell asleep on the sofa. The way they reminded us to take our medication, drive carefully, or not stay up too late.

Here’s the thing…it’s the little ways they watched over us every single day.

There’s something so comforting about knowing someone was thinking about us even when we weren’t in the room. Knowing someone cared whether we made it home safely. Whether we ate dinner. Whether we seemed okay emotionally.

Those things can feel so ordinary while we’re living them, but after loss, we realize they were never ordinary at all.

They were love.

And after they’re gone, the world can feel colder. Not because other people don’t care, but because there are certain kinds of love that become woven into our everyday sense of safety. The person who naturally checked on us and remembered our routines. The one who worried when we were quiet too long.

And losing that can create a loneliness that’s difficult to explain.

I think so many of us miss being cared for in those small ways more than we admit out loud. Because sometimes grief isn’t only missing the person. Sometimes it’s missing the feeling of knowing someone was always looking out for us. Someone who carried our well-being in their heart without ever having to ask them to.

And maybe that’s why certain moments hit so hard after loss.

Like walking into an empty house after a long day. Not having anyone ask how your appointment went. Realizing nobody is waiting up for you anymore. Those moments can feel so lonely because they remind us that love often sounded like concern, attention, and everyday care.

And I think most of us only understand that…after the person who loved us is gone.

Gary Sturgis
Author: ‘SURVIVING GRIEF – 365 Days A Year’

02/10/2026

If you are widowed, please join our private Facebook groups for widowed people living anywhere in Virginia, and share this invitation with other widowed people that may benefit from the Happy Chemicals that our friendship, shared experiences, and mutual support help to foster and generate in each other. In our private Facebook groups you will find many positive posts and discussions, as well as a wide variety of social event options to enjoy. Posts and events are shared and discussed daily in our private groups. Don’t miss out! Join and share today! Happy chemicals are contagious and they are encouraged and generated by active members of YWOW in all of the ways mentioned in the image included with this post! Membership is free for qualified widows and widowers. Access our website to complete your membership request today!… YWOW.org

12/17/2025

You never know what someone is going through!

DEPRESSION TIPS:
Shower. Not a bath, a shower.
Use water as hot or cold as you like. You don’t even need to wash. Just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. Sit on the floor if you need to.

Moisturize everything.
Use whatever lotion you like.
Unscented? Dollar store lotion? Fancy 48 hour lotion that makes you smell like a field of wildflowers? Use whatever you want, and use it all over your entire skin.

Put on clean, comfortable clothes.
Put on your favorite underwear.
Those ridiculous boxers you bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? Put them on.

Drink cold water.
Use ice. If you want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

Clean something.
Doesn’t have to be anything big. Organize one drawer of a desk. Wash five dirty dishes. Do a load of laundry. Scrub the bathroom sink.

Blast music.
Listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. Sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

Make food.
Don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. Take the time and make food. Even if it’s ramen. Add something special to it, like a soft boiled egg or some veggies. Prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something.

Make something.
Write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. Even if you don’t think you’re good at it. Create.

Go outside.
Take a walk. Sit in the grass. Look at the clouds. Smell flowers. Put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

Call someone.
Call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. Talk to a stranger on the street. Have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. If you can’t bring yourself to call, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. Even if you don’t say much, listen to them. It helps.

Cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them.
Take pictures of them. Talk to them. Tell them how you feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out, anything.

May seem small or silly to some, but this list keeps people alive.

*** At your absolute best you won’t be good enough for the wrong people. But at your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right ones. Remember that. Keep holding on.
*** In case nobody has told you today I love you and you are worth your weight and then some in gold, so be kind to yourself and most of all keep pushing on!!!!

Find something to be grateful for!








Someone is happy because you exist ♥️