10/25/2026
🚨 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒𝐍'𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐃.
𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐬.
Well, well, well. Our old friend Shellie Flockhart has made 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑊𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑡𝑜𝑛 𝑃𝑜𝑠𝑡.
You remember Shellie. The Moms for Liberty–aligned crusader who spent months trying to gut Dallas Center–Grimes' 10th-grade 𝐴𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝐷𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚 literature unit, apparently convinced that students shouldn't have to encounter the American Dreams of immigrants, Black Americans, Asian Americans, or anyone whose experiences might challenge her worldview.
𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝐼𝑠 𝑀𝑦 𝐴𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑎. 𝐴𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝐵𝑜𝑟𝑛 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑒. 𝐼 𝑊𝑎𝑠 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝐴𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝐷𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚. Michelle Obama's memoir.
Apparently, THOSE American Dreams were too controversial for the classroom.
Anyway, Shellie appeared in a million-dollar Republican attack ad declaring that congressional candidate Sarah Trone Garriott is “just plain dangerous” to children.
Unfortunately for Shellie, 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑊𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑡𝑜𝑛 𝑃𝑜𝑠𝑡 noticed that Shellie herself had pleaded guilty to child endangerment after driving drunk with her two young children in the car.
𝐎𝐨𝐩𝐬.
Naturally, Shellie responded with a beautifully decorated, two-page proclamation titled 𝑀𝑦 𝑃𝑎𝑠𝑡. 𝐺𝑜𝑑'𝑠 𝐺𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑒. 𝑀𝑦 𝑇𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑦.
And WHAT a literary masterpiece.
She celebrates her humility, praises her transparency, and asks everyone to appreciate the complexity of her story. Reminds everyone not to judge someone by a single chapter of their life.
Then delivers this gem:
“𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦.”
SHELLIE. SWEETIE.
𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐎𝐑.
Apparently, stories about adversity, struggle, redemption, and second chances are essential to understanding America.
𝐀𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭.
But wait! There's more!
In the span of just two pages, Shellie manages to date the very same incident two different ways:
📖 𝐏𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝟏: “More than 9 years ago—3355 days, to be precise.”
📖 𝐏𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝟐: “That incident eight years ago doesn’t define me.”
Nine years. Eight years. 𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬. 𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬. 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫.
We'd call that an unreliable narrator, but Shellie might object to the literary terminology.
Perhaps she could benefit from a little more academic rigor. 𝐖𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐂-𝐆 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝟏𝟎𝐭𝐡-𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐮𝐦.
And our personal favorite?
After two pages devoted to her extraordinary personal journey, Shellie assures us:
“𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞.”
Of course not, Shellie.
It's about the American Dream.
You know, the one DC-G students are still allowed to study because 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐮𝐦 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞.
But Shellie isn't finished.
In what may be the most spectacular example of accidental self-awareness ever committed to a floral stationery template, she offers this final pearl of wisdom:
“𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠—𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥.”
SHELLIE.
𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅.
You spent months demanding that students be shielded from perspectives that made you uncomfortable.
Now you're asking the entire internet to appreciate the complexity of YOUR life, understand YOUR experiences, and recognize the importance of YOUR story.
𝐅𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐬𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭.
And here's the beautiful thing about literature, Shellie: sometimes the most revealing part of a story isn't what the narrator tells us.
𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐬.
Congratulations, Shellie.
You've managed to demonstrate irony, characterization, unreliable narration, and the importance of critical reading—all in two pages.
𝐓𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐃𝐂-𝐆'𝐬 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐮𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐈𝐒 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠.
Apparently, everyone deserves to tell their own American Dream story.
𝑇𝑒𝑟𝑚𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑙𝑦. 𝑆𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑚𝑚𝑖𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠, 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑟, 𝑜𝑟 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑆ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑦 𝑏𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡.
💜💛 𝐀𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞'𝐬 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
P.S. New here? We'll link our previous adventures with Shellie and DC-G's American Dream curriculum in the comments. Bring popcorn.
Gene Luen Yang Michelle Obama PEN America Washington Post
