Victories For Men

09/14/2026

There’s an anecdote from the great pianist Eubie Blake, well into his 90’s, was asked ‘When did your s*x drive go?’ Answered, ‘You’ll have to ask somebody older than me.’ I, on the other hand, can feel it slipping away as I transition from those with testosterone to those without. S*x and every tangential topic is hard for me to talk about, even in the confidential safety of our PGGs. For me, it’s been a horrible combination of isolation and shame. Shame has kept me isolated, and isolation has fed the shame. Each of us needs to get past this and be more willing to talk about our s*xual being.

S*x involves more than just us. Our partners are involved too. Withholding affection, seeking affection elsewhere, or weaponizing s*x are all obvious topics we should be able to talk about - to someone. In reality, I’m talking about when we’re out of integrity, and that’s something we should always be able to talk about in our circles. Less obvious topics include talking with our partners about our unspoken desires and being open to theirs, too. If we strive to be ‘Good Men,’ we should also strive for equity in our primary relationship. That means inside the bedroom as well as outside it too.

Good Men also means thinking about the messages we share with innocent bystanders. What are our children learning about s*x from us? Are we open and approachable, no matter the topic? Are they learning to become respectful adults because of what we demonstrate? Do we objectify others because of their physical presentation or s*xual orientation? I think about how I raised my son, and I feel some shame that I was not as open and forthcoming around s*x as I could have been. I deferred to ‘the experts’ far too often to educate him. I can’t imagine what kind of parent I’d have been if I had daughters.

Our s*xual health is more than erections and our prostate. It’s foundational to who we are, how we walk through the world, and how we want others to see us, yet it’s often the thing we talk about the least… unless you’re my dog. That pup has heard quite a bit!

Our ask this week: Step out of your comfort zone and broach an uncomfortable topic with someone. Reflect on the messages you send to others. Is it a reflection of your integrity and humanity, or is it something less.

Find out what we are about:

Victories offers a safe and empowering place for men to discover more about themselves, to connect with other men, and to build their best possible life.

09/07/2026

We can all Step-up!
I saw my doctor last week and had my annual blood workup. Three things made this routine checkup remarkable. The first is that, for the most part, I’m in pretty good shape. After a lifetime of neglect, there’s very little that needs attention. I’ve often called this my ‘penalty phase’ of life, where neglect, which sometimes has bordered on abuse, catches up with me and I must change my lifestyle in order to stick around a while longer. That can got kicked down the road. For now.

The second thing that makes this doctor's visit remarkable, and I’m not taking any credit for this, is that I can’t remember the last time I consciously abused my body. I am wound so tight that to ingest anything that would loosen my tight grip on my persona is a mortifying thought. I don’t know how to relax, or let down my hair, or simply ‘let ‘er rip!’ I have to control every movement, thought, and action. Spontaneity needs to be planned out in advance. In other words, being wound tight is like never taking a toy off the shelf - pretty to look at, but no great stories to reminisce about.

Finally, the third reason my doctor's visit was remarkable is that I have a true friend who realized I was taking my medication sporadically, because I simply didn't care anymore. For more than a year, possibly more than two years, I just stopped and was willing to let nature take its course. In a loving, non-judgmental way, using plenty of “I” statements, he shared how afraid he was for me, how much he needed me in his life, and how much he hoped I would get back to taking care of myself. It was unconditional love at its finest, and it frankly saved my life.

We all need to be this kind of friend. First, to ourselves: to be gentle and loving but also fair and honest. Are our actions in the best interest of our loved ones, or are they a bit self-deceptive or worse, self-destructive? Are we enriching the lives of those around us through acceptance and compassion, or are we setting up hurdles and goals that diminish the color of life around us? Are we living a life that makes our families proud? Can we have the tough conversations? Can we take risks and say the hard things that convey our love and not our judgments?

Our ask this week: What kind of friend are you? What kind of partner and/or parent are you? Do you strive to uplift those around you by being the best person you can be, or do you hold back, like keeping yourself on the shelf for fear of getting scuffed or scratched?

Victories is ramping up our Fall programming.

For men of any age looking to lead a more fulfilling life, we have the BreakThrough Weekend in early October.

At the end of October, we have our Wisdom Years retreat for men looking to find purpose and meaning in the latter half of life.
We’re excited to announce our

Couples Weekend retreat in early November. This retreat is for any committed couple looking to improve understanding and communication and to revitalize their relationship. Highly recommended.

Last but not least, we’re holding a Shadow Weekend Retreat in the middle of October. This retreat is for men who want to reconnect with the vitality of their true selves, which society and their persona have minimized and obscured over the years. Prior men's work is recommended.

Find out more: https://www.victoriesformen.org/

05/25/2026

Sign up today!
https://www.victoriesformen.org/event/round-table-staying-human-during-rapid-technological-advances_05302026/

03/23/2026

Face your pain.
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03/04/2026

FIND OUT IF VICTORIES IS RIGHT FOR YOU.

No-obligation opportunity to chat with a Victories volunteer, who will answer your questions and tell you of our offerings. # # # # WHAT IS VICTORIES? Victories offers a saf

03/04/2026

Connect. Thrive. Discover.
www.victories.org

03/04/2026

02/19/2026

MAN IN THE MIRROR:
The Relational Journey of Fathers and Sons

This sad legacy is typically passed down from fathers to sons across multiple generations. Sons often seek the attention and approval of their fathers, who never received s

02/18/2026

Feeling Isolated and disconnected. We have an answer.
www.victories.org

01/18/2026

New Men On Point episode

The average age of first exposure to hardcore content is now around 12 - with more than half of teens reporting they'd seen it by age 13. For parents and partners, this isn't a distant cultural issue - it's showing up in homes and relationships right now.

Chris Fleming spent 12 years as an insider in the adult industry, representing some of its biggest stars. What he shares here - about the performers, the economics, and the psychological patterns he observed - is the most clear-eyed account I've encountered. No judgment, just information that can help people make more informed decisions for themselves and their families.

Chris Fleming shares his journey from the music business to a leading role in the adult film industry and later, real estate. Chris offers a candid look at the realities facing performers, the reasons many enter the industry, and the...