05/14/2026
🚨 SECURITY ALERT (not actually an emergency, just Nomad being Nomad)
A suspicious striped individual has been spotted scaling the front windows of Fawn’s Family Cat Rescue & Lounge.
Witnesses describe him as:
- Extremely handsome
- Unlicensed in construction
- Loud about his opinions
- Fueled entirely by food & treats
When questioned, the suspect screamed, posed dramatically, and continued his climb.
His name is Nomad.
He is management. 👑💜😂