10/29/2026
Only God Could Have Known…
That I would mention just last night to my hubby and this morning to my son that my pain is equivalent to or worse than birthing a baby, all naturally with water broken from the get go. (Been there, done that… so I can honestly say that.)
And that I would be walking the dog this afternoon a short distance and then squatting in both birthing position AND Elijah’s praying position as I listened to this devotion.
Only He could knowingly and so gently, kindly, and timely show me that He sees me in my pain. And lovingly tells me that these aren’t pains of punishment, but He is allowing it to hone me in, to invite me into something he is birthing in me and eventually through me … even if I don’t exactly know how, what, or when. To encourage me to wait expectantly for what He is creating and growing …
I didn’t know how much I needed to know He sees me, and needed Him to intimately speak to me in ways only He knows how to get into me. His good good nature is always revealed to me when I am in nature. And listening for a word distinctly from Him.
I too often forget, being in His presence and being seen and known by Him is enough for this quality time love language gal.
I’ve been feeling lonely frankly - even in a house of people poking their heads in occasionally to check on me (obviously feeling awkward about how to help me). I’ve also been trying to plan for the future through the lens of “what ifs” instead of “even ifs” (aka worried) about my future health, the future of my healthcare if this lasts longer than expected (which it has already, honestly), and the future of WHS.
These devos today graciously reMINDed me, I’m seen, I’m loved, and I’m known. I am not alone. If the God who cares for and provides for the flowers of the field in all their glory for a short time, how much more does he care for me for an everlasting lifetime?
And if the God who created the world, and split the seas for His family of children (which I am adopted into) … takes the notion to notice me, see me in my birthing prayer position at the exact moment that the devo spoke of Elijah’s posture of prayer … and makes a way to notify me that he had already known and prepared for that very moment FOR me bc he knows our hearts, our every movement, down to our single moment of breath, what, when, where and how we will do it… so that He perfectly times His message for me when I desperately need to know he sees me and loves me enough to orchestrate it all so perfectly. Just for me, in that exact moment in that exact posture after another extremely painful night of what felt more like natural birthing pains x2 shooting through my back and arm. (If ONLY it would pop out, in essence, and produce something as beautiful as a newborn baby. 😘😅)
Thank you, Jesus! That you notice and you orchestrate a very special moment to be with me so intimately- so meaningfully - that The King of heaven and earth would meet with me - to ensure your daughter (in a sea of millions) would know that you see me in my pain, you hear my groans - Holy Spirit interceded prayers, and you SHOW me in a very special way that you make time for me, and meet me where and however unruly I am … reminding me it’s about relationship, not religion.
Bonus photos of what I’ve begun reading. And I’ll be re-studying/updating my Trauma Sensitive Yoga certification, too. Been on my list for a while. No time like the present 💝 Refocusing on what I CAN do.
At this point, I don’t know how to NOT give God the glory! I can’t make this stuff up! I can’t plan and orchestrate this stuff so well. 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
😳🫣And this is why I can’t be on IG, I have too much to share! More than 2,200 characters most of the time! 🤣 and often more than 5 😮💨
🥴