02/09/2026
❤️❤️ Bit of a reflective day today. Exactly 30 years ago my daughter Courtney-Ann was born still born after so many horrofic mistakes in the hospital.😢😢. Due to length of time everything took my wife at the time (now x-wife) had to go through normal labour, then Queens medical centers negligence as they left us on the ward all night, with other new families, they left Courtney with us and gave us no real support apart from saying there's a chapel downstairs 🤬.
From that day we had to arrange a funeral, I carried her confin into the crematorium, let her go and as far as anyone else was concerned that's it it was done. Well no far from as deep scars that I never dealt with where formed.
30 years ive carried this, its affected me in so many ways but I believed as a man I have to be strong and just get on with it, shut it away and move on....
Well recently I'm not ashamed to say from things I found on my coaching course and with my amazing wife Angii Smith s advice and never ending support which i can't thank her enough for, ive now been through a course of cognitive behavioural therapy to deal with so many demons ive closed away. This, losing mum, dad snd so much more. This I must admit has made me realise my preconceptions from my up bringinging that men are men and dont show feelings are total and utter bo****ks.!!!! We need to let things out and be at more at peace with ourselves or we impact those around us and create a closed, negative and toxic environment that helps nobody.
So my reflection I suppose is never suffer in silence as baggage carried affects your mental health in so many ways, then the shadow you cast affects others.
My door, my heart, my mind is open to anyone struggling, so if you suffer, or you struggle with letting things out.....DONT. Reach out, share the load and life will become better on so many levels. ❤️❤️
Take care and its ok to admit your not ok remember that ❤️
Feel fee to share this with anyone struggling to let Men (and women) know its ok to be honest. Life's to short to bottle things up. Release the load and enjoy your time on this planet ###
