11/15/2025
Update: HAROLD HAS BEEN ADOPTED!!
We were contacted by someone looking to rehome their cat named Harold who is getting beat up on by his siblings. If you know anyone interested in adopting, please reach out asap.
✨PLEASE TAKE OUR BROTHER HAROLD✨
A Desperate Plea from Two Very Tired, Very Evil Sibling Cats
Hello.
We’re the two brothers.
The villains of this story.
The chaos twins.
The menace duo.
The furry mafia.
And we’re here because we have a problem…
A problem named Harold.
⸻
📣 Who Is Harold?
Harold is a 2-year-old, male, neutered, soft-spoken, gentle house panther with the emotional energy of a tax accountant and the personality of a beige sweater.
He is:
• Sweet
• Quiet
• Polite
• Sensitive
• And so anxious that he walks around like he’s in a spy movie dodging lasers.
Harold comes out only to:
• Eat (fast, but quietly)
• Use the litter box (while nervously checking for assassins… us)
• Stare into space wondering why his life is like this
⸻
😈 The Brother Situation
We’ll be honest:
We—the Agent Smith twins—have been trying to evict him.
We started subtle:
• Side-eye
• Tail flick threats
• Gentle intimidation
He didn’t get the hint.
So we escalated:
• Tactical pounces
• Surprise smack-attacks
• WWE smackdowns in the hallway
• “Leave, Harold” whisper campaigns
He STILL didn’t get the hint.
And now we’re tired.
He’s tired.
Everyone’s tired, except Harold, who is perpetually anxious and walking like he’s trying not to trip a motion sensor.
We feel kinda bad.
(We hate that.)
But also…
We’re not stopping.
We’re villains. It’s our brand.
If no one steps in, the beatings will escalate to dramatic soap-opera slaps.
Harold deserves better.
⸻
🏡 Harold’s Dream Home
Harold would thrive in a place where:
• The residents don’t have “mischief” as their full-time job
• He can walk around without checking his six
• He can nap without fear of aerial assaults
• He can be his sweet, soft, shy self
• He can finally unclench
He’d do great with:
• A quiet person
• A calm household
• Someone who appreciates a gentle cat who just wants peace and snacks
⸻
🌟 Why You Should Adopt Harold
Harold is:
• Cute
• Mild-mannered
• Respectful
• Not destructive
• Not chaotic
• Basically the opposite of us
He’s the kind of cat who will sit next to you quietly, blink softly, and make you feel like you’re the safest person alive.
We love him…
But also we are ruining his life.
And honestly that’s on us.
⸻
🙏 Please Save Harold
We are evil.
Harold is not.
Harold cannot continue living like he’s in witness protection.
Adopt Harold.
Save a life.
And restore our peace, our villain arc, and our household balance.
Sincerely,
The Two Brothers Who Mean Well
(But also don’t.)
