10/30/2026
Can you still be being abused even if it doesn't happen all the time? Even if there are good days? YES. That's how the cycle of abuse works, and that's why abuse can feel so confusing sometimes.
In the HONEYMOON phase, everything is wonderful. You feel special and your partner may buy you gifts or compliment you.
In the PLEASANT phase, everything is fine. It may not be the constant lovebombing of the honeymoon phase, but there are no big problems.
In the TENSION phase, things are going downhill. You walk on eggshells because you know any little thing could set off your partner. Your focus turns from love and fun to preventing an explosion.
In the ABUSE phase, your partner's behavior turns from just making you nervous to actively abusing you. It may be physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, financial, reproductive, or other kinds of abuse. I can be one explosive incident or ongoing for days, weeks, even months.
In the REMORSE phase, your partner denies, minimizes, and justifies the abuse. They may blame you, work, a friend or family member, or other outside factors — anything to avoid calling it what it is. They may apologize and promise it will never happen again, they'll make it up to you...
..which leads back to the HONEYMOON phase.
If you see a similar pattern in your relationship, ALC is here to help. Our specially trained advocates are available 24/7 to help you think through what's happening in your relationship, make a plan to stay safe, and figure out your next move. We will always believe you and we will never pressure you to do anything that doesn't feel right for you.
Call 719-486-3530 and press 1 to speak with an advocate 24/7/365.
