04/01/2026
The official response from Beverly 400+ has been released.
Early reports indicate Beverly intends to keep its beaches, its history… and Shoebert.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Beverly 400+ Announces New Event Celebrating Continued Independence
BEVERLY, MA — In response to Salem’s surprise announcement of “reunification” with several neighboring communities, Beverly 400+ officials today announced a new commemorative celebration titled “Never Salem.”
“As we celebrate Beverly’s 400th anniversary, we felt it was important to reaffirm a tradition that dates back to the 1600’s,” said one Beverly 400 official who absolutely wanted to be quoted. “And that tradition is not being Salem,”
The event will celebrate Beverly’s long history as an independent community and will include historical exhibits recognizing Beverly as the Birthplace of the American Navy, scenic views of Beverly’s beaches, and a ceremonial reaffirmation of the city’s preferred location across the bridge.
Organizers also confirmed a planned appearance by Beverly’s most famous resident, Shoebert the Seal, who has reportedly declined all invitations to relocate to Salem.
When asked about Salem’s claim that Beverly may need to rebrand its merchandise with “A Neighborhood of Salem” stickers, Beverly 400+ officials responded that thousands of Beverly 400 items have already been printed and that “the sticker budget was not approved.”
The inaugural Never Salem celebration will take place sometime between now and the next 400 years. Full-size candy bars will be considered during future negotiations.
When reached for comment, Beverly residents reportedly responded with a simple message: “Nice try, Salem.”
