Living Systems Counselling

Living Systems Counselling See the Patterns. Shift the System. Supporting individuals, couples, and families at all income levels since 1971.

Move from reacting to responding with clarity, confidence, and care.

"When conflict becomes a constant (in the family, community, or social group), it is not because a perpetrator is so bad...
08/31/2026

"When conflict becomes a constant (in the family, community, or social group), it is not because a perpetrator is so bad, a victim is so victimized, or a rescuer is so misguided, but because the terrain is weak." ~ Chris East, Bowen Theory Academy

When conflict keeps happening, we often look for someone to blame. But a family systems perspective invites us to zoom out.

What is happening in the relationship system as a whole? Sometimes, the bigger picture can tell us a lot more than just focusing on one person.

08/29/2026

It isn't just about the fight between the two people. What might a conflict actually be telling us about the relationships around us?

At our upcoming Thinking BIG About Family Challenges conference, keynote speaker Dr. Carrie Collier will explore what conflicts and challenges may be really about, and how we can think beyond the immediate problem.

Early bird registration is still available!
https://livingsystems.ca/conference/thinking-big-about-family-challenges/

Sometimes, the people we argue with most are the people who matter most to us. What they say matters. What they do affec...
08/23/2026

Sometimes, the people we argue with most are the people who matter most to us. What they say matters. What they do affects us. We have expectations, hopes, fears and reactions around them.

Kerr and Bowen describe how conflict can actually provide “emotional contact” while also creating emotional distance.

Conflict may be uncomfortable, but it can also make us curious about why we are so emotionally affected by each other.

08/19/2026

We've all experienced conflicts in relationships, but how do you actually think about the word "conflict"?

🎧 Listen to Kathleen Smith, PhD, LPC on how she thinks about conflicts on our Elevator Systems podcast

Sometimes the challenges a family is facing can leave everyone carrying more anxiety, especially when there are differen...
08/15/2026

Sometimes the challenges a family is facing can leave everyone carrying more anxiety, especially when there are different needs, expectations, and ways of experiencing the world.

At our upcoming October conference, Thinking Big About Family Challenges, Rebecca will explore the efforts of a caregiver within a neurodiverse family system, and what we can learn by looking beyond the individual to the family system around them.

We’re looking forward to learning together and hearing from the wonderful speakers we have lined up!

See full schedule here:
https://livingsystems.ca/conference/thinking-big-about-family-challenges/

Have you ever been around someone who is really stressed, and before long, you start feeling stressed too?Or maybe someo...
08/12/2026

Have you ever been around someone who is really stressed, and before long, you start feeling stressed too?

Or maybe someone in your family is worried about something, and suddenly everyone is on edge.

Bowen described this simply: Anxiety “‘rubs off’ on people; it is transmitted and absorbed without thinking.

We don’t always notice when we’re picking up someone else’s anxiety or when our own anxiety is starting to affect the people around us.

Next time when you start to feel on edge, it's helpful to pause and ask yourself: What am I feeling right now? Is this really my own anxiety, or am I picking up on someone else’s anxiety?

Sometimes, simply noticing where our anxiety is coming from can help us respond a little more thoughtfully.

"Anxiety is inevitable if you solve the problem. When anxiety increases, one has to decide whether to give in and retrea...
08/07/2026

"Anxiety is inevitable if you solve the problem. When anxiety increases, one has to decide whether to give in and retreat or carry on in spite of it." - Dr. Murray Bowen

Anxiety is part of being human. We can’t always eliminate it but we can decide how we respond to it.

Perhaps the goal isn’t to get rid of anxiety. It’s to learn how to carry on in spite of it.

08/05/2026

Anxiety doesn't always mean something is wrong. Sometimes it can actually give us some useful information.

Instead of asking, "How do I get rid of this feeling?" try asking, "What is my anxiety trying to tell me here?"

Getting curious about our anxiety can tell us far more than trying to fight it.

🎧 Go back and listen to our Season 1 Elevator Systems podcast for more

Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking, "Why didn't I just say what I actually thought?"Most of us have....
07/31/2026

Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking, "Why didn't I just say what I actually thought?"

Most of us have.

It take courage to define self, and it often starts with the daily small moments.

More on this in our latest blog post:
https://livingsystems.ca/courage-to-define-self/

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901 3rd Street West
North Vancouver, BC
V7P3P9

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+16049265496

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