Be Reconciled

01/26/2026

Wade Mullen's “Wheel of Reality-Bending Phrases” shows us six common ways spiritual language can be used to distort truth, protect power, and twist the narrative. “They are spiritually loaded statements that collapse moral complexity, redirect attention away from harm, and recode ethical concerns, fear, or protest as spiritual failure. They do not merely offer a possible interpretation; they impose a narrative. They make what is dangerous appear holy, what is protective appear sinful, and what is abusive appear loving. These phrases do not simply end thought, but reshape the playing field and the rules of engagement in which dialogue occurs.”

Mullen’s “Wheel of Reality-Bending Phrases” shows us six common ways spiritual language can be used to distort truth, protect power, and twist the narrative. “They are spiritually loaded statements that collapse moral complexity, redirect attention away from harm, and recode ethical co...

01/15/2026

12/20/2025

As Christians who love the gospel of peace, let’s be aware of counterfeits.

"Wisdom calls us to avoid being defrauded by those who would try to capitalize on the currency of Biblical peacemaking. An oppressor may try to pass off counterfeit peacemaking as the real thing. While it presents as peacemaking, it’s only an illusion meant to deceive others and ‘keep the peace’." - From "The Weaponization of Peacemaking in Spiritual Abuse" at https://open.substack.com/pub/bereconciled/p/the-weaponization-of-peacemaking

12/09/2025

Have you ever found yourself in an environment where it didn’t feel safe to ask questions? Perhaps you wanted to dive into Scripture to study a particular topic but were met with fear or condescension.

How should we as Christians engage with those we disagree with? Consider that God cares about how we hold our positions as we engage others, not just if we hold the right position. What would it look like if Christians came to conflicts with a posture of humility, possessing an openness to being persuaded by those we disagree with?

Have you ever found yourself in an environment where it didn’t feel safe to ask questions?

10/30/2025

Post tenebras lux. Translated: after darkness, light. This was a rallying cry of the Reformation and the heart of many today who oppose abuse and corruption in the church.

Many whistleblowers are loyal sons and daughters of the church who find themselves thrust into an undesired role as their consciences process what is happening before them. Consciences captive to the word of God and his authority… come what may.

While institutional authorities may cast whistleblowers (like Luther) as disgruntled heretics who don’t respect authority and pose a threat to the church, it may actually be that those concerned about abuse want to see the church reflecting gospel integrity and living under the light and freedom of the gospel.

“We can convince ourselves that loving the church means keeping our mouths shut about its weaknesses. But what if that’s not what it means to love the church? What if loving the church means we want it to be sanctified so it reflects Christ’s beauty even more? What if loving the church means loving the sheep—whom Christ loves—and guarding them against the wolves Christ asked us to watch out for? What if loving the church means addressing the things that mar its reputation in front of a watching world?” - Dr. Michael Kruger (Bully Pulpit, p.17-18.)

Happy Reformation Day!

Semper reformanda. “the church reformed, always to be reforming”

10/07/2025

I like Dr. Michael Kruger’s definition of spiritual abuse. Notice the “even if” part of his definition. The deceptive nature of abuse is that even abusers can do good things and genuinely help a number of people. At the same time, he may also be self-deceived and harming others.

“Spiritual abuse is when a spiritual leader- such as a pastor, elder, or head of a Christian organization – wields his position of spiritual authority in such a way that he manipulates, domineers, bullies, and intimidates those under him as a means of maintaining his own power and control, even if he is convinced he is seeking biblical and kingdom-related goals.” (Bully Pulpit, Dr. Michael Kruger, p.24).

05/05/2025

In this post, we discuss witnesses and evidence in our pursuit of justice within the church. Witnesses and evidence are not narratives told by the loudest voice, hearsay that can’t be cross-examined, or allusions to confidentiality. What evidence do we need before we attribute guilt in our ecclesiastical courts? Do the Scriptures give us any guidance as we seek justice with accuracy?

https://www.bereconciled.com/peacemaking/witnesses-and-evidence-in-ecclesiastical-courts/

03/06/2025

"The power of a person is found in likeness to Jesus Christ"- Diane Langberg.

Read "Towards a Right Use of Power" at https://www.bereconciled.com/abuse-dynamics/towards-a-right-use-of-power/

02/07/2025

This month we share a guest post from Pastor Mike Sharrett:

"Many good books are available to help church leaders reflect on the multiple aspects of their roles and responsibilities. Recent publications, regrettably, have needed to address the issue of abuse among church leaders, including the scandal of narcissism and the “bully pulpit.” The PCA's DASA Committee has produced a report with particular attention to spiritual abuse inflicted by church leaders. Add to this the experience of many Sessions that struggle relationally, whether tension between Ruling Elders and Teaching Elders, or lack of vision to rule collaboratively and collegially, or those lamentable occasions when Teaching Elders do not leave their call well. What’s happening? While many factors contribute to strain in these situations, you can be sure what isn’t happening: humility. To be a bit simplistic, much of this dysfunction originates in the heart: neglecting to constantly battle pride and to cultivate the indispensable qualifier for an officer of the church: humble, other-centered servanthood." - Pastor Mike Sharrett

What is an indispensable qualifier for an officer of the church? Pastor Mike Sharrett makes the case for the importance of humble, other-centered servanthood and calls us to reflect on Jesus's heart.

01/06/2025

In abuse cases, we need to be aware of the trap of mutualization and equalization of sin lest we cause greater harm. What is sin-leveling in abuse and what is the alternative?

https://www.bereconciled.com/abuse-dynamics/sin-leveling-in-abuse/

11/21/2024

In order to avoid being harmed, it's important to be able to recognize a seared conscience. Yet those with seared consciences don't wear a sign proclaiming that they have a seared conscience. Instead, they present as normal and good people.

What does the seared conscience of an abuser look like? This person does not feel proper guilt or shame for his abominations as his conscience has been seared, as with a hot iron. After ignoring his conscience repeatedly over and over, his conscience has become calloused and no longer functions to warn him that he is in danger. This searing doesn’t happen overnight, rather it happens after he has suppressed his conscience time and time again.

What does the seared conscience of an abuser look like? This person does not feel proper guilt or shame for his abominations as his conscience has been seared, as with a hot iron. After ignoring his conscience repeatedly over and over, his conscience has become calloused and no longer functions to w...

09/12/2024

I enjoyed this article by Trevor Laurence entitled “Political Witness and the Reign of the Lamb.” He discusses politics, power, and the book of Revelation. He argues that worship is the most profound spiritual act of God’s people lest we lose sight of the King during this election season.

He states: “The Book of Revelation is a revelation from Jesus of Jesus, so that his church can follow the Lamb while the Dragon yet prowls. That ancient crafty serpent is happy to manipulate imperial beasts to exert social, political, and economic pressure to deny Jesus. But if he cannot make us leave the Lamb, he is content to make us look so much like the Dragon that nobody can tell the difference. If he cannot get you to turn your back on the Lamb, he is more than happy to have you try to accomplish the Lamb’s ends using the Dragon’s means—and to become more dragon-like in the process.”

Trevor Laurence In the book of Acts, there is a story about a man named Stephen—full of faith and...