25/10/2026
“The friends I thought would always be by my side were nowhere to be seen, which was heartbreaking.”
Nicky was diagnosed with multiple myeloma and a rare disease called amyloidosis (a buildup of protein in the body which affects the normal function of tissues and organs) in 2022.
Since her diagnosis, Nicky has experienced friends withdrawing and has lost some close friendships as a result. She shares how cancer changed her relationships and what she found most helpful from those around her.
“I actually felt the biggest sense of relief when I got that phone call about my diagnosis, because I knew then what I had to fight. Before that point, I felt absolutely helpless because we didn't know what I was fighting, how to fight it, or even if we could.
“My immediate family and my children’s father were the first people I confided in. Following that, I told a small handful of close friends along with my employer. I was trying to get my head around my diagnosis, and I couldn’t deal with anyone other than them asking questions or approaching me.
“I struggled with people sharing my diagnosis with others. My life was being controlled by hospital appointments, medication and the side effects, so it felt important that I had the choice about who I told.
“When you have cancer, you find out who your real friends are, which is a good thing. Also, other people surprise you – people you never thought would show up for you do, and those relationships have blossomed into beautiful, proper friendships.
“The friends that helped me the most were the ones that just helped out with general day-to-day tasks. It's easy to say you'll be there for someone if you need them, but it made such a difference when people just helped without me having to ask.
“Don't hide away if you're struggling to deal with someone's cancer diagnosis; there's so much support you can get. Yes, cancer changes someone's identity, but they want you to treat them as you always have.”
Whether you’re supporting a loved one through cancer or have been diagnosed. We’re here to help: https://www.macmillan.org.uk/fair-cancer-care/dont-go-quiet
When cancer shows up, don't go quiet.
