10/24/2026
I was in my office. WORKING. Being productive. Trying to run a respectable nonprofit organization.
Meanwhile, Ritchie, who has never paid a bill or contributed a SINGLE CENT toward office supplies, climbed onto the scanner, PHOTOCOPIED HIS ENTIRE FUZZY UNDERCARRIAGE, AND REQUESTED 99 COPIES.
NINETY. NINE. 💀
SIR?!?! WHO ARE THESE FOR?!
ARE WE PUTTING THESE ON ADOPTERS’ WINDSHIELDS?!
DO YOU HAVE A MAILING LIST?!
IS THIS A FUNDRAISER OR ARE WE RUNNING AN ONLYPAWS OUT OF MY OFFICE?!
I managed to stop the printer after TWELVE unsolicited glamour shots of Ritchie’s toe beans and unmentionables.
Then it hit me…
HE’S GETTING NEUTERED NEXT WEEK. 😭
Apparently, he wanted commemorative photos of his factory-installed equipment before his upcoming appointment.
SIR. YOU’RE GETTING NEUTERED. NOT DISCONTINUED!
His unmentionables have been censored because, unlike Ritchie, WE HAVE STANDARDS. 😂
On a personal note, I ABSOLUTELY needed this belly laugh today. We were laughing so hard we could barely breathe. The fact he did this on his own…😂❤️
And I may or may not be framing one of these masterpieces in my office.
Because apparently, when life gives you lemons, Ritchie gives you 12 photocopies of his butt. 💀🐾
EDIT: WELL, THIS HAS TAKEN AN UNEXPECTED TURN. 😭💀 Thanks to Ritchie’s newfound fame and some VERY enthusiastic suggestions from you people, we’re TOSSING A RIDICULOUS FUNDRAISING IDEA AROUND! 😂 Nothing is decided, and we’re just testing the waters! 👀 Check our pinned comment or newest post on our page for the hilariously questionable details, and PLEASE tell us what you think! We need to know whether Ritchie’s scandalous modeling career has actual fundraising potential or if we’ve all collectively lost our minds. 😭🐾
