Mediation Center

07/14/2026

A shouting match in a supermarket parking lot left Mediation Center Executive Director Tobin Lay thinking less about who was right and more about what was happening beneath the surface.

In conflict, the visible argument is often only a small part of the story. Underneath the words may be fear, dignity, belonging, grief, mistrust, or the need to be seen.

That is why leaders who move too quickly toward resolution can miss the conflict beneath the conflict.

In his latest article, Tobin explores:

• what conflict can reveal beneath the stated grievance
• the difference between positions and interests
• why curiosity can change the direction of a difficult conversation
• how leaders can slow down without avoiding decisions

The turning point in a difficult conversation often comes when someone stops preparing the next argument and becomes genuinely curious about what has not yet been understood.

Read the article, then share in the comments a time when you realized a conflict was not really about what you were fighting over. Your insight may help someone facing a difficult conversation today.

A few weeks ago, I pulled into a supermarket parking lot and found myself right in the middle of a heated shouting match. I got there in time to hear the older veteran man shout at a group of young Hispanic women “go back to Mexico” and the women shouting back with their own angry slurs, stating...

07/10/2026

This Fourth of July, we are celebrating two milestones at once.

Our country turns 250 years old, and Mediation Center marks 45 years of helping people find their way through conflict toward resolution. Both anniversaries are about the same thing at their core: people choosing to work things out together instead of walking away from each other.

Since 1981, we have believed that disagreement does not have to mean division. That belief has guided our work in courtrooms, boardrooms, and community meetings across Minnesota for four and a half decades.

Wishing you and your family a safe and happy Independence Day.

04/17/2026

Have you ever wished you could get a closer look at a place that has a major impact on your community?

For the past four years, we’ve had the honor of working with the Community Advisory Council to Flint Hills Resources Pine Bend Refinery in Dakota County. One thing that continues to stand out is that serving on the CAC gives local residents a real opportunity to learn, ask questions, share concerns, and help bring community perspectives into the conversation.

The CAC brings together residents and refinery leaders to share information, discuss issues, and make recommendations related to refinery operations, including environmental, health, and safety topics. It is a thoughtful group that takes its work seriously and models the kind of respectful, informed dialogue communities need more of.

If you live in Inver Grove Heights, Rosemount, Nininger Township, Coates, Empire Township, Hastings, or Vermillion Township, I hope you will consider applying. It is a meaningful way to serve your community and participate in important conversations that affect it.

Applications are now being accepted, and interviews will begin soon:
https://lnkd.in/gCW7kXKt