10/05/2026
This is on point!
💩📚 S**T YOU SHOULD KNOW SUNDAY: THE ROTTWEILER EDITION 📚💩
Welcome to our educational series, where we attempt to prevent people from acquiring dogs based solely on “OMG LOOK AT HIS BIG HEAD 😍” and then acting absolutely fu***ng bewildered when said dog starts behaving like the breed it has been genetically engineered to be.
Today’s lesson:
🐾 THE ROTTWEILER.
Ah yes. The Rottweiler.
A majestic German working breed built like a refrigerator with eyebrows and approximately ZERO INTEREST IN YOUR BULLS**T.
But before we discuss why your Rottweiler thinks he should be involved in every household security decision, we need a tiny history lesson. 📚
The Rottweiler’s story goes back centuries. Their ancestors are generally traced to the mastiff-type drover dogs that traveled with Roman armies, helping move and guard livestock as the Romans crossed Europe.
Eventually, dogs of this type became associated with the German town of Rottweil, where they developed into working dogs used to drive cattle, guard livestock and property, and protect their handlers.
They became known as Rottweiler Metzgerhunds, or “butcher’s dogs of Rottweil.”
And NO, this does not mean they were running around Germany with tiny cleavers making bratwurst.
Butchers and cattle dealers relied on them to move livestock and protect people and property. They were also used as powerful draft dogs capable of pulling carts.
So basically humans spent generations saying:
“Please make this dog strong, confident, intelligent, protective, physically powerful, willing to work, and capable of making decisions.”
And now, centuries later, somebody buys one and says:
“Why does Diesel watch everyone who walks past my house?”
BECAUSE YOUR ANCESTORS ORDERED THE SECURITY PACKAGE, KAREN. 😭
Please notice that nowhere in the historical job description does it say:
✨ Decorative couch potato
✨ Dog park social chairman
✨ Brewery accessory
✨ Untrained neighborhood ambassador
✨ Something you buy because the puppy had “cute little bear paws”
This is a powerful guardian and working breed.
And when properly bred, socialized, trained, managed, and given appropriate outlets?
They can be absolutely fu***ng phenomenal.
Loyal. Intelligent. Confident. Trainable. Devoted. Hilarious. Powerful. Affectionate with their people.
Basically a 100-pound security guard who occasionally wants to sit directly on your internal organs because apparently personal space is communist propaganda.
BUT HERE COMES THE IMPORTANT S**T. 📢
A poorly bred, poorly socialized, poorly trained, completely unmanaged Rottweiler is not the same inconvenience as an untrained 12-pound Shih Tzu named Muffin.
Muffin loses her s**t at the Amazon driver and everyone says:
“Awww, Muffin! Stop it! 🤭”
A 110-pound Rottweiler loses his s**t at the Amazon driver and suddenly EVERYONE IS HAVING A VERY DIFFERENT AFTERNOON.
Because size matters.
Strength matters.
Genetics matter.
Temperament matters.
Training matters.
MANAGEMENT FU***NG MATTERS.
And this is where people get themselves into trouble.
They buy a Rottweiler puppy because it looks like a fuzzy little potato.
Then the fuzzy potato becomes a teenage rhinoceros with opinions.
He starts testing boundaries.
He becomes more aware of his surroundings.
He discovers that he is approximately the same weight as Aunt Carol.
He realizes nobody in the house actually enforces rules.
And suddenly everyone is standing in the kitchen whispering:
“Do you think Bruno will let us have the couch back?”
MA’AM.
YOU HAVE LOST THE GOVERNMENT. 😭
Your Rottweiler should not be running your household like a tiny European dictatorship.
This breed needs structure, consistency, training, thoughtful socialization, boundaries, mental stimulation, physical exercise, and an owner who understands what the hell they purchased.
Socialization also does NOT mean:
“Make your Rottweiler meet 9,000 strangers so he loves everybody.”
No.
The goal is a stable dog who can exist appropriately in the world.
Your guardian breed does not need to believe every stranger entering your personal bubble is their long-lost cousin Kevin.
They need to learn:
“That person exists. My handler sees them. I don’t need to file a police report.”
👏 THAT 👏 IS 👏 STABILITY. 👏
🚨 AND WHILE WE’RE HERE: YOUR DOG IS NOT YOUR CHILD’S FU***NG OBSTACLE COURSE. 🚨
This applies to Rottweilers, Chihuahuas, Golden Retrievers, Pit Bulls, Labradors, and every other dog currently wondering why the tiny human has been permitted to use them as playground equipment.
STOP letting children:
❌ Climb on dogs
❌ Sit or stand on their backs
❌ Pull ears and tails
❌ Crawl into their crates
❌ Hug them while they’re trying to get away
❌ Bother them while they’re eating or sleeping
❌ PUT THEIR FACE DIRECTLY INTO THE DOG’S FACE
And then posting a picture saying:
“Look how patient Diesel is with his little brother. 🥹❤️”
NO.
Look how much s**t Diesel is currently tolerating because the adults in the room aren’t protecting his boundaries.
Dogs can be AMAZING with children.
Rottweilers can be phenomenal family dogs in appropriate homes.
But being “good with kids” does not mean your dog should be expected to tolerate every ridiculous thing a child decides to do.
Your dog should have boundaries.
Your child should be taught boundaries.
And ADULTS SHOULD SUPERVISE BOTH OF THEM.
A dog should always have the ability to walk away and have a safe space where children leave them the hell alone.
And please stop punishing dogs for communicating discomfort.
The stiff body.
The head turn.
The lip lick.
The whale eye.
Trying to leave.
The growl.
Those are COMMUNICATION.
A growl is information.
If your dog says, “I am uncomfortable with this,” your response should not be:
“DON’T YOU GROWL AT MY CHILD.”
Your response should be:
“Okay, why is my child still climbing Mount Rottweiler like they’re trying to summit Everest?”
Separate them.
Change the situation.
Teach the child.
Protect the dog.
Because if we ignore every quieter signal a dog gives us, we don’t get to act shocked when the dog eventually communicates louder.
👏 DOGS 👏 ARE 👏 NOT 👏 JUNGLE 👏 GYMS. 👏
I don’t care how much your dog “loves your babies.”
Teach your babies to respect the damn dog.
ANYWAY.
Back to our regularly scheduled German refrigerator.
Please understand something else:
A ROTTWEILER IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EVERYBODY’S DOG.
Many are deeply devoted to their families and naturally discerning about strangers.
That does not automatically make them “mean.”
But, and this is a Kardashian sized BUT
GENETICS ARE NOT AN EXCUSE FOR DANGEROUS BEHAVIOR.
You cannot have a 120 pound dog trying to eat Steve from UPS and announce:
“Well, he’s protective.”
No, Linda.
Steve is holding a Chewy box.
Your dog needs training.
And for the love of all things holy, RESEARCH YOUR BREEDER.
A Rottweiler with unstable genetics is not something you want to discover after bringing home your $700 Craigslist “German XXL King Rottie” whose parents were selected because both had enormous skulls and absolutely no emotional regulation.
Temperament matters.
Health testing matters.
Ethical breeding matters.
Early development matters.
Training matters.
Because when you screw up a powerful breed, the dog usually pays the price.
The dog gets labeled aggressive.
The dog gets surrendered.
The dog lands in a shelter.
The dog becomes difficult to place.
And sometimes the dog loses its life.
Meanwhile the human walks away saying:
“We just didn’t know he would get so big.”
BARBARA.
IT WAS A FU***NG ROTTWEILER.
WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?
And since inevitably somebody will ask:
“But aren’t Rottweilers sweet?”
YES.
Holy s**t, yes.
A well-adjusted Rottweiler can be one of the funniest, most affectionate, loyal, ridiculous creatures you will ever meet.
They will protect the house from suspicious recycling bins and then require emotional support because you went to the bathroom without them.
They can go from:
“I HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED TO PROTECT THIS FAMILY.”
to
“Mother, please hold my enormous head while I sigh dramatically.”
in approximately six seconds.
They are magnificent dogs.
But magnificent does not mean appropriate for everyone.
👏 NOT EVERYONE DESERVES THESE BREEDS. 👏
And sometimes loving a breed means having enough self-awareness to say:
“That dog is fu***ng awesome.
And I absolutely do not need one.”
THAT is responsible dog ownership.
So today’s S**t You Should Know Sunday lesson is:
🧠 Research the breed.
🧬 Respect genetics.
🎓 Train the dog.
🌎 Socialize thoughtfully.
🚧 Establish boundaries.
👧 Teach children how to respectfully interact with dogs.
👀 SUPERVISE CHILDREN AND DOGS.
💪 Understand the physical power you’re dealing with.
❤️ Advocate for the dog you actually have, not the fantasy dog you imagined.
Because Rottweilers aren’t monsters.
They’re not accessories.
They’re not status symbols.
And they’re sure as f**k not playground equipment.
They’re powerful working dogs whose history helped shape the dogs standing in our living rooms today.
And if you don’t want structure, training, management, boundaries, continuing education, and occasionally having a 100-pound German meatball staring into your soul because dinner is four minutes late…
Perhaps consider a houseplant.
Actually, no.
Some of y’all would probably f**k that up too. 🪴💀
Class dismissed.
💩📚 S**T YOU SHOULD KNOW SUNDAY 📚💩
Presented by STAB Rescue, where apparently we save dogs AND provide free continuing education to the internet.
📸 AND BEFORE ANYONE ASKS THE ROTTWEILERS PICTURED IN THIS POST ARE LEONA AND SICARIO. 🖤🤎
These two magnificent German refrigerators are Amanda’s personal dogs, not rescue dogs available for adoption. 😂
They are living, breathing examples of exactly why we love this breed so damn much, and exactly why we will continue screaming from the rooftops that loving Rottweilers and believing everyone should own one are two VERY different things.
Leona and Sicario are mine.
You cannot have them.
Please admire the refrigerators from your side of the internet. 😂
**tYouShouldKnowSunday
