09/01/2026
What war took, what God gave back.
This picture was taken in 2009. I was 26 years old, fresh off my first deployment. We lost great men that deployment, and we killed a lot of terrorists. Looking at it now takes me back to another life. A life where I felt invincible. Where the only thing I cared about was going back to war, so much so that I ruined a marriage to an amazing lady. War had already changed me by the time this photo was taken. It made me tough. It made me resultant.
From 2007 to 2014 I deployed to combat six times. I experienced killing the enemy, getting blown up in vehicles, carrying injured and dead brothers, nearly getting beaten to death in Jacksonville Florida, a divorce, and accidentally taking the life of a child. That is the man in this first picture, even if you cannot see any of it on his face.
The second picture is me today. Healing. Evolving. Helping others as much as I can through God. Same man, two very different stages of life.
Yesterday I had a phone interview with Wesley Morgan, an officer who wrote The Hardest Place, a book about the American war in the Pech Valley of Afghanistan and the men who fought there. In it, Eric Cox gives his account of being shot in the face on the same mission where Kevin Pape was killed.
When Wes first reached out I told him straight up, I had no valorous awards, no Purple Heart, and was an average Ranger on my best day. I told him I had a lot of cool friends who did some heroic stuff I could put him in touch with instead. He said he wanted the point of view of an enlisted guy who went from the big Army to Ranger Battalion during the surge, and I fit that mold.
He wanted to start with what made me enlist. I am not sure he was ready to hear I had a God moment on an L*D trip π€ͺ, but that is where we started. Walking back through six deployments with every detail I could remember made me cry, made me laugh, and made me grateful I got to serve alongside giants. Men who are the epitome of what a warrior is.
He asked if I could find pictures from that time in my life. I told him I virtually have none. I hit up Devon Swanson, and he found this gem.
All the love. His love. One love. πΊπΈπͺ’ππ¦ππ½