05/17/2026
Is this what “not sparing the rod” means?
A lot of people grew up in homes where getting hit was treated like normal discipline.
Not for danger.
Not for protection.
Not for serious correction.
For everything.
Wrong tone.
Wrong answer.
Embarrassing a parent in public.
Moving too slow.
Crying too much.
Asking too many questions.
Having emotions adults didn’t want to deal with.
Some children got hit because the parent was angry, overwhelmed, embarrassed, triggered, stressed, or simply didn’t know another way.
And somewhere along the line, many people attached that behavior to scripture.
“Spare the rod, spoil the child.”
But is that really what the verse meant?
Because discipline and uncontrolled anger are not the same thing.
Correction and humiliation are not the same thing.
Fear and respect are not the same thing.
A child learning right from wrong is one thing.
A child living in fear of making normal mistakes is another.
A lot of adults are now unpacking childhoods where they were told the hitting was love, the yelling was correction, and the fear was respect.
Some people were not being guided.
They were being overpowered.
And many of the same adults who defend it today still struggle with emotional regulation, communication, vulnerability, boundaries, and anger themselves.
And the phrase “spare the rod, spoil the child” is actually a popular paraphrase people say, not the exact Bible verse wording.
“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.”
— Proverbs 13:24 (NIV)
Discipline is the practice of teaching, training, guiding, or correcting behavior in order to develop self control, responsibility, or understanding.
At its core, discipline is supposed to be about:
guidance
teaching
correction
structure
learning consequences
Not rage.
Not humiliation.
Not intimidation.
Discipline is supposed to teach, not just punish.
