The Center for Gay Self-Realization

The Center for Gay Self-Realization The monthly Club meetings are the only activity currently sponsored by Treeroots.

The Center represents a community of homosexual-loving activists aiming to change the world, starting within, through intensive transparent psychological alchemy to realize our best gay potentials.

06/14/2026

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06/14/2026

ANCIENT PHILIPPINE CREATION MYTH: THE LEGEND OF THE THREE RACES

In the beginning, the great god Kabunian decided that he was lonely. He came up with the idea of shaping a man out of clay that he could bring to life and talk to. He would then be able to put man in charge of the other beings on the Earth every now and then. He decided that he would make the clay man look like himself.

He took some clay from the Earth, molded it into the shape of a man, and then placed it inside his oven. While he waited for the clay man to solidify, he toured the Earth and amused himself, but alas, Kabunian lost all track of time.

When he remembered that he had left something in the oven longer than was ought, his first clay man was all burnt already. It was black as coal all over and its hair curled tightly from the heat. Kabunian thought it a grand creation anyway, and therefore breathed life into it. But it was not yet the kind of man he wanted at the start.

So, Kabunian, decided to give it another try. He placed his second clay man into the oven. But this time, Kabunian became so eager to see what would come out, and he brought the clay man out while it was not yet fully baked. The second clay man was so pale that now we would call it raw, but it was solid enough. Kabunian liked it well, and he then breathed life into it. But, it was still not yet the kind of man he wanted at the start.

At his third and final try, Kabunian resolved to be careful. He guarded the time while his third clay man baked to perfection. When his clay man was finally drawn from the oven it was a perfect brown, its hair was straight and dark, and there was laughter in its cheeks. Kabunian loved this third clay man, and happily breathed life into it.

But in the end Kabunian came to love the three Races of Man equally. He began to encourage the three Races to get along - for the truth is they had all come from the same clay, and are therefore brothers.

06/02/2026

Hey Gay-Centered Inner Workers!
I feel compelled to share with you a view of the state of the world through a gay-centered psychoanalytic lens as there is so much going on politically, socially, economically, environmentally, technologically, etc., that it can feel completely overwhelming to try to seriously address it all. What with the inconceivably obscene level of corruption and destruction, our planetary eco-system’s excruciatingly painful, tragic destruction, and things seeming to get more brutal and fascist. Of course, there are glimmers of hope in poll numbers and lots of people speaking up, protesting, and sacrificing.
But even still, even if we vote, protest, conserve, fight against the totalitarian state as best we can –if we let ourselves truly feel the depths of our emotions, all that’s going on can feel absolutely terrifying, horrifying, painful, scary, destabilizing, depressing (I invite you to supportively contribute with your own experiences!).
It seems to me though, if viewed with that gay-centered lens, like Harry Hay’s gay window, there must be meaning and purpose in this incredible historical moment, that there exists this remarkable gay-centered inner work grassroots community in which a dedicated group of individuals progressively perseveres in the face of such existential dread to wake up to their own unique subjectivity, personhood, self-hood, as distinct from the conformist pressures of the larger heteronormative Matrix society.
I see that with many of those I work with it is hard to recognize this apparently insignificant, seemingly innocuous endeavor as the revolutionary phenomenon that it actually is, at least potentially.
It’s hard to remember to look through that lens and try to see how amazingly beautiful, not to mention as especially relevant for upcoming Pride month, to celebrate Homosexual Deity, Uranian Eros, LOVE, as the internal loadstone, the foundational compass to orient our hero’s journey and so affect the world through the transformational, reverberating effect of inner relations.
That would be, to relate, in my case as I write this moment, to memories of dreams I’ve been having, as well as memories of how I was shaped growing up in my heteronormative environment, to my generational roots, to inspiring insights into the complex, structural trauma I suffered, not to mention to the isolated PTSD experiences throughout my life in this harsh world, then I imagine expelling that internalized violence through bludgeoning my well-meaning caretakers, strangling, eviscerating, cruelly, sociopathically, and so momentarily integrate such taboo, split-off, repressed parts of the dark side of my gay psyche, to then alchemically implement the new birth and growth of my inner lover, to open the doorway to, as Mitch talks about in Visionary Love, ROIKA, and the jewel-like wonders of over-the-rainbow Self-Being.
Then, after getting in touch with and traversing such soulful, imaginational places, it’s back to our normal, default state of merger with Trumpian unconsciousness. And I ponder the rhetorical question of how we break out, moment by moment, of such normal irresponsible merger with the unconsciously dissociative collective mentality in which we all sinisterly collude with and enable the apparently unstoppable malfeance going on?
Which question brings me back to the idea of subjective self-awakening, psychoanalytically, as gay, and how we arguably as gay-centered psychoanalytic activists are inheritors of this uniquely precious practice coming out of a long legacy of extraordinary gay liberation activists, including Mitch Walker, Harry Hay, Walt Whitman, Karl Ulrichs, Plato, and Sappho, and stretching back further through the first stirrings of our shamanic traditions in the dawn of human existence.
With such a gay-centered window we might see how such a precious inheritance is now being honed by each of you members of our marginal crew as we live our day-to-day lives right smack in the midst of this truly extraordinary age in which the magnificent potential of human consciousness seems to teeter precariously against the seemingly insurmountable insatiable patriarchal nihilistic brutishness that pervades the world.
I write this on the cusp-beginning of Gemini, the month of the Twins, the Double, LGBT Pride month, at the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, Ganymede, Zeus’s beloved nectar-bearer, which in my mind leads again back to the question: What does it take to personally Self-awaken, to break the spell of dissociative, unconscious collusion with the heteronormative groupthink and work to create a new evolutionarily-developed psychologically-minded consciousness that possibly through an as-yet unimaginably, perhaps infinitely powerful, magickal power may someday flourish – if only we can believe, like Bastian in the Never Ending Story; is it self-will, or is it perhaps some greater, profound gay spirit force at work, or some fantastic combination, which will ultimately prevail as the old Piscean age inevitably recedes, and all we have to do is our best to help facilitate its rise, moment by moment through the practice of gay-centered alchemical psychology?
Se you soon!
Chris Kilbourne

Hey Gay-Centered Inner Workers!I feel compelled to share with you a view of the state of the world through a gay-centere...
05/23/2026

Hey Gay-Centered Inner Workers!

I feel compelled to share with you a view of the state of the world through a gay-centered psychoanalytic lens as there is so much going on politically, socially, economically, environmentally, technologically, etc., that it can feel completely overwhelming to try to seriously address it all. What with the inconceivably obscene level of corruption and destruction, our planetary eco-system’s excruciatingly painful, tragic destruction, and things seeming to get more brutal and fascist. Of course, there are glimmers of hope in poll numbers and lots of people speaking up, protesting, and sacrificing.

But even still, even if we vote, protest, conserve, fight against the totalitarian state as best we can –if we let ourselves truly feel the depths of our emotions, all that’s going on can feel absolutely terrifying, horrifying, painful, scary, destabilizing, depressing (I invite you to supportively contribute with your own experiences!).

It seems to me though, if viewed with that gay-centered lens, like Harry Hay’s gay window, there must be meaning and purpose in this incredible historical moment, that there exists this remarkable gay-centered inner work grassroots community in which a dedicated group of individuals progressively perseveres in the face of such existential dread to wake up to their own unique subjectivity, personhood, self-hood, as distinct from the conformist pressures of the larger heteronormative Matrix society.

I see that with many of those I work with it is hard to recognize this apparently insignificant, seemingly innocuous endeavor as the revolutionary phenomenon that it actually is, at least potentially.

It’s hard to remember to look through that lens and try to see how amazingly beautiful, not to mention as especially relevant for upcoming Pride month, to celebrate Homosexual Deity, Uranian Eros, LOVE, as the internal loadstone, the foundational compass to orient our hero’s journey and so affect the world through the transformational, reverberating effect of inner relations.

That would be, to relate, in my case as I write this moment, to memories of dreams I’ve been having, as well as memories of how I was shaped growing up in my heteronormative environment, to my generational roots, to inspiring insights into the complex, structural trauma I suffered, not to mention to the isolated PTSD experiences throughout my life in this harsh world, then I imagine expelling that internalized violence through bludgeoning my well-meaning caretakers, strangling, eviscerating, cruelly, sociopathically, and so momentarily integrate such taboo, split-off, repressed parts of the dark side of my gay psyche, to then alchemically implement the new birth and growth of my inner lover, to open the doorway to, as Mitch talks about in Visionary Love, ROIKA, and the jewel-like wonders of over-the-rainbow Self-Being.

Then, after getting in touch with and traversing such soulful, imaginational places, it’s back to our normal, default state of merger with Trumpian unconsciousness. And I ponder the rhetorical question of how we break out, moment by moment, of such normal irresponsible merger with the unconsciously dissociative collective mentality in which we all sinisterly collude with and enable the apparently unstoppable malfeance going on?

Which question brings me back to the idea of subjective self-awakening, psychoanalytically, as gay, and how we arguably as gay-centered psychoanalytic activists are inheritors of this uniquely precious practice coming out of a long legacy of extraordinary gay liberation activists, including Mitch Walker, Harry Hay, Walt Whitman, Karl Ulrichs, Plato, and Sappho, and stretching back further through the first stirrings of our shamanic traditions in the dawn of human existence.

With such a gay-centered window we might see how such a precious inheritance is now being honed by each of you members of our marginal crew as we live our day-to-day lives right smack in the midst of this truly extraordinary age in which the magnificent potential of human consciousness seems to teeter precariously against the seemingly insurmountable insatiable patriarchal nihilistic brutishness that pervades the world.

I write this on the cusp-beginning of Gemini, the month of the Twins, the Double, LGBT Pride month, at the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, Ganymede, Zeus’s beloved nectar-bearer, which in my mind leads again back to the question: What does it take to personally Self-awaken, to break the spell of dissociative, unconscious collusion with the heteronormative groupthink and work to create a new evolutionarily-developed psychologically-minded consciousness that possibly through an as-yet unimaginably, perhaps infinitely powerful, magickal power may someday flourish – if only we can believe, like Bastian in the Never Ending Story; is it self-will, or is it perhaps some greater, profound gay spirit force at work, or some fantastic combination, which will ultimately prevail as the old Piscean age inevitably recedes, and all we have to do is our best to help facilitate its rise, moment by moment through the practice of gay-centered alchemical psychology?

See you in two weeks!
Chris

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