10/13/2026
****Making the Connection Archives Series****
Every Tuesday, we are revisiting a past Making the Connection column originally published in the Cuthbert Southern Tribune. Since 2008, the weekly reflections have explored leadership, family community, and the lessons that connect us all.
This week's archived column is entitled "How We Treat People You Think You Don't Need " by Dr. Kuanita E. Murphy, Published September 17, 2026
Someone once said, “You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat people they think they don’t need.” That statement has remained with me over the years because it reveals something important about character. It is easy to be respectful toward people who hold influence, possess resources, or can open doors for us. The true test is how we treat those whom we believe have nothing to offer us.
We are not going to agree with everyone. Everybody is not going to like us, and, truth be told, we are not going to like everybody either. Personalities clash. Opinions differ. Relationships sometimes become strained. Nevertheless, disagreement does not give us permission to mistreat, disrespect, or belittle another person. We should make every effort to treat people with dignity and respect—not because of their position or what they might be able to do for us, but simply because it is the right thing to do.
Years ago, I knew a young woman who was between jobs and needed assistance finding employment. She needed someone who could provide a referral or recommendation. Without hesitation, I reached out to people I knew and did what I could to help her.
At the time, I did not know whether she would get the job. I did not consider whether she might someday be in a position to return the favor. I simply saw someone who needed a helping hand, and I offered the assistance I could provide.
She was eventually hired by an organization that invested in community programs and provided funding for local projects. Sometime later, I submitted a proposal for a pilot project to that organization. I had no idea that this young woman was involved in the proposal-review process.
Our project was ultimately selected for funding. Afterward, I learned that she had been one of the people reviewing the proposals and had recommended that the organization support our project. She remembered me. More importantly, she remembered that I had been willing to assist her during a time when she needed encouragement and an opportunity.
Life had brought the relationship full circle. I did not help her because I expected to receive something in return. In fact, I had no way of knowing where her next opportunity would lead. Later, when she found herself in a position to support meaningful work in the community, she chose to pay forward the kindness she remembered receiving.
That experience taught me an important lesson: we never know how life will unfold or when our paths will cross again. Positions change. Circumstances change. The person seeking an opportunity today may be sitting at a decision-making table tomorrow. Life has a way of rearranging the seating chart when we least expect it.
Still, we must be careful not to turn kindness into a transaction. Treating people well is not a clever strategy for collecting future favors. We should not help others merely because they may become useful to us. People deserve dignity and respect even if they are never able to do anything for us in return.
This lesson has followed me throughout my years of working with Randolph County Family Connection. Community work brings us into contact with people from every walk of life—elected officials, agency representatives, educators, parents, volunteers, young people, and residents who may never hold an official title or sit at the head of a table.
Over the years, I have learned that every person matters. Someone who quietly attends a meeting today may become the volunteer who keeps an event running tomorrow. A parent who shares a concern may help us recognize a need that statistics failed to reveal. A young person who is given an opportunity to speak may offer the very idea that the adults in the room have been struggling to find.
Sometimes the person with the least impressive title has the clearest understanding of what a community truly needs. Family Connection is built on the understanding that lasting community change requires relationships, trust, and collaboration. We cannot claim that we want to strengthen families while dismissing the voices and experiences of the people who make up those families. Programs, funding, and strategic plans are important, but relationships are the true infrastructure of a community. Without trust and mutual respect, even the best plans will carry us only so far.
After more than two decades in community work, I have watched people move into different positions and seasons of life. I have seen doors close and others open. I have also seen people who were once overlooked become strong advocates, dependable volunteers, and valuable community partners.
Titles are temporary. Positions change. Influence can disappear as quickly as it arrives. Character, however, follows us wherever we go. Pay attention to how people treat restaurant workers, custodians, receptionists, volunteers, older adults, children, and those who cannot advance their careers or improve their social standing. It is easy to be courteous to the person whose name appears on the door. The real test is how we treat the person who holds the door open.
We never know when a simple act of kindness will encourage someone, open an opportunity, or begin a relationship that eventually benefits an entire community. Therefore, let us treat people well—not because we may need them someday, but because every person deserves to be treated as though they matter. Because they do. —
