10/02/2026
It’s not that far off.
"My evaluation says 'Reply hazy.' So does my raise." — Michael P.
ORACLEBROOK UNIFIED SCHOOL DISTRICT — The district retired its $1.2 million, 62-indicator teacher evaluation framework Monday and issued each of its 14 principals an $8.99 Magic 8 Ball, with a one-page manual instructing them to ask "Is this teacher effective?" and shake once. Officials praised it as the first evaluation system in district history to deliver a rating in under nine seconds.
Fourth-grade teacher Mr. Pomeranz drew "Reply hazy, try again" on all three of his observations and has been placed on an improvement plan targeting clarity. "It's the first instrument we've used that admits what it doesn't know," said assistant superintendent Mr. Croake, confirming appeals are heard by the same ball, best two out of three. Pilot data showed the ball matched the old framework's ratings 96 percent of the time at a savings of $1.19 million.
Teacher of the Year now requires a "Without a doubt," which has yet to appear.