06/30/2026
You want to know why a part of me will always grieve losing our only child? Just watch this. đź’”
This was the last time I saw Athena standing in front of me & heard her say, “I love you,” in person.
I didn’t know it then, but this would become one of the moments I’d replay in my mind for years.
Every “I love you” after this was through FaceTime… right before what was supposed to be a routine port removal procedure that changed our lives forever.
People often ask if the grief ever goes away.
The truth is, I’ve healed in so many ways. I’ve found joy again, found my purpose again, & I smile more than I cry these days.
But healing doesn’t mean I’ve stopped loving her. It doesn’t mean I’ve stopped missing her. It certainly doesn’t mean I’ve moved on.
It simply means I’ve learned how to carry both joy & grief in the same heart.
Losing Athena taught me that the ordinary moments are never ordinary.
Her bedtime routines, her little hands reaching for mine, the endless “Mom!”, her laughs, cuddle time with her, the chaos.
One day, those moments become memories you’d give anything to experience just one more time.
Every June 30th, I climb to the top of a mountain & scream her name into the heavens.
This year, I won’t be standing atop.
But no mountain has ever been high enough to measure a mother’s love.
So today, wherever I am, I’ll still say your name, celebrate your life, thank God for the gift of being your Mommy Clau, & still miss you with every part of my heart.
I love you, Athena.
Until we meet again. 🌹
