10/05/2026
TO: Diesel
RE: Immediate removal from the premises
CAUSE: Irreconcilable differences with chaos and the fact that one Great Dane somehow occupies the same amount of space as a baby elephant.
Diesel, buddy, I love you.
You're hilarious. You're handsome. You're actually a fantastic dog.
But you have GOT to go.
And underneath the humor, I'm completely serious: Diesel needs a foster immediately.
Diesel's latest contribution to my rapidly deteriorating sanity was helping turn my laptop into a weapon of mass destruction during a dog commotion/coffee/laptop catastrophe that ended with one dead computer and me buying a new one that was DEFINITELY not on this week's bingo card.
Funny now.
Wasn't particularly funny then as I was 1,000 pages deep in work. 😂😭
But that incident drove home something I already knew:
Diesel cannot stay in this environment.
And I really want to explain that correctly, because Diesel is NOT an aggressive dog by nature.
In the right home, he's actually a pretty damn easy dog.
He's goofy, affectionate, funny and perfectly content to lounge around with his person while occupying a completely unreasonable percentage of the couch.
What Diesel is NOT good at is chaos.
And unfortunately, there's enough personality in my house already — Clark Kent alone accounts for the personality of approximately six dogs.
Diesel has had an issue causing him to be severely underweight that we've been working with our vet to correct, so he does have resource guarding around food. That's something that needs to be managed appropriately and taken seriously.
He's also a dog who reacts to commotion.
Dogs roughhousing? Diesel thinks he should intervene.
Dogs getting into it? Diesel thinks he should intervene.
And apparently children roughhousing falls under his jurisdiction, too.
He previously went to a foster home and was doing wonderfully until two of the boys started play sword fighting. Diesel intervened by grabbing one boy's arm. The boy naturally pulled his arm away, and with a Great Dane mouth and ginormous teeth, that resulted in a puncture and tear.
It wasn't an attack because if it was, just his mouth size/arm comparison, major damage would have been done.
But it WAS an important lesson about the kind of environment Diesel needs.
And seriously, when I say ginormous teeth, the last time he enthusiastically took a treat from my hand, I checked afterward to make sure I still had all my fingers.
His canine is practically the size of my pointer finger. 😂
When you're dealing with a dog this big, things that might be relatively minor with a 20-pound dog can become a much bigger deal simply because HE'S HUGE.
Diesel can potentially live with another dog as he's fine with my personal dogs and my foster dog, but that needs to be with a cautious, experienced owner who understands dog behavior and knows how to manage introductions, food, high-value items and interactions.
What I would LOVE to find for him, though?
❤️ An easygoing, peaceful, non-chaotic home without children under say 14ish years old or other dogs.
Not because Diesel is some horrible dog who needs to live in solitary confinement.
Quite the opposite.
I want to see who Diesel gets to be when he doesn't have anything to worry about.
No dogs wrestling across the living room.
No little dog deciding today is the day she's going to challenge a Great Dane.
Nobody approaching his dinner.
No kids roughhousing.
No constant stimulation making him feel like he needs to pay attention to what's happening around him.
Just Diesel.
A couch.
A human.
Some snacks — delivered with all fingers tucked safely away. 😂
And peace.
Because right now I'm having to manage him far too much simply because of the environment he's in. That means he gets cooped up more than he should, the other dogs feel the tension, and everyone ends up more on edge.
That's not fair to Diesel. It's not fair to the other dogs. And it's not sustainable.
So while I'm calling this his eviction notice and trying to laugh because that's how I survive rescue...
I genuinely need help.
📄 DIESEL'S OFFICIAL EVICTION NOTICE
Reason for eviction: Irreconcilable differences with chaos.
Ideal forwarding address: A quiet home where the biggest daily crisis is deciding who gets the good spot on the couch.
Deadline to vacate: YESTERDAY.
Diesel is a really, really good dog.
He just needs us to stop asking him to be a good dog in an environment that isn't good for him.
If you can foster Diesel, please message me.
And if you can't, PLEASE SHARE HIM.
Somewhere out there is the peaceful household of Diesel's dreams. P.S. He loves to play and trot around outside. He's not like a big old man, but he does not do well with chaos.
I desperately need your help finding it. ❤️🐾
Barking Back Rescue
🌐 www.barking-back.org