30/05/2026
Rooipoint Farm Parkrun Report: Event 151 – Milestones, muddy dams, and a rogue blackjack stalk.
Date: 30 May 2026
Weather: Cloudy and cool. With a slight bite in the air and a sky of low clouds, the morning proved to be perfect for the Rooipoint Farm Parkrun. A lot of milestones, some PBs, and oranges, Nik-Naks, and popcorn tempting everyone to get back to the finish line like a pack of sugar-deprived hyenas.
Total Finishers: 66 happy, smiling parkrunners. That's 66 people who chose this over a warm bed. Either brave or stupid. Probably both.
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Greetings, my fellow runners, walkers, volunteers, and those that were missing out today.
Thankfully, I was not away this weekend as it has been for much of May. And how could I miss a milestone at Rooipoint? I've been gone so often lately, people were starting to think I was a ghost writer. Or just a ghost.
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Announcements
Rob took the reigns this week as RD and greeted all present. Visitors were welcomed, milestones were noted, and nobody lost the finish funnel. A roaring success.
Harris ran around making sure many pictures were taken with our parkrun frame. If you didn't get a photo, were you even there? (Spoiler: no. No you were not.)
We all lined up. The timer clicked. The chickens watched. The hill waited.
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Visitors & First Timers
A warm welcome to our first-timers and visitors to Rooipoint:
• Jonathan – an ex-Grey Goose parkrunner returns to join the fold at Rooipoint for the first time. Welcome back! And that with a new PB? Nice. Grey Goose who? We don't know her.
• Brent – Visiting us again from Pretoria. Welcome back, Brent. We see you've come to test your legs against our hill once more. Glutton for punishment? We respect that.
"A visitor is just a local who hasn't realised yet that the hill gets harder every time you come back. It's not you. It's the hill. The hill remembers."
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Milestones
• 300 – Fanie – Reaching 3x what I have. At least for 8 minutes and 9 seconds today, I was only 199 parkruns behind you. Now I'm back to 200 behind again. Maths is cruel. Well done, Fanie. That's 1,500 km of parkruns. That's like running from Rooipoint to… somewhere very far. Possibly England. Possibly just to the top of the hill and back 300 times. Same pain level.
• 250 – Alida – I am confused. The stats say 251, but you waved the 250 banner today. Either way, that is a fantastic milestone. Go, go, go! Just 50 behind Fanie. The race is on. We'll provide snacks.
• 150 – Jackie – Let the world know with a balloon. Literally. Somewhere it is floating high up in the clouds… well, until it popped. Jackie, your balloon may have died, but your milestone lives forever. Rest in peace, brave balloon.
• 100 – Wayne – Your reporter finally reached another milestone and finally joins the three-figure group. That on the same day that a certain parkrunner in England became the first person to reach 1,000 parkruns. So one of us (thousands) into the 3 figures, and one out of the 3 figures into the 4 figures on the same day. Crazy. I'm basically famous. Locally. In my own head. More on the 1000 Park run guy below.
• 25 – Cecil and Mamello – Both get their first milestones today too. Welcome to the banner-waving club. Congrats. Those milestones are cool. The banners are heavy. Wrist strength training starts now.
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The Unknowns
Number of unknown runners today: 9
Nine. That's not a handful. That's a plague.
Speculation on their identities:
1. Barcode still warmly under the duvet at home. Possibly having a better morning than you.
2. The Britney Spears – "Oops, I did it again" – forgotten barcode at home. Britney, we love you, but please.
3. "I don't have a printer and cannot print out my barcode!" – You know it's easy enough to save it as a photo on your phone, right? Right???
4. "I'm not registered and don't have one!" – Hey. You were here. You ran. You sweated. You possibly cried on the hill. Register already. It's free. It takes 2 minutes. You've wasted more time picking blackjack thorns off your socks.
"Not registering for parkrun is like going to a buffet and refusing a plate. Technically you can eat with your hands, but everyone is judging you, and you get nothing at the end."
Reminder: Register! It's free, it's easy, and it stops us from making up embarrassing nicknames for you.
👉 Register here: http://www.parkrun.co.za/register
We've already named one of you "Barcodeless Barry." You know who you are. And to the other eight: "Mystery Mielie," "No-Scan Nancy," "Phantom of the Funnel," and "The Great Escaped Prisoner of Rooipoint" are currently in contention. Don't let it be you.
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Course Conditions Report
The grass was cut. It was short, and it was a pleasure to run on clear paths.
Well… until a blackjack stalk got stuck to my sock. I promptly ran with a plant being dragged along for 3 km. That slowed me down by 37 seconds… Just joking. It probably didn't slow me down at all. But that was my excuse for not getting a PB today. And I'm sticking to it. Unlike the blackjack, which stuck to everything.
Also, a dam overflowed a little, causing mayhem in May with an unexpected muddy patch. Gingerly stepping along the side, I heard a few moans as socks got slightly damp. I grumbled under my breath about a second or two affecting a PB. My socks grumbled back.
The slag that was there might have been slightly washed away… Oops. I wonder if the municipality that seems to be doing pothole filling could help out paving the road here? Hmmm. High hopes. It would probably cost 2 million anyway. We will stick with the mud dance, me thinks.
The hill is still there. However, this proved to be less of an issue for me. I caught and passed Abby there on the way out, but with my wobbly knee, she passed me on the other side. The hill giveth, and the hill taketh away.
The mission to flatten it is still on. Get those numbers, people. I am sure if we have a lot more runners, we will have it flattened by 2047. Put it in your diaries. Bring a spade.
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PB Bell Ringing Society
The PB Bell was not very active today, but still, we had some victories. Quality over quantity, people.
• Mtho – 23:27 – Flying off from the start, the man was on a mission. He was, however, forgetting the way almost at the top of the hill. Thankfully, Pierre advised him on the correct route. New event PB! Well done. Also, thank you, Pierre, for your service to navigation.
• Jonathan – 36:38 – First timer at Rooipoint and gets an overall PB. That Grey Goose time is a thing of the past. Congrats! We've converted you. The farm welcomes you.
• Bianca – 37:29 – Smashing the previous PB by over 2 minutes. Great running. You got this. The hill is scared.
• Henry – 38:04 – 4 PBs in a row out of 4 parkruns. FOUR. We applaud you, sir. That is great. That is also suspicious. Are you even trying anymore, or are you just naturally getting faster while the rest of us age?
• Minenhle – 39:14 – Another run and another PB. Might not have worked out last month, but you got it this time. Well done. Persistence pays. And so does eating a Chelsea bun right before.
• Carla – 49:29 and Chris – 49:30 – Both getting new Rooipoint PBs. Well done. Teamwork to the end. Great stuff. One second apart? That's either romance or rivalry. We're not sure.
• Corrie – 51:54 – Another overall PB. Excellent. Keep it up. You're getting faster while I'm over here collecting blackjacks.
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Top 10 Finishers
1. Pierre – 21:58 – A fantastic run. Leaving everyone else in his dust. We determined before the start: we all have Pierre Pressure when we run at Rooipoint. He casually passed me before the hill, said "Enjoy your run," and motored away. Cheeky. But thanks. I did enjoy it. From far behind.
2. Mtho – 23:37 – The almost-lost-but-for-Pierre's-direction-affirmation runs away from all but Pierre. Well done. Next time, bring a map. Or just follow Pierre.
3. Abigail – 25:21 – Just ran ahead of me all the way. She was like the carrot to my donkey. Just a few paces ahead. All the way. Thanks for the pacing, Abby. I didn't catch you, but I appreciated the tow.
4. Wayne – 25:42 – Milestone run with a bit of ambition at the start. Set the watch for a 25-minute run. But the downhills are not easy on a wonky leg. Still not going to complain. It was a great run and under 26 minutes. Also, no blackjacks were harmed, …. Well not until the finish.
5. Ralph – 27:00 – Auditioned for the role of the Big Bad Wolf. "I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow the competition away." Ralph, you got the part. The pigs are worried.
6. Mardy – 27:15 – Held off Ralph for a while… but that 3 km mark is where Ralph makes his move. Great run, though. The low 27-minute times are consistent. You got this. 26 minutes is calling. Answer the phone.
7. Deena – 27:17 – Being the gentleman and letting Mardy cross the line first. Secretly trying desperately to keep up. I know. I have been there. The gentleman's struggle is real.
8. Colin – 29:31 – Making good on keeping the sub-30-minute runs count. Colin is the king of consistency. Boring? No. Admirable? Yes.
9. Brent – 30:26 – Visiting from Pretoria side. Another run at Rooipoint. Needs to test our hill again. Brent, how did it compare to last time? Worse? Good. That's the spirit.
10. David – 31:14 – Good time. I think the hill was also a bit easier after the Cannibal's Cave run earlier in the month. Those hills are a bit harder. David, if you survive Cannibal's Cave, you can survive anything. Even my writing.
Note: With Joan and Jo away, we have new names here. Well, sort of. The throne is temporarily vacant. Long live the temporary king.
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Age-Graded Champions
1. Pierre – 69.35% – A good run today pushed the grading up. Pierre is chasing 70% like I'm chasing a sub-25. We're both delusional. But hopeful.
2. Wayne – 60.83% – How did I get here? I'm 25??? (In my head. In my knees, I'm 85.)
3. Ralph – 60.43% – Showing the younger generation how it's done. Ralph, you're a national treasure. Keep the receipt.
"The top 10 is like a box of chocolates – mostly nuts, a few surprises, and one guy who definitely walked the hill when no one was looking."
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Volunteers Shoutout
A big thank you to all our volunteers. Each week we run, we have you to thank for your continued support.
You stood in the cold so we could run and get warm. You clicked timers, handed out tokens, scanned barcodes (except for the nine unknowns – you know who you are), closed gates (though you all forgot to put the alarm on – the chickens could have escaped!), and pointed out that somewhere in the bag was an orange with a hole in it.
(No, Pat, it isn't in there anymore. I found the said orange with my thumb stuck inside. It was a traumatic experience for all involved. The orange didn't make it.)
"Volunteers are like the dam wall at Rooipoint – slightly leaking, occasionally overwhelmed, but absolutely essential to stop everything from falling apart."
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Thank You to the Watson Family
Thank you to the Watson family for allowing us to trample your beautiful farm every weekend.
• The grass was short.
• The mielies offered hiding places (we saw you, walkers).
• The chickens were nowhere to be seen – did they become chicken soup? We're afraid to ask.
• The cows – did they moooove to another pasture?
• The dam, however, did some overflowing. Our feet got muddy.
• But through the chicken wire, I hear a dam was opened up elsewhere… Hmmmm. Conspiracy? Water theft? Or just farming? We may never know.
• Oh, the hill. Still there. Hurting legs and spirits.
Thank you. 😊
"A farm parkrun is the only place where 'watch out for the dam overflow' is a legitimate course condition, 'the chickens are quiet' is considered good news, and 'the hill is still there' is delivered with the same solemn tone as a weather warning."
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Thank You to Sponsors
• Perfect Water – for keeping us hydrated. I sure hope others remembered to fuel up along the route. We dehydrate even in cold weather. You think you're fine, and then BAM – cramp city. Population: you. Drink up, you beautiful raisins.
• Vitality – for making sure we get points in a fun way that doesn't feel like homework. Unlike actual homework, which still gives us nightmares about forgotten assignments. Apparently those points can be used for coffee. Mmmm. Coffee. The real reason we run.
• Dischem – apparently running a promotion on sports products this weekend. Does it end soon? Asking for a friend. That friend is my knee. My knee needs a sale. My knee is also considering a payment plan for all the muscle rub I've been through. Please sponsor me directly. I have no shame.
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Wishing you all a fantastic new week ahead. Keep well, keep safe, keep fit.
And remember: the hill is still there. The blackjacks are waiting. The dam might flood again. But we'll be back. Because we're either dedicated or insane. Probably both.
Your slightly muddy, PB-free, blackjack-collecting, 100-parkrun-strong reporter
Wayne 🏃♂️🌾💧🐔
🏁 DARREN WOOD — 1,000 PARKRUNS: THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND (WHO CLEARLY HAS NO OTHER PLANS ON SATURDAY MORNINGS)
ROOIPOINT PARKRUN DAILY – 30 May 2026
In what can only be described as a shocking lack of impulse control, Darren Wood (43, Carshalton, and apparently retired from life itself) today became the first human being on planet Earth to complete 1,000 parkruns.
That's right. One thousand.
For context, that's more Saturday mornings than most marriages survive.
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🏃 Where It All Began (And Why He Was Too Nervous to Show Up First)
Contrary to local legend, Darren did not run the very first parkrun back in October 2004. Why? Because he thought he wasn't "fast enough" for a time trial. Classic newbie energy.
He finally showed up for Event #2 at Bushy Park on 9 October 2004, probably still wearing cotton shorts and carrying a water bottle like a tourist. And the rest, as they say, is repetitive history.
Since then, he's run at 120 different locations across nine countries — including, let's be honest, at least 900 of those runs being within 10km of his house because he forgot his coffee mug.
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🎯 A Long History of Having No Chill
Darren didn't just stumble into 1,000. Oh no. He's been first to every single milestone like some kind of parkrun hoarder.
• 100 runs (2007) – First ever. Got a black fleece. Probably wore it to bed.
• 250 runs – First again. Started getting awkward questions from his neighbours.
• 500 runs (28 March 2015) – First. Blue t-shirt. Celebrated by immediately signing up for the next one.
• 1,000 runs (30 May 2026) – First. Yellow t-shirt, cape, crown, and a slightly concerning lack of knee cartilage.
At this point, parkrun HQ just texts him the new milestone shirts directly.
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🎉 Today at Morden Parkrun
Hundreds turned up to watch Darren cross the line for #1,000. There was a guard of honour from his club, Sutton Runners. There was a cape. There was a crown. There were definitely a few people muttering "hasn't he got gardening to do?"
Darren, emotional but still somehow in Zone 2 heart rate, said:
"Parkrun helped me through mental health struggles and gave me community."
Which is lovely. But let's be real — at 1,000 runs, it's also given him a free lifetime supply of post-run coffee and the ability to answer "what are you doing Saturday?" with a single death stare.
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🍊 A Note from Rooipoint Parkrun
Here at Rooipoint, we salute Darren's achievement. We also note that our local record is still 492 runs (William, who "would have had more if Bushy park was closer").
So Darren, if you're reading this: you're welcome at Rooipoint anytime. Just know our funnel is short, our coffee is instant, and someone's dog will definitely try to steal your cape.
1,000 runs, Darren.
Now please. Go buy some new socks. Yours have earned a rest.
parkrun is free and you only need to register once, regardless of how many different events you visit and whether you intend to walk, jog, run, volunteer or do a combination.
