05/12/2025
Many times during the 16 days of activism we are really just preaching to the converted. Women are, for the most part, the victims of abuse and the perpetrators of the abuse are men. Yet we direct our communication towards supporting women, which is really the same words each year, giving support to women, which of course is vital, but we are not actually addressing the problem. The problem is men in need and we are not communicating with men. We need a different approach, and here it is:
Prevention, through support of and creating positive masculinity. GBV doesn’t begin at the moment someone is harmed. Its roots are far deeper, shaped by gender norms, emotional illiteracy, mental health struggles, shame, and an absence of safe, healthy models of masculinity. From a gender health perspective, we need to stand for a world where the driving forces behind Gender Based Violence (GBV) are addressed long before violence occurs.
That means:
Supporting men throughout their lives, not only after harm has been done which is then too late. Many men (this starts at childhood) grow up without adequate tools to regulate emotions, without having a place to ask for help, or to express vulnerability, or to build healthy intimacy in a relationship, be that friendship, family relationship or intimate relationship. We need to change that.
To do so we need to:
Encourage positive, healthy masculinity. Masculinity is a valid, healthy and vital part of a well functioning society, if it is expressed in a healthy way. Not the “toughen up and cope alone” model, but grounded, respectful masculinity rooted in empathy, emotional awareness, and accountability. This doesn't mean soft and weak men, it means strong and capable men, but who are able to be gentle, kind, considerate, helpful and able to take responsibility for all of their actions.
When men are supported with coping strategies, self-awareness, and healthier methods for dealing with stress, relationships, and sexuality, the ripple effects are enormous. Prevention of negative patterns and behaviours becomes possible. We need to support and encourage positive behaviours and interactions, not just addressing negative or damaging behaviour.
We need to offer better alternatives than aggression, violence or shutdown. When people learn how to navigate their desires, face rejection, deal with conflict and shame in healthier ways, we reduce the likelihood that confusion, frustration, or pain turns into control, coercion, aggression or harm. If a person does not have the mental and emotional tools to deal with difficult situations they default to basic survival responses which often involve aggression, dominance, and in the worst cases, violence. When any of these emotions or actions come into play it's because the person doesn't have any other tools at their disposal. We need to work on providing these tools, creating healthier ways to engage in challenging or difficult situations and thus have healthier and more productive outcomes.
GBV prevention is rooted in creating healthier ways to think, feel and respond. For all involved to have safe ways to communicate, to discuss and to resolve issues. It starts with the youth, but all ages can learn, change, and be better. And it matters every single day, not only during these 16 days.
