The Empathologist Foundation

29/09/2026

🤲🏾 Sometimes care is simply a hand making sure someone doesn't fall. 🤲🏾
A bus ride home with our son reminded us that community can live in the smallest of gestures.

The other day, we decided to take our son home by bus. We believe you need to experience and use public transport if available.

He was, of course, everywhere. 😅 He sat next to a man who gently told him to hold onto the yellow bar. Then a seat became free and he ran to it, sitting proudly and looking around at everyone else.

And then, without thinking twice, the woman sitting next to him placed her hand gently on his lap, holding him so he wouldn't fall as the bus moved.

Such a small gesture. But it touched our hearts.

For a moment, we felt that someone was looking after him. And, strangely enough, we felt protected too.

As we continue our Community Conversations research, listening to communities about motherhood, care and the networks surrounding women and children, moments like this remind us why those networks matter.

Care doesn't always need words, a relationship, or even an introduction. Sometimes it is simply a hand reaching out to make sure someone doesn't fall.

To that woman on the bus, whose name we don't know: thank you. ❤️

25/09/2026

Some people really do Walk With Her. 💙

Today, Julz came to visit us at our Site. Her gypsy soul has decided to take a little break from wandering and spend some time with family and friends, and we were lucky enough to be on the list. ❤️

Her visit made me realise that before we had this Site, we had another one: our website. Julz built it for us, donated it to The Empathologist Foundation, and then patiently trained us to use it.

And, of course, received countless panic calls:
“Julz, how do I change this?”
“Julz, something has disappeared!”
“Julz… HELP!” 😂

Looking back, that website was more than a website. It was one of the first acts of generosity that helped our young organisation find its feet.

Today, we have a physical Site where ideas, conversations and community happen. But we should never forget the people who helped build the foundations before we even had a place to call our own.

Thank you, Julz and Extreme Webbing, for your skills, patience, generosity and friendship.

You were walking with us long before we knew where the path would lead. 💙

And yes… we may still need your help with the website. 😂

You can also be one of these exceptional persons that ¨Walk with Her¨. Every contribution helps us create more opportunities, provide better resources, and make an even greater impact. Check our donating page at BackaBuddy
👉 https://backabuddy.co.za/campaign/walk-with-her-birth-mothers-thriving

24/09/2026

Heritage is a big word.

Today, as we celebrate Heritage Day in South Africa, we find ourselves looking at this simple “Happy Heritage Day” post-it on our wall, surrounded by the many questions, ideas and conversations that are shaping our research on motherhood.

Because heritage is not only about what we inherit from the past. It is also about the values, traditions, expectations and beliefs that shape our families, our communities, and the way we understand motherhood, childhood and one another.

At The Empathologist Foundation, we take this seriously. Understanding heritage means looking at both its richness and its implications… what it gives us, what it asks of us, and sometimes, what it makes difficult.

Our Community Conversations are about listening, understanding and making space for those stories.

Happy Heritage Day. 🇿🇦

21/09/2026

Three walls. One door. And a LOT of Post-its. 🟨🟨🟨

We’re starting to think that Community Conversations might need a bigger office… or at least a few more walls.

Avidas, Nasiphi and Noluvo have already taken over three walls, and even the door, with the richness, complexity and diversity of the conversations they are bringing together.

We may need to add a new line to the budget:
Post-its. Lots of Post-its. 😂

Luckily, we’ve discovered the only ones that seem determined to stay on the wall!

But jokes aside, what is growing on these walls is something much more valuable: community voices, perspectives, questions and insights about the realities surrounding motherhood in South Africa.

Three walls of community richness.
Three Community Superheroes making it happen. 💙

And we couldn’t be prouder of the work Avidas, Nasiphi and Noluvo are doing.

The conversations are growing. And so are the walls.

18/09/2026

📚🧠 So… THAT’S why we’ve been a little quiet lately. 😂

While our social media has been suspiciously silent, behind the scenes my brain has been doing things that should probably require a permit. 🤯

After days of conversations with our amazing partner organisations, discussing communities, women, motherhood, support systems, challenges, possibilities and a million other things… I then had the small task of translating all of that into the wonderfully hardcore language of a DSD funding application. 😵‍💫📄

Logic. Budgets. Outcomes. Indicators. Activities. Monitoring. Sustainability. More forms. More indicators. More coffee. ☕😂 Somewhere along the way, I am fairly sure my brain has suffered permanent damage.

But today, The Empathologist Foundation has submitted an application to support Community Conversations, a project we are already working on and that we believe can create meaningful spaces for women to talk, listen, reflect and understand the realities surrounding motherhood and the choices women face.

And yes… this means I have barely seen my son for several days while I have been buried under papers. 😭❤️ Oliver, Daddy promises he is doing this for something important!

This is also another very real expression of our Walk With Her commitment: walking alongside women, listening to their voices and working with communities to create change.

Now all we can do is cross our fingers, and wish us luck. 🤞🏽😂

Because this is a beautiful project. And we really, really believe in it. ❤️

We keep walking with her. 🚶🏽‍♀️💙

05/09/2026

Happy International Charity day! ♥️

🌟 International Charity Day 🌟

Every entry. Every vote. Every share. It all adds up to real change.

Thanks to our incredible StarBaby community, we've been able to give back over R6.1 million to charity to date — and we're not stopping there! 💛

This September, we're proud to support Phoenix Child Welfare as our Charity of the Month, helping protect and uplift vulnerable children in need.

So keep entering, keep voting, and keep sharing — because when you support the StarBaby competition, you're supporting charity too. 👶💫

05/09/2026

We only learned today is International Charity Day when the wonderful team at StarBaby mentioned us! 🤍

And perhaps that makes it even more special.

Today, we’re celebrating ourselves, not because we have all the answers or because the work is easy, but because we keep showing up and believing in people, communities and the possibility of something better.

But this day is about so much more than us. It’s about every charity, organisation, volunteer, community worker and changemaker who chooses to care, support, protect, listen, advocate and create opportunities for a better world.

The work can be difficult and often invisible, but every act of care matters.

Today, we celebrate all of us working towards a kinder, fairer and more compassionate world.

To everyone creating change:
We see you. We celebrate you. And we’re proud to stand alongside you. 🤍

Happy International Charity Day!

04/09/2026

SOME CONVERSATIONS ARE TOO IMPORTANT TO KEEP TIPTOEING AROUND. 💙

Behind Community Conversations, there is some incredible work happening.

Avidas, Nasiphi and Noluvo are bringing their voices, perspectives and lived experiences to the sometimes difficult realities surrounding motherhood in South Africa.

They are asking questions. They are listening. They are opening conversations that are not always easy, but that are necessary.

Because motherhood is not always the picture-perfect story we see on the surface. There are challenges, expectations, struggles and realities that sometimes we prefer to tiptoe around.

But these girls are here to talk about them.

And they are here to stay. 💙

Keep an eye on this space as Avidas, Nasiphi and Noluvo continue bringing honesty, richness and new perspectives to the conversations that matter.

We couldn't be prouder! 💙

02/09/2026

We were delighted to be part of an inspiring workshop organised by Matchboxology and the SAMRC, bringing together different perspectives, experiences and expertise around PrEP and HIV prevention during pregnancy.

José and Avidas had the opportunity to listen, learn, share experiences and engage in thought-provoking conversations with others working across research and communities.

For us, the workshop was particularly valuable as it adds an important new perspective to our ongoing research on motherhood. The conversations around HIV prevention during pregnancy, women’s agency, relationships and the realities that shape women’s lives will undoubtedly help us reflect further on our research and ask new questions.

Thank you to Matchboxology and the SAMRC for creating such an engaging, welcoming and thought-provoking space. We leave with new ideas, new connections and plenty to take back into our research.

31/08/2026

As Women's Month comes to an end, we want to celebrate something a little more personal.
The women who have shaped us.

In this picture are two of the most important women in our lives: our mothers, Marianne Banks and Susi Soler.

They taught us, in their own ways, so much of what motherhood means to us today: love, care, strength, showing up, and being there even when life is not always easy.
Perhaps that is why motherhood has become such an important part of the work we do. The idea that motherhood is not simply something you are, but something you give: through love, presence, guidance and care.

As a gay couple, we have also been incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by extraordinary women: friends, family, colleagues, mentors and those who simply appeared when we needed them.

The list of women we could tag here would, fortunately, be very long. And they know who they are. 💙

Each of you has shaped us through a conversation, a laugh, a challenge, a piece of advice, an open door, a helping hand, or simply by showing up. And your influence has reached beyond us. You are also helping shape the world our son is growing up in.
So, to every woman who has walked beside us and helped us become who we are: Thank you and thank you for helping us Walk With Her.

Women's Month may be ending, but our work continues.
If you would like to join the movement, please consider supporting Walk With Her on BackaBuddy.
👉 https://backabuddy.co.za/campaign/walk-with-her-birth-mothers-thriving