05/05/2025
“Today I got the same angry barrage of emotions from the same person who has reacted that same way for ten years. It made me wonder, ‘What am I doing still standing here?’ The Suggested Al-Anon Welcome states that ‘it is possible for us to find contentment, and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.’
“I don’t know if I would apply the words contented or happy to myself right now, but I do know that today I know a little more about how to take care of myself. First, I didn’t argue back even as the words rose in my throat. Second, I chose to remove myself. Nothing I could have said would have made it better. The things that were producing anger in the other person were not necessarily mine to solve.
“Learning what was mine to solve was difficult for me. I was taught that if there was a problem that needed to be solved, and I could solve it, then I should solve it. But I had learned from past experience that solving all of the problems would not make the other person happy if they were choosing to be angry. If anger was their choice, then new emotions would just line up behind the others like soldiers. I would end up exhausted and sad, because nothing I was doing was solving the actual problem… The thing that I am most grateful for, is that when I get to a safe place, I am allowed to cry. It hurts to get yelled at. [The Al-Anon] program doesn’t tell me that I can’t or shouldn’t be sad. It is okay for me to grieve the situation and the relationship. I know that I can take those feelings to … my Sponsor, or a trusted Al Anon friend. I don’t have to go it alone.”
“What Is Mine to Solve,” “The Forum,” March 2025
Al-Anon members come together every week for support and to find ways to deal with living with an alcoholic family member or friend. Is there or has there been a history of alcoholism in your family? Maybe Al-Anon can help.
Meeting info:
🔹 https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/