06/17/2026
The June 17, 1909, edition of the Quinlan Mirror (Quinlan, Oklahoma) told a tale that has so many things wrong with it, that its reading will likely have you saying, “Hmmmm.”
Let’s start with the description of the incident as a “drunken joke.” It’s 1909, prohibition in Oklahoma became the law of the land in 1907 with Statehood.
Then there’s the writer’s description of the act as “being nothing short of marvelous.” Marvelous? Really? Fantastic, maybe, but marvelous? Again, “Hmmm.”
Finally, how in the world do you shoot off someone’s mustache without taking a good chunk of their face off along with it? As before, “Hmmm.”
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SHOT OFF MAN’S MUSTACHE!
For Drunken Joke, Oklahoman is Charged With Attempted Murder.
Tulsa. – Mitchell Mason, who was brought to the county jail here, performed a feat which is nothing short of marvelous. While engaged in a drunken row at Mingo, a small station near here, he pointed a six shooter at Thomas Howard and exclaimed: “Look out, Tom. I’m going to singe your mustache.”
He fired and took off every hair the hirsute appendage, of which Howard was exceedingly proud. For this act he was arrested on the charge of attempted murder.
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Visit the Plains Indians & Pioneers Museum in Woodward where the staff hired the Booter Brown Wild Shot Exhibition as another poorly-thought-out, but well-intentioned fundraiser. On the first shot of the demonstration, Booter himself attempted to shoot a cigarette from the mouth of the Temple Houston statue out front. The shot missed and nicked Mr. Temple's nose. Who knew it was illegal to discharge fi****ms inside city limits? Woodward PD is still issuing citations. Not a day has gone by that they haven't thought up some new charges. A police unit will pull up in front of the Muse and give us one blast of the car's siren. That's the signal for one of the staff to step outside to receive the new summons. At that point, the unit drives off until they can think of something new to charge us with.
Museum fundraising is not for the faint of heart!
We are hirsute-, marvelous-, and admission-free. Stop in sometime and whisper the muzzle velocity of a .45 Long C**t (Cowboy Action Shooting load) to receive a special prize.
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