01/07/2026
On Boundaries...
There comes a point in our relationships: friendship, familial, or romantic, where we need to set a boundary so we are honoring ourselves; honoring the values and rules that are important to us.
Too often we may have sacrificed ourselves, our desires, our needs, and our wants, and we end up “shrinking” ourselves.
Sometimes you start “shrinking” without even realizing it. You shrink your voice, your needs, your joy, your presence.
Or maybe you “shrink” just to keep the peace in a relationship. Surely, you’ve heard the phrase: “peace at any price.”
Perhaps you shrink just to sustain or preserve the relationship because of your fear of losing it, and because a part of you worries about what life would look like without that connection.
You may even feel torn between honoring yourself and holding onto someone you care about. That stress and tension can affect your nervous system and make you “shrink” a little bit at a time.
“Shrinking” comes at a cost. It slowly diminishes your confidence, it erodes your peace of mind, and it dims your Inner Light. Even your nervous system begins to believe that your needs aren’t important.
When you stop “shrinking” and begin honoring yourself, your nervous system relearns safety, your confidence returns, and your Inner Light shines brighter. You must honor yourself first so that you can genuinely honor others.
I wrote this for me because I’m looking at how I might be “shrinking” in my relationships. I offer you the invitation to ask yourself: How might I be “shrinking”? 🙏💖 Dr. Janine Burns