09/19/2026
For the last 2 days, I did something that isn’t part of the curriculum.
I told my students my story.
Not the cleaned-up version.
As a kid. High school. College. Working for the Redskins. Opening a gym with my two best friends. Losing it.
I told them about Brittany and Connor & the night they were murdered. About what Kevin and I saw, & how we walked out of that room as two different men than the ones who walked in.
About losing my brother, my mom, my dad, another nephew. About living in my car for 3 months. Sleeping at a rest stop. Sitting there with a can of tuna and no fork, thinking, “This is where my life is now.”
I told them about sitting alone in my car at another point deciding whether I wanted to keep living.
Then I told them about Sofia.
How we trained together. How much she believed in me. How she got me competing again. How losing her changed everything.
& about spending the next 4 years trying to keep a promise.
I showed them my IFBB Pro ring, my book, and gave every kid a BROKEN…STILL BUILT wristband.
I told them, “I’m not telling you this so you feel sorry for me.”
We’ve spent the last month talking about growth, failing forward, winning the day, pain, consistency, and controlling what you can control.
I don’t teach those things because I found them on a PowerPoint.
I teach them because I’ve had to live them.
At the end I asked, “If I had never told you any of this, would you have known?”
They said no.
They see me happy. Joking. Teaching. Pushing them. Making class fun.
But it’s been 5 years, & I still cry almost every day.
That isn’t a sad thing. It’s part of my life now, and I’m ok with it.
You can be doing well and still hurt. You can be strong and still grieve. You can keep building while carrying what happened to you.
Some of these kids have already been through more at 17 than I ever did at their age.
Maybe they don’t need another adult pretending life is perfect.
Maybe they need somebody willing to show them the scars—and then show them what can happen afterward.
Broken doesn’t mean finished.
Sometimes it just means you’re still being built.
