The Compassionate Friends, Wilmington, NC - Cape Fear Chapter

05/31/2026

Good evening! As part of our chapter’s leadership transition, we will be moving to a new page. This current page will remain available for the next couple of months, but you’ll begin seeing updates and new content posted on the new page going forward.

We’ve also put steps in place to ensure that any future leadership transitions will not require another page change. Thank you for your patience and understanding as we work through this process.

You can find and follow our new page here: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61590336519530

TCF is a support group for bereaved parents, grandparents, and adult siblings. We try to offer knowledge of the grief process, friendship, and a safe place to talk and ask questions. For more information, email [email protected].

05/03/2026

Today, on Bereaved Mothers' Day, The Compassionate Friends is thinking of all our moms. We'd love for you to share the name(s) of your child(ren) so that we can all remember them together.

03/30/2026

Join us for this panel discussion on Tuesday, March 31st at 7:30 pm ET. Over the past few years, this workshop has drawn significant interest at the TCF National Conference because many families find it incredibly beneficial for parents, grandparents, and siblings alike. We are excited to offer a panel of siblings from different backgrounds and experiences who will share their perspectives and answer questions in an effort to help families reopen the door to communication.

Parents and grandparents will have the opportunity to ask difficult questions—questions they may wish they could ask their surviving child(ren) directly. Listening to a panel of siblings can provide parents with valuable insight into what their surviving child(ren) may be thinking and feeling after the loss.

Presented by: Keith Singer whose sister, Lori, died in an automobile accident in 1998 while serving active duty in the United States Navy. Keith was 21 and away at college. Although attending TCF functions because his mom asked and in the belief it would make her happy, Keith talked with other bereaved siblings and came to realize that sharing his thoughts and experiences dealing with the death of his sister helped him and others. He is a Certified Grief Educator by David Kessler, He facilitates sibling meetings for his local chapter and has been presenting workshops at the national conference for the past 18 years.

03/22/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1AqQko2gpk/

Join us for this free webinar tomorrow, on March 23rd at 12:00 pm EDT. This webinar will provide hope to those bereaved who do not believe they will ever find anything positive in life again. It will help them recognize the gifts or positives that they may have received following the death of their child, sibling or grandchild. We would give anything to have them alive again; however, since we know that cannot happen, we will open their hearts and minds to the gifts they may have received but did not realize them as such. These “gifts” can come in a number of ways, I.e., gifts we give ourselves (hope, courage), gifts given to us (kindness, compassion, understanding), and gifts that evolve with our “new normal” life (personality changes, awareness of nature, compassion, and friendships that are so very priceless). These are positives/gifts we would not have acquired without this loss in our life.

Presenter: Donna Goodrich is a member of the TCF Board of Directors and, (along with her husband, Ralph) is the recipient of the 2020 TCF Recognition award. Donna has had three children to die, a miscarriage, her son, Garth, at birth who was an identical twin and her 17 year old daughter, Lauren in an auto accident. Six months after the death of her daughter, Donna found a chapter of TCF and has been involved in some aspect of the organization for the past 26 years including chartering a new TCF chapter in Charlotte, NC, chapter leader, newsletter editor, served on the committees for the 2010 and 2018 TCF National Conferences, and has conducted 14 Chapter Leadership Training Programs in both North and South Carolina, Virginia and Tennessee. She is currently Co-Regional Coordinator (with her husband) for North and South Carolina. Donna has presented her workshop “Gifts of Grief” at the past 10 National Conferences, and is a moderator for the TCF private page “Loss of a Child” since it began in 2015.

03/10/2026

This is a copy of an email sent out by Becky Stout ... it's being posted by Tonya (Jeff and Marietta's daughter) in case anyone didn't get the email.

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Your future Chapter Leader (beginning April 1, 2026) Becky Stout, has temporarily taken over this email account to share an important message.

Our March meeting on Monday, March 16, 2026, will be a little different from our usual meetings. As many of you know, our beloved leaders, Jeff and Marietta, will be stepping down from their roles as Chapter Leader and Program Leader. Jeff and Marietta founded the Cape Fear Chapter in 1983, and have compassionately guided countless parents and siblings through their grief journeys.

This March meeting will be their final meeting in leadership, and we cannot let this moment pass without celebrating them and honoring all they have done for our chapter and community.

Please join us as we recognize Jeff and Marietta. Drinks and cake will be provided, and we welcome any finger foods or desserts you would like to bring to share.

If you would like to express your gratitude, notes and cards with your memories and well wishes would be deeply appreciated.
We will have a table available for you to leave them. While there will not be enough time during the meeting for everyone to speak, we invite you to stay afterward for refreshments and fellowship, and to share a few words personally.

If you are unable to attend but would like to send a note or card please mail it to:

The Compassionate Friends
C/O Becky Stout
PO Box 7181
Wilmington, NC 28406

If you know of any parents who are no longer receiving the newsletter but would like to attend or send a card, please feel free to pass this invitation along.

We look forward to gathering together in March at Wrightsville on Oleander, 5810 Oleander Drive, Wilmington, NC, to celebrate two very special people who have meant so much to us all.

With gratitude,
Becky Stout
Cape Fear Chapter
The Compassionate Friends

Send a message to learn more

03/05/2026

03/02/2026

A post from former TCF-CEO Debbie Rambis (Worth the read)

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Fifteen Years After Losing My Son, Tony

In 2011, my 29-year-old son, Tony, drowned while cleaning our family pool.
There is no easy way to say that. Even after fifteen years, it still hurts to write those words. When a child dies, life is divided into two parts: before and after. Nothing ever feels the same again.

Fifteen years have passed since Tony died.

The world kept moving. Seasons changed. People went on with their lives. But for me, time feels different. I don’t just count the years. I think about the last time I heard his voice. The last time I saw his smile. The last time I hugged my son.

When Tony died, I lost more than my child. I lost the future I thought we would have. I lost the birthdays I expected to celebrate, the talks we would have had, and the simple moments I assumed would always be there.

A parent is forever changed after losing a child.

That change may not show on the outside, but it is real. You see the world differently. You understand how fragile life is. You stop assuming you have all the time in the world.
In the beginning, grief felt impossible. Just getting out of bed was hard. Breathing felt heavy. I didn’t know how life could go on when my heart felt broken.

But over time, grief became a teacher.

Grief showed me what truly matters.

The little things that once upset me no longer seemed important. Being right didn’t matter as much. Loving people well mattered more. I learned that time is precious. I learned not to waste it on anger or small arguments.

Grief also made me more compassionate.

When you have lost a child, you understand that many people are hurting in ways you cannot see. Now, when I meet someone who seems distant or short-tempered, I wonder what pain they might be carrying. Losing Tony softened my heart toward others.

Grief made me stronger, too.

I never wanted this kind of strength. But when you survive something you thought would destroy you, you learn that your heart can endure more than you imagined. Not because you are strong on your own, but because love holds you up.

And maybe the biggest gift grief gave me is purpose.

Tony’s life did not end the day he died. His love is still part of me. I carry him into everything I do. When I help others, when I choose kindness, when I speak about loss so others feel less alone — I do those things in part because of him.

Love does not end when someone dies. It changes.

Grief is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of love. The deeper the love, the deeper the grief.

Today, grief is different than it was in the beginning. It is not the overwhelming wave it once was. It is quieter now. It shows up on anniversaries, holidays, and in unexpected memories. It still hurts — because I still love him.

I will always miss Tony. That will never change.

But I have learned something important: joy and sorrow can live in the same heart. I can laugh and still miss him. I can live a meaningful life while carrying this loss.

To anyone who is grieving:

You do not have to “move on.”
You move forward — carrying love with you.
It is okay if you are changed.
It is okay if you feel both strong and fragile.
It is okay if some days are harder than others.

Fifteen years later, I do not ask why this happened as much as I once did. Instead, I ask how I can live in a way that honors Tony’s life.

Grief did not end me.
It reshaped me.

Tony was my son.
He still is.
And he always will be.

Send a message to learn more

02/15/2026

TCF- Wilmington, NC February 2026 Newsletter

01/17/2026

The Cape Fear Chapter - TCF received a donation of $340.00 from 3 Degree Airmax Charitable Donations for the month of December. Marietta & I went to WWAY TV3 on January 13, 2026 to receive the donation. Thank you Airmax & WWAY TV3 for the contribution you made to TCF and the bereaved parents & siblings in our area!

01/17/2026

January 2026 Compassionate Friends Newsletter....