05/06/2025
Not sure who the author is ….but so much THIS!!!
I’ve been in the room when the decision was made.
I’ve walked out of court holding my breath, holding back tears.
I’ve cradled a child after a visit that left them shattered, whispering comfort I couldn’t promise would last.
And more times than I can count, I’ve felt the unspoken expectation:
“Your emotions don’t belong here.”
After all, I chose this.
I knew what it could cost.
I’m “just” the in-between.
Not the “real” mom.
Not the one the case is about.
So when I say,
“I’m hurting.”
“I’m overwhelmed.”
“I’m grieving something I can’t even name”—
I can feel the eye rolls.
The subtle shift.
The pressure to swallow it down and keep smiling for the sake of the child.
But here’s what often gets missed:
Foster parents are real people, too.
We love deeply, even knowing it could wreck us.
We steady little hands that shake after hard visits.
We carry stories we can’t tell, pain we didn’t cause, and bonds we might be asked to break.
And yes, we are strong.
But strength doesn’t mean numb.
It doesn’t mean immune.
It doesn’t mean unfeeling.
This kind of love—it costs.
And pretending it doesn’t only isolates us more.
We’re not heroes.
We’re not saviors.
We’re not machines who clock in and out of heartbreak.
We’re safe arms.
We’re tear-wipers.
We’re bedtime prayers and morning hugs.
And when we love a child, we do it with our whole hearts—even if we have to let go.
So please hear this:
If you’re a foster parent feeling like no one sees the emotional toll—
If you’ve ever been made to feel weak for being honest—
If you’ve ever questioned whether your grief even matters—
Let me remind you: it does.
Your tears matter.
Your heartbreak matters.
Your voice matters.
Not because it changes the case plan, but because it changes you.
And how you’re supported—emotionally, spiritually, practically—matters for the child in your arms.
Jesus sees every hidden ache.
He stands with you in the waiting, the weeping, the wondering.
This work is sacred, and it’s okay to feel the weight of it.
You’re not too emotional.
You’re not too much.
You’re not alone.
You’re doing holy work.
And your heart? It was never meant to be silent.
