06/06/2022
From time to time, we like to highlight one of our employees. This week, we want to give a shout out to Colynn, not for his contribution in the office, which consists of throwing confetti any time someone announces rain in the forecast during a meeting, but for his side gig: Collyn’s Custom Cuckoo Clocks. Here are a few examples of clocks he’s built:
1: The Sting: Instead of a bird, the spring pushes a bundle of killer bees out every hour on the hour. The clock has proven to guarantee that the owner gets their “steps” in…and those plump lips are fabulous.
2: The Reflection: A replica of your own head pops out and reads your cringiest social media post out loud, says “maybe don’t do that anymore” condescendingly, then disappears back into the abyss (given that I write these things, this version would have a heck of a time choosing the cringiest).
3: The Recluse: A smaller clock springs out from the cuckoo clock and a recording says “the resident of this house is an introvert. If you’re hearing this, you’ve probably overstayed your welcome.”
4: The HoneyDo: Out pops a scroll, which promptly unravels with a list of all the things you promised your significant other to get done. It then rolls up, little by little, with the sound of several disappointed sighs.
5: The Enforcer: A sunglass wearing, very attractive, Steve Buscemi doppelganger bolts out and says in the sultry way only Steve Buscemi can: “Replacing a standard clock-based controller with a WaterSense labeled irrigation controller can save an average home up to 15,000 gallons of water annually!” Ir-re-sis-ti-ble!
https://www.epa.gov/watersense/watersense-labeled-controllers #:~:text=WaterSense%20Savings,15%2C000%20gallons%20of%20water%20annually.