Stillpoint Family Resources

Stillpoint Family Resources CHANGING LIVES, STRENGTHENING FAMILIES, SHAPING CULTURE by empowering special needs people.

Dr. Ross Porter founded Stillpoint Family Resources in 1998, in response to the gratitude he felt for God's gift of a son who has Down syndrome, but also in concern for the many families who fall into crisis because of the birth of a special needs child. upwards of 85% of couple with special needs child divorce, and Dr. Porter believed that his organization could help decrease those numbers. But m

arriages are not the only part of the family system that needs support. Siblings, grandparents, and other extended family members need to be embraced as well. Since then, Dr. Porter and his staff have dedicated much time, work, and care toward empowering special needs people and those who love them, through enrichment programs, advocacy, books and blogs, and podcasts. To learn more about Stillpoint’s work, please go to:
www.StillpointFamilyResources.org

Today is “Loving Day” in the US. My blog explains why!❤️A man and woman fall in love, and decide they want to marry. S...
06/12/2026

Today is “Loving Day” in the US. My blog explains why!❤️

A man and woman fall in love, and decide they want to marry. Sounds like an everyday occurrence, no? No. Not if the man was white and the woman black in 1958 Virginia. Richard Loving and Mildred Jeter knew this, so they travelled to Washington D.C., to avoid the anti-miscegenation law in their home state that prohibited a person classified as “white” from marrying someone classified as “colored.”

This anti-miscegnation law had been in effect since Virginia was a colony, and had never been challenged.

After their marriage, the newlyweds returned home to their small town of Central Point, Virginia without fanfare to start a family. But acting on an anonymous tip, police raided the Loving home one night and found them (not surprisingly) asleep together in the same bed. Mildred presented the officers with their valid marriage certificate, and that was taken into evidence as proof of the Loving’s illicit act.

Richard and Mildred were charged with the crime of cohabiting as a married in*******al couple, a felony punishable by a prison sentence of one to five years.

On January 6, 1959, the Lovings pleaded guilty, and sentenced to one year in prison. The judge agreed to suspend their prison sentence for 25 years if they moved to another state. Mildred and Richard agreed and moved to Washington D.C.

But after five years of frustration about not being able to travel back home to see their families in Virginia, Mildred wrote to Attorney General Robert Kennedy for assistance. He in turn referred her to the American Civil Liberties Union, who filed a motion in 1964 to have the case vacated based on the 14th amendment (citizenship rights, and equal protection under the law).

However, the Virginia Supreme Court of Appeals upheld the constitutionality of the anti-miscegnation law---that people of different races should not, must not, be allowed to marry and to do so would be a crime.

Thankfully, the Lovings refused to accept this judgment and filed an appeal with the Supreme Court of the United States. And on June 12, 1967, in a unanimous decision, the Supreme Court overturned the Lovings’ conviction and dismissed the Commonwealth of Virginia’s argument. Further, the Court concluded that anti-miscegnation laws were inherently racist.

The ruling forced seventeen states (all the former slave states plus Oklahoma) to remove the prohibition against in*******al marriage.

Richard and Mildred would go on to have three children, and live peacefully in Virginia until 1975 when Richard was killed by a drunk driver. Mildred never remarried, and died in 2008.

In the United States, June 12th, the day of the Supreme Court’s ruling, has come to be celebrated as Loving Day…the day love won.

Mildred and Richard Loving are heroes you should know.

This❤️
06/09/2026

This❤️

On the anniversary of D-Day, I offer this reflection on the virtue of Remembrance.82 years ago today, more than 160,000 ...
06/06/2026

On the anniversary of D-Day, I offer this reflection on the virtue of Remembrance.

82 years ago today, more than 160,000 Allied soldiers stormed 50 miles of Normandy coastline, to strike a decisive blow for freedom. 60% of those men were killed or injured before they even reached the shore, and 10,000 would not live to see nightfall on June 6th---D-Day.

Years ago, Jenni and I travelled to Normandy, and arrived in the small town of Bayeux late in the afternoon. And because we were still a couple of hours away from dinner time, we decided to dump the suitcases in our room and set out on a walk.

Almost immediately we came upon a sign pointing toward the British war cemetery on the outskirts of town, and we decided to pay our respects. There, just under 4,000 British soldiers are buried, having paid the ultimate price for freedom in the historic invasion.

Making our way slowly and reverentially through the rows of tombstones we noticed a still-fresh bouquet of flowers lying on the grave of a twenty year old British soldier who had died the day of the invasion. And as we drew closer, I saw a notecard peeking out from beneath the flowers, with the slightly smudged “17 June” visible. The visitor had been there just a day before we arrived. Who would be leaving a handwritten message on a marker that was 64 years-old? My curiosity got the best of me and I gently lifted the bouquet to read the rest of the message.

“Sweetheart, I love you and always will.”

Even now as I read these words I catch my breath; the message was so simple, and so profound. Of course there is much we don’t know about this love. But we do know what matters most…that it endured. Across the years and tears, the love endured. But how?

How much time could these sweethearts have even had together? He was dead, tragically taken, before his twenty-first birthday. Yet, sixty-four years later she returned; still feeling, remembering, and sharing what they had. Reality is so much more powerful than anything Hollywood could dream up.

I think about that woman every time June 6th roles around. So many lives altered on that one significant day. And how different would our lives be today if the N**i’s had repelled the Allied forces, and turned the tide of the war? What if evil had won?

The ‘greatest generation’ is almost gone, now, and as they slip into eternity I fear that fewer and fewer will fully appreciate the tremendous debt of gratitude owed to these heroes. This is why days like today are so significant.

We must be reminded to remember.

And ‘remembrance’ becomes a virtue when we both remember and then live differently, more gratefully and purposefully, because of the remembering…we honor those who sacrificed for the Good, and remind ourselves that freedom isn’t free…and that “freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought.”

May we never forget what happened on the beaches of Normandy on this day. And the responsibility we carry to live differently because of this day!

On the eve of D-Day, I celebrate a woman who became “thank you.” The Mother of Normandy In the early morning hours of Ju...
06/06/2026

On the eve of D-Day, I celebrate a woman who became “thank you.”

The Mother of Normandy

In the early morning hours of June 6, 1944 paratroopers from the U.S. 82nd and 101st Airborne divisions descended from the inky black skies above Normandy, France into the sleepy little town of Sainte-Mere-Eglise. The village had military significance because it sat in the middle of the route N**i soldiers would soon be taking, to access the beaches and confront the Allied Forces’ land invasion. By mid-morning Sainte-Mere-Eglise had been liberated by the Americans, but not without heavy casualties.

Madame Simone Renaud had a front row seat to the tragedy and triumph of the invasion, and the images of that day, and the days that followed, changed her forever. As the wife of the town’s mayor and as the mother of three young boys who would grow up free because of the heroism of others, she felt a deep sense of gratitude and responsibility---to honor the thousands of fallen soldiers whose final resting place was her town. And when three temporary cemeteries were created in and around Sainte-Mere-Eglise for the estimated 13,000 dead, Madame Renaud got to work.

She began by tending to the graves of the soldiers---bringing flowers and prayers, and organizing townspeople to join her. But after a photograph of her kneeling at the grave of General Theodore Roosevelt Jr. was published by LIFE magazine an avalanche of letters began arriving from the United States---mothers and fathers begging her to remember their sons as well. And every letter that arrived met with a compassionate response from Madame Renaud, and a promise. She would serve as the stand-in mother to the fallen; honoring and remembering the soldiers, but also representing the families who could not visit France. Soon she also became a second mother to those soldiers who lived as well.

And with the correspondences came relationships. The families of soldiers, as well as veterans of the battle who needed to return, began to travel to Sainte-Mere-Eglise, and Madame Renaud was often the face of love they looked for when they arrived. She was even visited by President and war hero Dwight D. Eisenhower who came to pay homage to the fallen, and to greet and thank Madame Renaud for her service.

For the final 44 years of her life, Simone Renaud served as the Mother of Normandy, tending to the graves of the fallen soldiers, corresponding with veterans and their families, and hosting visitors until almost the day she died.

Some people say ‘thank you’, some live ‘thank you’, and a very select few become ‘thank you.’

Simone Renaud is a hero you should know.

Hi friends,Today’s hero has become known as the ‘Street Vet’ for his special work. It is an increasingly common sight ...
06/04/2026

Hi friends,
Today’s hero has become known as the ‘Street Vet’ for his special work.

It is an increasingly common sight to see homeless people---over 500,000 in the Unites States, and over 150,000 in California alone. And almost as common a sight are pets by the sides of these homeless men, women, and children, for companionship, for protection, for support. And it’s the conviction of one special veterinarian that these pets deserve support too.

Dr. Kwane Stewart’s love for animals began as a young child in New Mexico where he began rescuing stray animals, and eventually led him to Veterinarian school.

For the first decade of his career, he enjoyed a lucrative private practice. But when the economic crisis hit in 2007, he began to reassess his calling. Following an impulse, Stewart set up a table in front of a soup kitchen in his hometown of Modesto, California one weekend with the help of his son and girlfriend, and offered free pet check-ups for the patrons’ animals. And his mission as a “street vet” was born.

Even “minor” treatments like vaccines, flea treatments, and ear infections can cost upwards of $100, obviously far beyond what a person navigating homelessness could afford. More serious procedures like teeth extractions and tumor removals can run $1,500. At the beginning of his ministry Dr. Kwane paid for the procedures out of his own pocket. But as the good news got out, he decided to set up a GoFundme page to help meet the expenses of his expanding mission.

Stewart now brings his medical bag with him wherever he travels, and will often make stops when he sees a homeless person with a pet---one weekend in San Diego, another weekend in Los Angeles. To date, he estimates that he’s treated well over 400 animals. And in caring for homeless animals he’s learned a lot about homeless people.

"I had my own prejudgments, like a lot of people, about homeless people before I started doing this work," the good doctor admitted. "You just make assumptions about their story without even knowing anything about them. These homeless people take care of their pets even better than we do.” When they own a pet, it engenders this generosity. They always make sure their pet is fed. Medically is where they need help.”

Dr. Kwane believes the homeless crisis can be solved, but between now and that blessed day, he will be doing what he can to care for the forgotten animals who love their forgotten humans.

Kwane Stewart is a hero you should know.

Heroes You Should Know: The Families of MargratenFresh from the breakthrough at Normandy, General Dwight Eisenhower and...
06/03/2026

Heroes You Should Know: The Families of Margraten

Fresh from the breakthrough at Normandy, General Dwight Eisenhower and the Allied forces dreamed of a move that would end the war by Christmas of 1944. The result was Operation Market Garden, where allied air and ground forces consisting of American, British, Canadian, Polish and Dutch soldiers would liberate Holland by seizing key bridges in Holland, and then rapidly sweep north into the lowlands of Germany while avoiding the German defense line.

So on the morning of September 17, 1944 thousands of paratroopers descended by parachute or glider into Holland, up to 150 kilometers behind enemy lines.

Unfortunately the N**is were waiting, and after ten days of fierce fighting the Allied forces had to retreat, leaving over 17,000 of their soldiers behind---having paid the ultimate sacrifice for the cause of freedom. Heroes you should know among the living and the dead? No doubt.

But this is about those left to pick up the pieces---specifically at Margraten. This is where the Netherlands American Cemetery and Memorial is located, and where gratitude is practiced in a most unique way.

Established in 1960, it is Europe’s third largest war cemetery for unidentified soldiers. Rows and rows of white crosses and stars of David mark the 8,301 graves there. All but 500 of these graves are non-Dutch---men who died on foreign soil, far from their homes and their loved ones. But you wouldn’t know it.

Because each one of these graves has been adopted by a family. These families regularly tend to their adopted soldier’s grave, attend annual services in honor of their soldier, and many even hang a portrait of their soldier in their homes to honor his memory.

You would be hard pressed to find American soldiers buried on American soil honored so beautifully.

By military standards, Operation Market Garden was a failure, but this remarkable community in this little Dutch town continues to disagree. Because courage, and sacrifice, and love never fail. And each one of these grateful hearts testifies to this truth. The families of Margraten remember, and they are grateful.

But they haven’t just felt gratitude, they’ve lived it---and keep living it. And in a tired world so suffocatingly full of entitlement this is remarkable.

They are heroes you should know.

Friends,In honor of John Michael's birthday I wanted to post my introduction to the book Jenni and I wrote about his lif...
06/01/2026

Friends,
In honor of John Michael's birthday I wanted to post my introduction to the book Jenni and I wrote about his life, Hidden Graces. It's a little longer than normal, but I thank you in advance for taking the time.

In The Beginning…

“Whatever did not fit in with my plan did lie within the plan of God.” -St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross

I remember the call as if it were yesterday. It woke me from this wonderful dream about my beautiful wife and my brand new, perfectly healthy son. “We need you to come back to the hospital. We believe your son has some genetic issues that we need to discuss with you and your wife.” The pediatrician sounded as if she were a million miles away. Of course she was already distancing herself emotionally. What news to have to give to a first-time father who six hours earlier had been sent home with the promise that everything was fine. The doctor gave the phone to Jenni, without telling her anything about genetic issues."

Ross, what's going on?”

All I could mumble was, "I’ll be there in twenty minutes and we'll figure it all out." I hung up the phone and collapsed into a chair. Figure it all out? The doctor was talking about Down Syndrome. I don’t know how I knew, but I didn't even have to ask. My head started to swim, and my breathing suddenly became very shallow. I tried to tell myself that the doctors could be wrong, that there was no way two healthy young parents could have a child with Down Syndrome. Besides, throughout the entire pregnancy none of the screens or ultrasounds had picked up any sign of problems. This couldn’t be. But as I sat there in our kitchen, looking out at the start of a bright sunny day, I knew that the doctors were not wrong, and that two healthy young parents could have a Down’s baby, and that not all screenings and ultrasounds pick up irregularities in a pregnancy. Most of all, I was overwhelmed by the realization that my life had just taken a sharp turn and that nothing would ever be the same again.

John Michael Porter, miracle, mystery, perfect gift of God, was born with strawberry-blonde hair, blue eyes, and 47 chromosomes. In addition, he had two major heart malformations. He needed his first heart procedure at three days old to save his life. Over the next two years, he would have pneumonia and two more open-heart surgeries. If John Michael had been born 20 years earlier, he would not have lived to see his second birthday. The technology that saved his life had not yet been developed. I know without a doubt that I would be a very different person if I had lost my baby boy. I would still believe deep down that giftedness was best defined by I.Q. tests, and the formula for success was a good education coupled with a high paying job, and that “retarded” people couldn’t be teachers.

I’ve found that this is the worldview of most people in our society, especially if they haven’t experienced the beauty of a special needs person face-to-face, and heart to heart. People who carry this bias are not bad, they’re just mistaken. Just as I had been mistaken for the first 30 years of my life. Some lessons can be taught only in the context of a relationship.

God has opened a new world to me through John Michael, one that is very much like an elegant tapestry. It is rich in its balance of colors: lights, darks, and many shades in between. It is textured with interwoven threads, and imbedded with a design too complex to make sense of up-close, but wonderfully clear with the proper perspective. It is both beautiful and lasting.

My chapters are a heart-felt offering of what I have been taught in relationship with my first-born son, and I believe in the relevancy of this book because each story points to the deepest story, the story of God’s love. And God’s love applies to everyone, whether they have a special needs child or not. This book is about seeing with eyes of faith. It is about recognizing hidden graces, understanding natural wisdom, and celebrating the poetic beauty of a simple life. Hidden Graces is a personal tribute to John Michael, and to all special needs people who have so much to teach the world. In addition, I trust that these reflections honor my wife, my love, and my soul mate Jenni. She is my partner in this journey and the finest person I’ve ever known. Most of all, this book is a gift to God, in thanksgiving for His faithfulness and generosity.

Today I want you to meet a man who satisfies a different kind of hunger at lunchtime. Stay strong in Love.💪❤️ We’ve all...
05/29/2026

Today I want you to meet a man who satisfies a different kind of hunger at lunchtime. Stay strong in Love.💪❤️

We’ve all been there. The bell sounds, class stops, and a sea of teens gets released for lunch. For the cool kids, the popular kids, and the typical kids who have friends, this is a blessed break from the stress of the classroom. But for others, the stress is just beginning; stress, fear, and heart-breaking feelings of isolation. And as a first grader, Denis Estimon fell into the “others” category.

He’d just emigrated to the United Sates from Port-au-Prince, Haiti. He was the new kid nobody knew, and English was still a struggle for him. He was bullied, he was isolated, he slipped into a depression, and he easily could have become a tragic statistic. But by some miracle of grace he didn’t. And by the time he’d reached Boca High School in Boca Raton, Florida, Denis was well-liked and accepted.

But the cool kid hadn’t forgotten how he’d felt as a first grader. And he decided that no one should have to feel like he had.

So Denis rallied his friends, and each day at the sound of the lunch bell they would spill out onto the campus looking for kids who were alone, and invite them to lunch. A refuge had been carved out of some free space on campus, where kids could eat, meet, and encourage each other, and We Dine Together was born.

Soon after, CBS News featured Denis’ story and the vision for one high school became contagious. Knowing that a larger organizational structure was needed for growth and sustainability Denis joined forces with the anti-bullying non-profit group Be Strong in 2017, and now hundreds of student-led We Dine Together programs have been established in high schools across the United States.

In addition to insuring that no student has to eat alone, student-led meetings now include adults who can offer practical instruction in resilience training, acts of kindness, advocacy, and awareness.

Hunger comes in many different forms. Thanks to Denis Estimon thousands of high school students no longer starve for acceptance, for community, for friendship. And slowly but surely a culture of welcome grows; a culture where kindness is cool and ‘popularity’ protects the vulnerable.

Denis Estimon is a hero you should know.

Mountain hut in Hólaskógur, Iceland 🇮🇸
05/28/2026

Mountain hut in Hólaskógur, Iceland 🇮🇸

Today’s blog is in honor of all those graduating this month!We live our lives like chips in a kaleidoscope, always parts...
05/28/2026

Today’s blog is in honor of all those graduating this month!

We live our lives like chips in a kaleidoscope, always parts of patterns that are larger than ourselves and somehow more than the sum of their parts." -Salvador Minuchin

Here’s a commencement address I’d love to hear spoken gently, lovingly, and with real conviction to all graduates, at all graduations around the world: at high schools, colleges, and graduate schools:

“It’s about you, but it’s not just about you.” I believe this message would be good for those in the audience to hear as well.

You matter. You are special. You are unique. And so are the other 8+ billion human beings you need to learn how to share this planet with.

One needs to be careful at times of great celebration not to get preachy. Actually there’s no great time to get preachy. But a commencement ceremony is a particularly strategic place to point out the wonderfully complex, inter-relatedness of life, and then to challenge any folks who might still be listening to try to think at least as much about others as they do about themselves.

We are, as Minuchin points out, like chips in a kaleidoscope…part of a pattern much bigger than we can even imagine. We don’t get smaller with this realization, but our understanding of the world can get a whole lot bigger. And this is a good start.

In truth, there is no such thing as an “independent” person, a self-made person, a lone-ranger. You did not create yourself, you did not create the talents you’ve been blessed with, and you did not create the natural world you live in. Yes, you have the opportunity and responsibility to develop the life and talents you were given, and embrace the world around you, but this doesn’t happen in isolation either. You stand on the shoulders of others, who have sacrificed, struggled, and persevered in making your world better.

This is a ridiculously obvious insight, but insight has never guaranteed change. And in a culture that is increasingly privatized, and thus increasingly splintered and alienated, it’s best not to assume about anything that's important.

So what do we do with this insight? We recognize the gift, we recognize the giver, and then we start saying thank you; thoughtfully, sincerely, and continuously.

Life is a gift, health is a gift, love and friendship are gifts, freedom is a gift, truth is a gift, beauty is a gift, work is a gift, play is a gift, triumphs are a gift, struggles are a gift. And the opportunity to make a difference for the Good with all you’ve been given is perhaps the greatest gift of all.

Gratitude opens us up to all that is good, and to a deeper knowing that our world is not accidental, but Providential. It’s about you, but it’s not just about you.

And you should be grateful for that!

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