02/03/2023
No shine
I wake up and the sun shine hits my spine.
I, a wraith still allowed to speak.
The warmth felt like eternity,
I want to cry out and scream.
Today is not my day and tomorrow I doubt will be mine too.
I toss and turn and I can feel the birds sing pierce like bullet holes into my soul.
I gave up, I quit, I get near but choose to not cease my exist.
Mother Nature thinks I need to be woken up to drink her teat. Forced “nourishment.”
She thinks showing me beautiful things will remind me of how things could be.
I spit out her nourishment and just begin to bawl. I need to be left alone. I need to blanket me in my misery.
All this before noon. I know these headaches of mine are the path of my doom.
Not a cloud in the sky, I can breathe in the clean air; chokes me into a crease of known insanity.
I will not pick up a bottle. Drinking will just empty me, a fool.
I see myself in the mirror, I contemplate what ever happened to that brave man?
I see him now just mere reflection. Knowing glass breaks I hesitate hitting him today.
Back in bed, my tears will stay today, my only friends.
-Alvaro A Cardoza
©️CardozaCreativeMinds
