Making Room for Grief

Making Room for Grief Safe space to openly express your grief, find solace in shared experiences, and discover support.

As I’m posting this, other lessons are popping up so I’ll definitely do a part two!! What was your biggest lesson.Please...
09/20/2023

As I’m posting this, other lessons are popping up so I’ll definitely do a part two!! What was your biggest lesson.

Please save and share with some who needs it♥️

"I came across a post that said, 'I miss the person I was before loss,' and it hit me hard. It made me genuinely sad bec...
09/16/2023

"I came across a post that said, 'I miss the person I was before loss,' and it hit me hard. It made me genuinely sad because, honestly, I do miss the version of me who didn't know the weight of such a profound loss. The one who didn't have to constantly fear what life might throw my way. The 'me' who used to move through life, ticking off tasks like they were routine. But here I am, in this pit again, and I couldn't help but cry out to God, asking Him to help me climb out of it.

So, during my quiet prayer time, I began to wonder who I was before all of this. Did I have a perfect life back then? No, it was far from perfect, and I shouldn't sugarcoat it. But, you know what? It definitely wasn't this painfully overwhelming. My heart still aches from the loss, and it's hard to find peace sometimes.

And then, I found myself pondering who I will become after this loss. Will I ever be able to experience genuine joy again? Can good things still happen to me, and if they do, how can I embrace them when my heart is still heavy with grief? Will I remain in sorrow indefinitely?

But then, my mind brought forth these verses, these promises to hold on to:

'See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.' - Isaiah 43:19 (NIV)

'Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.' - Philippians 1:6 (NIV)

And in that moment, it hit me. According to His word, I will experience joy again. There's enough space for it, even alongside my grief for my angel baby. I need to choose love and stand firm on these promises. Yeah, the place I'm in right now feels like a challenging wilderness, but I have faith that God is still working in my life, and that's something truly meaningful." 🙏💔

I’m I the only one who feels like this, please tell me I’m not alone! I wince everytime someone uses any expression with...
09/16/2023

I’m I the only one who feels like this, please tell me I’m not alone!

I wince everytime someone uses any expression with the word “died” e.g “OMG I DIE! “ “It was so funny, I died” I literally want to scream, no you did not my son actually died! So don’t loosely use the word!

I’ve also seen that when I also use the expression I feel embarrassed and crawl back to my shell… Do those two words trigger you aswell?

You know, after my son passed away, I couldn't stand those typical condolence messages anymore. The whole "RIP" thing ju...
09/12/2023

You know, after my son passed away, I couldn't stand those typical condolence messages anymore. The whole "RIP" thing just felt like a cruel reminder of what I'd lost, and honestly, I got really good at ignoring texts and avoiding people. So that first year went by in eerie silence.

But then, the one-year death anniversary arrived, and it was like my heart shattered all over again. I had to relive that painful day, the memories flooding back with a vengeance. I couldn't help but wonder how the 300 messages I received when he first passed had dwindled down to just four a year later. It made me so angry that it seemed like everyone had moved on, while I was still stuck in this never-ending grief, this bottomless pit in my heart.

I had to muster up all the courage I had left and reached out to my friends. I reminded them about my son's death anniversary and asked them to set an alarm on their phones, to remember that day, and to check in on me because I sure as hell wouldn't be okay when it rolled around again.

So, if anyone ever asks you that annoying question about how they can be there for you grieving, tell them this: set that darn alarm on your phone. Trust me, it means the world. When those messages started pouring in, it was like a lifeline. It helped me breathe a little easier, knowing that people hadn't completely forgotten about my grief.

[CHILD LOSS, GRIEF, DEATH]

No one told me that I would find it difficult to celebrate my birthday after my child died! Two weeks prior to my birthd...
09/05/2023

No one told me that I would find it difficult to celebrate my birthday after my child died! Two weeks prior to my birthday I had all these raw and heavy feelings about the date that was to come and I absolutely dreaded it! I’m always happy to celebrate my birthday but this one gave me a really bitter taste.

As the day got closer, I got in touch with my feelings and reflected that;

1. It hurt so bad because I didn’t want to enter a new age where my baby boy wasn’t with me. He will always be stuck at 9 months and I felt like I’m leaving him behind.

2. Why were the past three years of my life catastrophic! Losing a father and a child! As in???? How much loss can one take and does this mean that i am “vaccinated” from more grief in my lifetime! I mean, 30 is pretty young to think all problems are over! So now I’m holding my breath in anticipation of the other shoe that might drop.

3. This wasn’t the life I envisioned. My life took a whole 180 degrees turn to a place I have no idea about! When my dad passed, I tried to get back to normal and as I was still that out my son died.. Now, that really threw me off. How does one purport to recover from that? My life got rearranged in so many ways, I moved countries, left my work and friends, found out I was 9 weeks pregnant and gave birth to another son. Wow, all that happened in a year, and it felt like 7 years !
As I rolled down this pit of anguish, I reminded myself to hold on to the promise that “God is not done until it’s good” from the scripture of Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭28‬ ‭NIV‬‬ “.. we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” And this song by plus this article

https://www.theporch.live/blog/if-its-not-good-gods-not-done

‭‭I didn’t stop feeling the fangs of grief, but I got out of bed and was grateful for the positive things that happened for me that year. I had an intimate birthday dinner with family and friends, but it was still a sh*tty birthday!

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