06/12/2026
💬 Mediation Musings: Selling Mediation
🕊️ by Sara Barnes
Conflict is ubiquitous––we swim in it every day. When unresolved conflict is in your life, you can suggest mediation. Be like the umbrella seller in the rainstorm, right there when someone needs a solution, helping others to make use of a tried-and-true process.
Imagine in some alternate world that two people have reached an impasse and are wringing their hands about what to do next. What would happen is, at just the right time and out of thin air, the mediator arrives to offer impartial facilitative mediation.
Selling mediation is not as simple as selling an umbrella in a rainstorm. Although there’s so much unaddressed need for conflict resolution and specifically mediation, the invention is still relatively unknown and dramatically misunderstood. How can we broaden understanding among more of the population and encourage folks to ask for mediation when they need help with unresolved disputes?
Marketing blunders:
- “We don’t take sides.”
- “We can’t make decisions for you.”
- “It’s voluntary, we can’t make anyone participate.”
As Professor Elizabeth Stokoe comments, “It’s a great philosophy but a lousy sales pitch.” Providing negative scenarios and highlighting what we don’t do, we clearly miss doing what often is suggested for sales: tell an optimistic and future-oriented story. Samantha Hardy writes, “We can make mediation sound much more appealing if, instead of telling them what we don’t do, we [focus on] the benefits and value that mediation provides.” This makes sense to me. By pointing out what mediation is not, we inadvertently open up negative possibilities. As elementary school staff we learned that instead of saying “No running!’’ we ought to say “Walk slowly,” to emphasize something that we want to solidify.
If we switch to positive framing, then the above statements might turn into:
- “We will be multi-partial and pay attention to each of your unique perspectives.”
- “Making decisions is what we are here for; we will help you do that.”
- “We will honor your requests about our work together.”
Popular media has had a big blank space where mediation stories could be told. Why is that? Maybe it is because mediation is not a visually captivating or exciting process, while our media appetite is driven by adrenaline-boosting cliffhangers—the diametrical opposite of what happens in mediation. It would be great if Netflix optioned for a dramatic series showing how mediation can be helpful and useful. Not holding my breath.
Barring that, we need to get the word out through social/print media and outreach activities; more people need familiarity with what we do. A new concept needs to be heard and seen multiple times in many contexts to become incorporated into individuals’ knowledge base. We become better at selling mediation.
Read a longer version with links to research here: https://conta.cc/4wYRWDt
