We have been thinking about starting a page in memory of my Son, James who we lost on Sept 11th 1997. I had been trying for years with my ex with no success. We tried infertility specialist, tests, basal body temps, logging them and everything possible with nothing. When I got together with James Daddy we didn't use any protection as I was told that it was me that couldn't get pregnant but come to
find out I could...ex couldn't. After losing James we decided that we didn't want to get pregnant and take the chance again of losing another baby. We don't know what the cause of James passing in and we didn't want to know and still don't. I guess that I should so that I can quit blaming myself for it but it's easier said then done. I blame myself because I wasn't taking care of my body, wasn't eating right, had a few social drinks and was smoking. I know that it may have happened anyways but still. I never knew what the butterfly feelings in my belly were until we found out that I was pregnant. Those were James moving about possibly telling me something wasn't right or just him saying HI Mommy! I ended up having a hysterectomy in 2001 due to many female issue so James is our only child together! James is up in heaven playing with his Angel friends and getting loved up by his Maternal Great Grandparents and Paternal Great Grandparents and Grandparents. We know that he is very safe up there...so that makes us feel a bit more at ease. We still miss him lots and love him lots more!
