06/01/2026
🥃 ATTENTION, BOURBON ENTHUSIASTS, FAKE SOMMELIERS, AND FUTURE YOU (IN 2026): 🥃
Donate $60 and experience Christmas in July when you receive a custom engraved, custom labeled bottle of single barrel New Riff Bourbon—because regular bottles are for people with no vision.
We’re hosting a Bourbon Fundraiser, which means you get:
• Bourbon
• The moral high ground (“it’s for charity”)
• And something to brag about when your 2026 self says, “Damn, I was smart back then.”
Let’s be honest: you’re not just buying bourbon.
You’re investing in Future You™, who will open this bottle in 2026 and say,
“I knew exactly what I was doing.”
The semi-responsible details (read before the third pour):
• Donations accepted now until ~5/1
• We’ll schedule a tasting and pick the barrel
• Bottling within 30 days
• Bottles in hand NLT 7/1 (absolute latest)
• Sell out early = everything happens sooner = instant bourbon karma
🥃 RAFFLE ENERGY:
Every bottle = 1 raffle entry to help pick the barrel.
Yes, you could literally influence the flavor of your own bad decisions.
Sip responsibly. Donate aggressively.
Do not text your ex.
Do not post tasting notes like “hints of oak and confidence.”
Absolutely buy an extra bottle “for 2026.”
Let’s raise funds. Let’s raise glasses. Let’s make 2026 proud. 🥃🔥
Who’s in?
