06/16/2026
Hello Friends of Flagstaff Kennel Club! This is Lisa Ethridge 👋 , writing her pre-show ditty meant to be humorous but informative, as usual. And before anyone asks, these are NOT AI- they are just me. I happen to be one of those who thinks AI is the bane of human existence- but I digress. This year I am writing a bit early so as to maybe inform exhibitors before they register for the show how things are so they register completely informed about the special, sometimes trying, always fun, experience that our show is. 😁
I would like to start with the fact that our part of the world is dry. We have heard about this “Super El Nino” thing that is supposed to be coming our way bringing water galore. And I hope that is the case. I hope we all show in pouring rain, soaking wet, the whole time. So, come prepared for that because I am doing rain dances daily. 🌧️ ☔️ BUT, given that the percentage of correct weather predictions for meteorologists over the last many years is about 2%, please also come prepared for completely dry, very windy, HOT with skin burning sun. ☀️ 🧴 ☂️ Yes, that means come prepared for everything; and then, find out the one thing you didn’t bring is what you will need. It is a theme for our show- Be Prepared! Then, betcha didn’t think THAT would happen, did you? We had an earthquake (that no one could feel) one year- so just letting you know!! 😳
Moving on to the didactic portion of this post! This year my theme will be bedtime stories. 📕 🛌 So, read this as you settle down under a blanket with a cup of tea or hot cocoa or milk ☕️ 🥛 (or “stronger” beverage 🍺 🍷 as you desire) with your favorite dogs cuddled next to you, and read on. As with all bedtime stories, these come with a moral just for show people.
(For full effect, please read this in Morgan Freeman’s voice!) 🗣️
THE LITTLE GOLDEN BOOK OF FAIRY TALES (TAKEN FROM REAL LIFE CAUSE NO ONE COULD MAKE THESE UP) FROM THE DOG SHOW
CHAPTER 1
Once upon a time, it was a very hot day ☀️ on the day before the Dog Show began. There were a lot of volunteers who were quite warm, tired, and a bit cranky (this was compounded by the fact that most of the volunteers were older than the average bear). These volunteers were led by their fearless leader, none other than SUPER SHOW CHAIR 🦸♀️(hereto known as SSC). All the volunteers were just finishing the main parts of their jobs that day which included putting up tents, marking out grooming spots, putting names in grooming spots, unloading all the necessary accoutrement that goes into dog shows which gets heavier every time you go back for more, hydrating so they did not pass out, questioning life choices and cursing the fact that they were not thinner/younger/stronger etc. than they were. The morning had wound down and then the afternoon was beginning. The people began arriving to unload their dog show accessories and began setting up for the next days’ shows. While the volunteers were wiping off sweat, drinking water and seeking shade, there came in the distance (across the show grounds) the rumbling of a big motor and a cloud of dust 💨(and no Hi Ho Silver) and the volunteers could not believe their eyes. 👀 Possibly they thought they were hallucinating due to heat stroke, but they were not. Because, driving slowly but with great gusto across the actual show grounds was a Class A motor home. 🚎 Several volunteers shook off their amazement and began rushing towards said motor home while waving their arms and yelling various things like STOP. 🛑 ✋ Other various things were also yelled but are not appropriate for bedtime stories. 🤬 The fearless SSC 🦸♀️ was also racing across the show ground yelling as well. As they got alongside the motorhome the person driving rolled their window down and started yelling over the volunteers yelling STOP that they were “just looking for their grooming spot”. Because no volunteer, even the SSC, was willing to jump in front of the motorhome, it did take a bit to stop the forward progress and then to work the not-great-turning-radius vehicle out of the show grounds. The day was saved!
MORAL: It is never okay to drive any motorized vehicle through show grounds, especially a largish one, unless express permission has been given by SSC! On a side note, there will be maps available for your viewing pleasure, but they are absolutely not visible from the window of the driver’s seat of a Class A motor home. 🗺️
CHAPTER 2
It was another warm to this-side-of-hell hot sun ☀️ day in Northern Arizona and it was almost time to get things really going on the first show day. Many participants were arriving with droves of 🐕 , crates, coffee ☕️ , 🍩 , grooming products, and a crate of kittens 🐱 . What, you may ask, was a crate of kittens doing at a dog show? The intrepid SSC 🦸♀️ was not sure. She asked her stalwart sidekick 🤦♀️(me) if she was seeing right? Sidekick responded with a quiet, almost whispered, “Good God, yes you are”. SSC strode confidently and just slightly confused up to the person with the kittens and stated, “Ma’am, this is clearly marked as Judges’ Parking and therefore, you may not unload here. You need to move your car.” To her credit, Kitten Woman did turn to put the crate of kittens back in the vehicle. At that point, SSC seized the moment and asked why kittens were being brought to a dog show. The reply was that they were for sale. SSC very firmly stated that no they were not and were not to be at the dog show for any reason. Kitten Woman was not made very happy by this statement and mentioned that she did not know there was a rule about that. She did take the kittens and leave. The day was saved!
MORAL: A dog show is no place to sell live animals, that is just a fact in the Library of Congress. Also, now our premium states that no cats are allowed. This, children, is why we can’t have nice things.
CHAPTER 3
It was a hotter than the hinges of Hell 🥵(notice a theme here) day at the dog show. The show was in full swing and all the people and the dogs were doing their things. The dogs’ “things” were mostly being darling 😊 , running around a ring, getting brushed/sprayed/washed/blow dried, waiting their turn, eating treats, performing various human commands while in a ring, and sometimes embarrassing their people by doing things they should not be but know that they can get away with because they are in a ring. This is pretty much a typical day at a dog show for dogs. The people’s “things” consisted of also running around rings 🏃♂️ , doing the actual brushing/spraying/washing/blow drying, also waiting their turn, eating different treats, giving commands to their dogs who did them perfect at home but seem to have developed amnesia in the ring, questioning life choices, and complaining. That last pastime just ruins the day of our intrepid SSC but, given her job title (and the non-existent paycheck that comes with it💰), she deals with that a whole heck of a lot and so do the “highly paid” volunteers. Signs were placed so that the humans could read that only the next competitors for obedience and rally were allowed under the tent at the entrances of the rings. This was for the safety of the humans and dogs as well as comfort for the dog about to forget the commands in the ring. Many times, the volunteers and even the not-at-all-annoyed SSC, asked people to move out of the area. May times people made faces and said not nice things. Sometimes they moved right back, and a few refused to move. One called the AKC Rep who immediately backed up the SSC and the unhappy people had to move. One yelled that their baby had no shade and the baby 👶“would just burn in the sun”. All the volunteers were tired 😪 and becoming not very happy 😩themselves and, yet were determined to complete the day. The day was not really saved but it did end, so there is that.
MORAL: The sun is hot. ☀️ It is hotter because of our altitude because the way altitude works is the higher you are, the closer you are to the sun. ⛰️ Our show is outside. It is not possible to cover the entire fairgrounds. 🎪Okay, likely Elon Musk could do it but that is not the point, FKC can not. This means that when people come to the shows, they must bring shade ☂️ , fans 🪭, sunscreen 🧴 , water 💦 , and every means to be cool 🆒 for themselves and all the ones they are bringing that cannot take care of themselves. That would include dogs 🐕 and children 🧒 👶 . The Club simply cannot take care of everyone and relies on the intelligence of the adults to make sure everyone stays safe and well. We realize this may not be the best plan as adults are not terribly reliable these days, but it is all we’ve got.
Well, kiddies, that is it for the bedtime stories. No, you may not have a drink of water. No, you may not check under the bed again for monsters. Go to sleep 💤 and 💭 of judges pointing to your dog and ribbons being handed to you and remember that neither thing is as important as loving your dog and being a good human. 💗
We can’t wait to see you all because the largest portion of you are THE BEST 🏆 humans in the world and we look forward to this every year (really, we do!). Just remember this show should have its own Xtreme Reality Channel and we are, all of us, you 🤩, volunteers 😇, and SSC 🦸♀️ , along for whatever ride we are going on this year! We ride at dawn bi***es!!! (And I can say that cause I’m a dog show person.)🤪
