One Student

10/07/2023

The movement to remove or ban books is a red herring. Nearly every book, periodical, newspaper etc…are available in a digital format. And the schools (thank you) have made sure EVERY child has critical learning tools such as a laptop with access to the internet. And yet, I have never heard these groups demand restrictions on what web sites their children can access. Or ask that cell phone access be limited. No demands that digital safety, security or consent be taught. I often limit my kids exposure to screens but I don’t have to wrangle books out of their hands.

These groups actions impose such a high tax on schools (all of whom have comprehensive parental opt out measures, screening processes by media specialists and curriculum review committees) is a detriment to all children and the system committed to educating them. And the real kicker, they are often making these demands on schools and systems where they have no children, grandchildren etc.

It’s almost as if it’s not about the books or the kids. But more about a lack of understanding of history and the importance of literature. And spoiler alert these bans never hold up in the court of law or public opinion. They are an old tactic used to make people afraid, be divisive and divert attention and resources away from the sole purpose of the schools. Education.

The silver lining is their performative actions and taxation on the schools have made books far more readily available thanks to educational systems, libraries and humans all over the world concerned about a society where critical thinking skills are required. Except in places like China where they actively censor what their citizens can learn and consider. America is imperfect but for such a young nation we have a tremendous history of being right on this issue. A society that cannot think for themselves is doomed to fail.

There's been plenty of time and energy expended over the past few months on debates over whether certain books belong in Florida schools. Most of the objections have come from the political right, heavily targeting books with content about s*x and gender. School board lawyers across the state have s...

09/14/2023

A terrific piece that really spoke to me and has applicable tools built in to the article. We would love to know what you think of it.

Record numbers of children and teens are struggling emotionally right now. Here's how parents can help.

08/12/2023

This is a conversation we should be having.

06/12/2023

Pride month is important to me. I find myself reflecting on the meaning of Pride and it’s significance to me and those I love.

I think of friends from all ages and stages of my life whose truth I held in confidence because of a crippling fear of rejection from those they loved. Their willingness to trust me and let me know them as they are has informed much of how I parent. I am grateful that my mom and dad made sure I knew they did not care who I loved but my character and kindness was the metric that matters. Still does.

I am grateful that my religious leaders did not teach me to know a whose love came with an *. My God is full of love and light. Seeing all of our promise and potential. As my Daniel Treiser (of blessed memory) used to say, it’s not great for fundraising but the gift of human dignity is priceless.

I am happy when new places celebrate and acknowledge Pride. But I tread carefully because I have seen, well meaning allies take up the space designed for those with whom the month is meant to honor and celebrate. These months serve a purpose from a historical perspective and as a vision for a more inclusive future. The goal is never not to need Pride, Black History, Womens History or Domestic Violence month etc it’s to build better communities…month by month and year by year…rich with greater awareness, dialogue and to collectively curate safe spaces to tell your truth when and if you so choose.

It is also to remember and dream.

These celebrations, conversations and occasions are important. I listen with two ears and an open heart. There is no greater gift than someone sharing the most vulnerable parts of themselves.

But my role is to be a spectator. Not the main event. Allies serve as members of the audience, cheerleaders and offer love and support. Unless otherwise asked to serve in another capacity. But we must show up. Showing up matters. A lot.

Today on the anniversary of the Pulse massacre standing in solidarity and disavowing acts of unhinged violence feels like a moral imperative.

So I wish you all a Happy Pride. May you love and be loved. May we all know a love worth celebrating and fighting for and in turn do the same for our neighbors, family, friends and complete strangers. Because love is the one thing there can never be too much of…

10/31/2021

In 2003 my life changed in many ways. I got engaged and then married my longtime boyfriend, I left my role as a regional marketing director in corporate America to work for Big Brothers Big Sisters in fund development and I received an email (via Julie Cretin from Alpha Gam HQ) from Tracy Maxwell inquiring if Kelly and I were still speaking (we weren’t) and would we be interested in applying for representation from CAMPUSPEAK (we were). This email was the first of the aforementioned milestones and it changed our lives forever. I know we had big dreams when we first began our work in 1999-2000. We stumbled and had a few false starts. But the steps we took in 2000-2003 created a skill set that supported our dream.

In the fall of 2003, at a small school in upstate New York we gave our first program with Campuspeak. It was one for the record books and I am sure we will write more about it in the weeks and months to come. That program began a journey that created lifelong friendships, enabled us to fulfill our dream of working with students, educators, allies and administrators to dismantle r**e culture and remove the shame and stigma surrounding s*x.

The world was different but our beliefs and ethos were not. This was before marriage equality was the law of the land. Before we created SEXVERSATIONS, adopted the No Woman Left Behind Campaign, wrote curriculum for international organizations, the military and the state of Ohio, before we advised The White House on transformational policies that would hold space for survivors, before we founded One Student, before there was a documentary about our work, before we won fancy awards, before Kelly thanked Lance Bass for being our opening act at NACA, before we grew our company exponentially adding thought leaders who inspire us and took our company to places we had only visited in our dreams. Before we travelled to over 500 campuses, visited countless communities and military bases lecturing before more than 2,000,000 people. Before our memory banks were filled with awe and wonder at the immense good in the world and our continued belief that we can all change the world. Before we were humbled to meet survivors who shared with us their stories. Those moments we will hold onto forever. With the honor and respect they deserve. As there is nothing we hold more sacred.

But as much as things have changed, grown and evolved. So much is still the same. Our belief in empowering students to create seismic culture shifts remains unchanged. Cashing in on social capital for good. I do not believe we imagined ourselves still touring 18 years later. I find it circular and beautiful that the children born in 2003 will be some of our last audiences as we end our chapter as represented artists. We are so thankful to our first agency for five incredible years and to The College Agency for the remaining 13. On November 30th we will give our last program ironically in upstate New York.

Our lives have taken many twists and turns. But in the beginning and today we were two best friends who believed that we could make a difference, we believed in the potential and promise of others and that together we could make the world a better place. And in my heart I believe we have. Many of you are part of our story. All of you who welcomed us into your communities, your hearts and challenged us to do more are so deeply imprinted on our souls-that we will never find the words of gratitude that express the depth of our appreciation.

In the coming months, we will write more about some of the people and places, experiences and adventures that shaped us and kept us committed to the work. But on the eve before November I cannot help but be filled with gratitude. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

And most of all, thank you to Kelly. Who has bravely stood before millions and shared her truth. Time still stops for me when she speaks. Giving of herself for others. Without her courage (especially when it was hard and when we wanted to quit) none of this would have ever been actualized.

So, the dream you hold in your heart…ignore the haters. Because your promise and potential will fuel your purpose.

And again from my heart to yours, thank you.

PS you ain’t see nothing yet ❤️

09/22/2021

This is my mantra. Not because I am good at it but because I am learning to be good at it and it centers me. Last week we spoke about self-care to some amazing folks. I received and email asking questions about some of what we shared and was asked to clarify something I said, which was, "No, is a complete sentence"

Here is my response and I hope it helps you: as it and quotes like these have helped me.

"I am glad you found such value in the session and we were deeply honored to be there. When I say, no, is a complete sentence, I mean grammatically as well as in service to ourselves, it is a complete sentence. No, thank you is softer but the intent is there as well.

There are limited things we can control. So, we should strive to do the ones that we want to do and say no to the rest. This is not easy. We are trained to be helpful and accommodating but in actuality the kindest and best thing we can do is to be honest. And sometimes, that committee or dinner or fill in the blank is not what is best for us and hence we are not filled up by it. Then what was a good intention becomes a form of . Does that make sense?"

Maybe this is a message you needed today, maybe not but I find great value in service and friends, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

Becca Tieder

05/17/2021

A leadership opportunity for a passionate student: https://www.itsonus.org/campus-organizing-programs/become-a-regional-advisor/

“My experience as a Regional Advisor has allowed me to connect with others who share a similar passion to put an end to s*xual violence, strengthen my leadership skills, work on my own healing, and build friendships that I know will last a lifetime. Being a part of this team has truly been one of ...

04/30/2021

As we prepare to close out another (s*xual assault awareness month), I can’t help but to be shook by the remarkable amount of r**e, death threats and hate speech female identified elected officials/ public servants receive. Women in the public eye receive the most horrific threats nearly everyday.

Our work is so far from over.

03/14/2021

Are you ready to create a meaningful shift in your community? Join us.

03/14/2021

A limited number of programs are available for Sexual Assault Awareness Month and in honor of this class (many born in 2003) at a discount we have never offered.

Why?

Because we need one another- now more than ever.

Email Becca at [email protected] to secure your spring program.