Have you ever spent an evening with fifteen other women that was filled with only positive energy? Where there was no gossip, no cattiness, no bu****it, no sneers from across the room, no whispering behind someone else’s back, etc? Until this project, which began in February 2013. Here is the backstory to why the project even came about. You’ve probably seen the movie “Mean Girls”, and I’m sure yo
u related to at least SOMEthing in it, whether you were the one bullied, the co-conspirator of the bully, or the bully yourself. And we realize that it is usually destructive behavior over what is generally incredibly silly things…jealousy that someone is prettier than us, weighs less than us, has a better job than us, has a better boyfriend than us; we weren’t invited to such and such party…the list goes on. And, yes, all of those things sound like a list made by a girl in junior high or high school, but, sadly, these conversations and this "bullying" happens well after those teen years. Bottom line: this trash-talking generally happens because of our own insecurities. We struggle with things deep inside of us, and we inadvertently take them out on others. So, that’s what got me thinking…
Maybe there needed to be a bigger conversation. Maybe we needed to face those insecurities. Maybe we needed to face them together. Maybe we could relate to each other and get a whole new perspective on women in general. And guess what? That’s what happened. That and so much more. I’m so grateful to all of these participants for being so raw and honest, and so willing to bare this to not only their friends and family, but strangers alike. They've used such words to describe it as: Scary. Intimidating. Exposing. Liberating. Empowering. Bonding. As you’ll see, the majority of our insecurities stem very deep. Even those that are insecurities about physical attributes, they stem emotionally. Not just physically. So many of them go back to our respective childhoods. Many of the participants have mentioned that doing this has made them also appreciate how much they need to pay attention to the messages that they are sending as parents, (myself included, wholeheartedly.) Hopefully, you will read and appreciate all of this as well and be able to relate in some respect, however small it may be. Here is how this project flows...
I have each participant send me the biggest insecurity that they obsess over, that they are also willing to share with the world. This often takes a lot of thought on their part – most of them give it a good month before really writing something up for me, because, as I’ve mentioned, it's scary. In addition, they each select five-to-ten family members and/or friends that they feel especially close to and send me their names and contact info. I then proceed to contact these individuals personally, requesting some information on what they personally love and appreciate about that particular participant. Some choose to list traits, some chose to write very emotional testimonials – all of them are so beautiful, and so appreciated, as you shall see. As far as the night itself, I have each participant read his/her own write-up about their insecurity aloud. This is rarely done without resulting in tears, not just their own tears, but also the tears of those others in the room who feel their pain. We do this one at a time – one participant would read theirs, and I would immediately take him/her over afterward to take their photo, holding their insecurity summed up in their own words. The photo is taken directly after the reading to capture the raw emotion that they were feeling from just sharing that with this group. Immediately following that, we sit back down with the group and I read to them the kind, loving, reassuring words of their friends…which often leads to more tears. But, happy ones this time. (I should also mention that I don’t share these participant’s insecurities with anyone else beforehand, not even the friends and family of whom I was requesting information.) It ends up feeling like we're hearing what would be our eulogies, since that seems to be the only time people feel free to share all of the things they love about a person. Very surreal…and very powerful. the project can also be found in these blogs:
Group 1 (Part 1): http://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/women-raw-honest-loved-part-1-2/ )
Group 1 (Part 2): http://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/02/12/women-raw-honest-loved-part-2/
Group 2 (Teen Version!): https://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/04/13/teen-version-women-raw-honest-loved/
Group 3: (55+ Version!): http://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/06/27/55-version-women-raw-honest-loved/
Group 4: http://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/07/30/group-4-women-raw-honest-loved/
Group 5: http://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/11/12/group-5-women-raw-honest-loved/
Group 6: http://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2014/01/29/group-6-women-raw-honest-loved/
Group 7 - MEN!!: http://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2014/03/13/group-7-men-nope-not-women-men-raw-honest-loved/
Group 8: http://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2014/04/09/group-8-women-raw-honest-loved/
testimonials from both participants and non-participants in the project:
http://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/02/17/honest-words-about-honest-women/
ALL THE REASON I NEED TO KEEP THIS PROJECT GOING IS RIGHT HERE: http://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/06/28/dont-judge-a-girl-by-her-cover/
A project video that will lead you to a bunch of other project videos: http://vimeo.com/69220438
I have plans to keep this project going in the Seattle/Tacoma area...I welcome and encourage people continuing the project in their own area as well!!! blog: http://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/
photo page: https://www.facebook.com/alanatphotography
