02/14/2024
5 years ago on this very day, my worst fears were confirmed from the day before. It was suppose to be a day of celebrating "love" for my 3 valentines and instead we spent it separated from one at home, and one in surgery. I was in a complete daze, I mean out of this world feeling that I can't even describe. How can this be happening to our 2 year old daughter, much less on Valentines Day.
Fast forward to the next Valentines day and we were celebrating her being off treatment and cancer free and getting back into the groove of life again. We took doughnuts to the staff and patients at Brenner's to celebrate our love for all those that helped us through such a horrible year and spread some joy to those struggling. We then spent the afternoon with our girls at the trampoline park, their choice of what they wanted to do.
From then on, each Valentine's Day makes me want to vomit and forget that it ever or will ever again exist again. I vowed that I would hate Valentines Day for the rest of my life and it would not be something we celebrated, just because it ripped our heart out in 2019 and can never be replaced.
Over the years since losing Cora in 2021, I've slowly come around to accepting Valentines Day again. For one, I have two Valentine's still left here on earth that mean the world to me and love me dearly. And two, I can't forget the love that Cora showed me and the love that others showed our family because of her. God has given us so many opportunities since Cora left us. He's given us the ability to spread love, joy, and hope to others in the pediatric cancer community and I'm forever grateful. Because of his love, I will be able to spend eternity with my angel again. A day that I am looking forward to with no cancer, pain, or suffering. Just pure happiness.
So, to you my baby girl, my Lovebug, my angel.....I'm getting better with Valentines Day. You know you can send me one of your hearts today, that you've sent me many other times. Another day closer to you my Lovebug.........
To my oldest best girl and my hubs.....I love you both so much. You both make all my days brighter and always know how to show me so much love.