05/27/2026
Dear Younger Me,
I know what I saw when I looked in the mirror back then.
I didn’t see hope.
I didn’t see strength.
I didn’t see the woman God created me to be.
I saw addiction.
I saw broken promises.
Damaged relationships.
Guilt.
Shame.
The exhaustion of trying to survive another day while carrying the weight of everything I had lost.
I convinced myself that maybe this was who I was now.
Maybe I was too far gone.
Maybe I had made too many mistakes.
Maybe I would never become the mother my children deserved.
But today, I know something I couldn’t see then:
I was wrong.
Not because life suddenly became easy.
Not because recovery came without pain.
But because God was still writing my story.
I remember the nights I cried when nobody was looking.
I remember the guilt that sat heavy on my chest every time I thought about my children.
I remember how badly I wanted to be present, but addiction kept stealing pieces of me.
I loved my children with everything I had.
Even then.
But addiction made it hard for them to experience the version of me that was buried underneath the chaos.
And that broke my heart.
I spent years believing they deserved a better mom.
What I didn’t know was that one day, I would become her.
Today, I am over two years sober.
Two years.
Not two years of perfection.
Not two years without struggles.
But two years of choosing recovery.
Two years of healing.
Two years of showing up.
And the greatest gift of all isn’t the sobriety itself.
It’s what sobriety gave back to me.
My life.
My peace.
My purpose.
And most importantly…
My children.
Today, I am present.
I am there for the conversations.
The school events.
The laughter.
The tears.
The milestones.
The ordinary moments that addiction once robbed from me.
Today, my children don’t have to wonder which version of Mom they’re going to get.
They get me.
The real me.
The sober me.
The loving me.
The woman who fought through hell because she refused to let addiction write the ending of her story.
The woman who now gets to tuck her children into bed, make memories, keep promises, and be fully present for the life she once thought she had destroyed.
The goal I desperately wished for…
The one I cried about.
Prayed about.
Thought was impossible.
I reached it.
I became the mother my children needed.
Not because I’m perfect.
But because I’m present.
Because I’m healing.
Because I’m here.
There are still hard days.
There are still moments when the past hurts.
But those moments no longer define me.
Today, my story is one of redemption.
The shame that once nearly destroyed me has been replaced by gratitude.
The pain has become purpose.
And the life I thought was over became the foundation for something beautiful.
I have learned that recovery gave me something far greater than sobriety.
It gave me a second chance.
A second chance to love my children the way they deserve.
A second chance to become the strong woman I was always capable of being.
A second chance to build a life rooted in faith, purpose, honesty, and love.
Today, when I look in the mirror, I no longer see the woman addiction tried to convince me I was.
I see a survivor.
I see a mother.
I see a woman of faith.
I see strength.
I see resilience.
I see someone who refused to quit.
Most importantly, I see living proof that recovery is possible.
If I could sit beside the woman I used to be, I would tell her this:
Don’t give up.
Keep fighting.
Keep believing.
One day, everything you think addiction stole forever can be rebuilt.
One day, you’ll look around and see your children laughing, growing, loving you, and trusting you.
One day, you’ll realize that every battle was worth it.
Because recovery didn’t just save my life.
It gave me the opportunity to become the mother I always wanted to be.
And for that, I will forever be grateful.
With love,
Brittani
Over 2 Years Sober
Living Proof That Recovery Is Possible
Brittani Halladay
Co-Founder/Director
Michigan Addiction Recovery Alliance
