04/02/2026
Squires Volunteer Fire Department Official Update
Due to the overwhelming success of our recent online auction, the department has decided to move forward with an ambitious expansion into a tactical region we are less familiar with: Air Support.
While we looked into helicopters and tankers, we’ve decided to go a more cost-effective route. We recently acquired a large flock of military surplus pigeons through a federal equipment grant. These "Aero-Avian" units are currently being trained for precision water-drop operations.
Specifications:
Payload: 1.5 ounces of water per bird.
Navigation: Integrated homing beacons (they always return to the station for refills).
Cost: Very low (mostly birdseed and the occasional windshield cleaning).
Training for our new "Squires Air One" squadron begins this week. If you see a synchronized flock hovering over a brush fire, please do not be alarmed. It’s just the future of rural fire protection.