PALgroup Robertson County

08/14/2024

PALgroup Springfield has officially disbanded. Thank you for being part of the journey. While I’m giving up PALgroup, I’m not giving up on you. Need to talk? Private message me.

03/18/2024

Boundaries updates. So true with PAL but watch out on threats. They may just see how far you will really go.

03/04/2024

I was at an event this weekend where I was just a guest and knew no one but my date. While he was off mingling I found a quiet corner and was reading the latest newsletter from PALgroup. An older gentleman, who probably thought I was someone else, asked what was so interesting on my phone. I seized the opportunity and shared I was preparing for our upcoming pal group which led to conversation on what is PAL and why was I involved. Now this just happens to be a sad season for me as it’s the time between our sons birthday and date of death. I had visited my sons grave earlier that day and was still a little emotional. This gentleman begins to share of how his nephew had struggled with substance abuse and was one reason he and wife had never had children. He also began to share about all the “bad families” he knew that had caused their children to be “drunks and dope heads.”
Yikes!
Fortunately I didn’t dissolve into a sobbing puddle. But I did use opportunity to educate this person that we at PALgroup don’t believe in placing blame , that we parents rarely cause our loved ones substance abuse and that it is not something that we as loved ones can control or cure.
He didn’t get the point, gave the obligatory condolences for our loss and left me to gather my emotions and put on a smile.
So just a reminder my precious parents ,who never asked to be on the roller coaster called substance abuse, that you: are not alone, you will face ignorance and PALgroup doesn’t judge!!!
So bring your broken hearts; your derailed dreams and your sharing hearts to Springfield PALgroup on Tuesdays at 6:30 so that we may educate and encourage one another. We/you are not alone!
Message me if want more info.

03/03/2024

Always love boundaries.

The parents of a twenty-five-year-old man came to see me (Dr. Townsend) with a common request: they wanted me to

02/20/2024

You might be enabling if…
At PALgroup we learn all sorts of ways that our “helping” is contributing to substance abuse.
Learn more at PALgroup.org. Local chapter in Springfield Tn. Meets Tuesday at 6:30 pm Springfield Baptist church. Use willow street entrance.

You are not Parents with an adult child dealing with substance use disorder involving either drugs or alcohol find hope and support through Parents of Addicted Loved Ones (PAL). Meetings are available all over the country, and lives are being changed every day. It’s not an easy journey, but you do...

02/14/2024

Today my Valentine Love shout out is to M&M Electrical for restoring power to us this morning by 8 am no less . One leg of our main electrical circuit decided yesterday to quit working. Typical because Tuesday’s is the day I’ve already dubbed Terrible Tuesdays ( because if anything bad is going to happen it seems to most frequently happen on Tuesdays). Also special thanks to Springfield electric -they were great and prompt even in after hours!! And love to John for taking the lead in getting this situation resolved.
So thank you electricians!!!! It’s a great profession and we need more In the field. Hint young people!! And welcome Wednesday! It’s going to be a great day-especially at 9:30 at the Chamber of Commerce ribbon cutting where PALgroup gets recognized!!!

02/13/2024

I LOVE BOUNDARIES -HERE'S THE LATEST! Great ideas for dealing with our other loved ones as well.
Love Only Exists Where There Is Freedom
February 5, 2024

Boundaries in Marriage
"His irresponsibility is making my life miserable," Jen began. She then went on to tell me (Dr. Townsend) a terrible story of how her husband had successfully avoided adulthood for many years at her expense. She had suffered greatly at the hands of his behavior, both financially and sexually.

As I listened, though, I could see that her deep sense of hopelessness kept her in prison. I could see countless ways she could be free from her husband's patterns of behavior. She could make numerous choices to help both herself and the relationship. But the sad thing was that she could not see the same choices that were so clear to me.

"Why don't you stop paying for his mistakes and bailing him out? Why do you keep rescuing him from the messes he gets himself into?" I asked.

"What are you talking about?" Jen asked, alternating between muffled sobs and a scornful expression. "There's nothing I can do. This is the way he is, and I just have to live with it."

I could not tell if she was sad about what she perceived as a hopeless case or angry with me for suggesting she had choices. As we talked further, I discovered an underlying problem that kept Jen from making such choices.

She did not experience herself as a free agent. It never occurred to her that she had the freedom to respond, to make choices, to limit the ways his behavior affected her. She felt that she was a victim of whatever he did or did not do.

God designed the entire creation for freedom. We were not meant to be enslaved by each other; we were meant to love each other freely. God designed us to have freedom of choice as we responded to life, to other people, to God, and to ourselves. But when we turned from God, we lost our freedom. We became enslaved to sin, to self-centeredness, to other people, to guilt, and to a whole host of other dynamics. She did not experience herself as a free agent. It never occurred to her that she had the freedom to respond, to make choices, to limit the ways his behavior affected her.

Boundaries help us to realize our freedom once again. Listen to the way that Paul tells the Galatians to set boundaries against any type of control and become free: "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery" (see Galatians 5:1). Jen felt herself enslaved by her husband's patterns of behavior and did not see the choices available to her. But God tells us to not be subject to any kind of enslaving control at all.

For love to work, each spouse has to realize his or her freedom. And boundaries help define the freedom we have and the freedom we do not have. Marriage is not slavery. It is based on a love relationship deeply rooted in freedom. Each partner is free from the other and therefore free to love the other. Where there is control, or perception of control, there is not love. Love only exists where there is freedom.

For more helpful advice to enhance your marriage, read the award-winning book, Boundaries in Marriage, by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

➡️ Get The 10 Laws of Boundaries eBook when you subscribe to the Boundaries Weekly email newsletter. Learn More

02/05/2024

PALgroup sponsors free narcan training Tuesday Feb 6 @ 6:30. Springfield Baptist church. Must rsvp. Email. [email protected]

01/31/2024

Shout out to Springfield Rotary Club for allowing me to come share about PALgroup. Appreciate the lunch and attention.
Next PALgroup Robertson is Tuesday Feb 6 at 6:30. We are having Narcan training. Free and all are welcomed. Just need to let me know if coming by Monday noon so that I can give trainer the headcount.
Remember. There is hope and you aren’t alone on this journey.