08/26/2026
Over the past year, I have experienced more church-related hurt than I ever imagined possible.
I have witnessed individuals publicly proclaim one message while privately living in contradiction to it. I have seen dishonesty, infidelity, addiction, alcohol abuse, jealousy, gossip, division, and people undermining one another behind closed doors—while still being praised, protected, followed, and celebrated because of their relationships, positions, or platforms.
I have watched so-called best friends speak harshly about one another in private, then smile, embrace, pray, worship, and present the appearance that everything is well when they are together.
I have seen people tell one person one thing and then communicate something entirely different to someone else.
I have watched people blindly follow and trust individuals who, based on what I personally witnessed while I was close enough to observe the inner workings, appeared more concerned with platform, recognition, attention, and public visibility than with genuinely reflecting the character of Christ.
But perhaps one of the deepest wounds came from realizing that some of the very people I loved, trusted, supported, and would have done anything for were working against me behind my back.
These were people I gave money to when they needed it. People I loaned my car to. People I helped when I didn't have much myself. There were times I would have literally given my last dime because I genuinely loved them and believed we were doing life and ministry together.
To later realize there were conversations, agendas, and things happening behind my back was devastating.
It taught me a painful lesson: you can have a genuine heart toward someone and still discover that they did not have the same heart toward you.
That has been one of the most difficult aspects of church hurt for me.
For a time, I was close enough to the inner circle to see and hear things firsthand. Eventually, I had to make a decision:
Stay connected for the sake of acceptance, or step away because what I was witnessing did not reflect the character of Christ.
I chose to step away.
Not because I believe I am better than anyone else.
Not because I am perfect.
I am far from perfect—and that is precisely why I need Jesus every day.
Straight Out Of Darkness Ministry was never created for perfect people. We believe in grace, restoration, repentance, recovery, forgiveness, accountability, and second chances.
However, grace should never be used as an excuse for hypocrisy.
There is a difference between struggling and refusing accountability.
There is a difference between falling and intentionally choosing to live a double life.
There is a difference between ministry being centered on Jesus and ministry becoming centered on platform, popularity, attention, titles, followers, and recognition.
Sometimes, choosing peace means walking away from tables where you were once welcomed.
Sometimes, discernment means recognizing that being included does not necessarily mean you belong.
Sometimes, following Jesus means being willing to stand outside the popular circle rather than compromise what you know is right simply to remain accepted within it.
Jesus never called us to build our own kingdoms.
He called us to build His.
“You will know them by their fruits.” — Matthew 7:16
Church should be a place where broken people can encounter Jesus—not another environment where they are wounded by gossip, jealousy, favoritism, manipulation, competition, private conversations, or hidden agendas.
I refuse to allow church hurt to become God hurt.
People may disappoint us.
Leaders may fail us.
Friends may betray us.
Ministries may make mistakes.
But Jesus is still Jesus.
My faith is not built on church people.
My faith is built on Christ.
And despite what I've experienced, I refuse to let betrayal change the kind of heart God has given me. I will still help people. I will still love people. I will still believe in restoration. But I have learned that loving people does not require giving everyone unlimited access to me. Forgiveness does not eliminate wisdom, and grace does not mean ignoring discernment.
Straight Out Of Darkness Ministry will continue striving to be a place where people can come as they are; where brokenness does not need to be hidden; where recovery is celebrated; where truth is spoken in love; where accountability matters; where repentance is genuine; and where restoration is possible.
We do not want merely to appear Christian on Sundays or on social media.
We want our lives to reflect Christ when no one is watching.
Less performance.
Less gossip.
Less jealousy.
Less competition.
Less pursuit of platforms.
Less pretending.
More truth.
More accountability.
More grace.
More genuine love.
More discernment.
More Jesus.
Michelle Hurst ❤️
