Walk Across America For Groats Disease

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Walk Across America For Groats Disease

Groats Disease is a form of schizophrenia characterized by delusions, regressive behavior, silliness and unruliness.

We "Walk Across America" every year to raise money to eradicate the disease. It typically takes eight months to reach our destination. Groats Disease aka Groats Syndrome is a destructive disease that affects millions of children and adults each decade. We are on a mission (since 1968) to eradicate Groats and assist the many victims worldwide.

12/19/2025

Hello everyone! Within a week, we will reach our final destination of Hermosa Beach, California.

Here are several of our 2026 Walk highlights:

* We have raised more than $55 million for Groats Disease research and have accumulated an additional $125 million in unsecured pledges. The states donating the most money are New Jersey, Texas, Ohio, and California.

* Typically, we take an extended stop in Las Vegas for about 5-7 days. This year, the stay was 3 months! Although the food and entertainment was great, sadly, we lost more than $4 million of raised funds. However, we did donate $125,000 to three local Groats Disease victims, so we feel quite satisfied.

* The City of Denver presented us with their "Key To The City" last month. Because of the thin air, Groats sufferers experience heavy wheezing and whining, and thus require extra funding. The City of Denver has always been a generous supporter.

Finally...Of course, we continue to mourn the death of Rob and Michele Reiner. Rob appeared as a version of himself in the Season 2 episode titled "The Thong" (2001), where he was a dedicated advocate for the "Groat's Syndrome" foundation.

In the episode, Rob Reiner tries to get Larry David, to host a charity event for the disease.

05/21/2025

It's been two months since the 2025 Walk started and we have reached Hays, Kansas.

We were presented a $250,000 pledge from the Hays Chamber Of Commerce today, and treated to some of the best steak we have ever eaten! Ranchers tend to have a high propensity for Groats Disease, and they always treat us well, especially after we deliver our free counseling services and arrange for their beef to be purchased by PETA.

But Shhhh! Don't tell PETA that's it's beef. For more than a decade, we have been telling them that it's special harvested mushrooms with a secret sauce!

Our entertainment for the evening was provided by Johnny Gleason, who has won the "Hoarder Of The Year" Award for eight consecutive years. He has the world's largest knapsack collection in his basement.

Pictured below is part of the tour that he provided to us. He insists that he is not a hoarder, but one of the primary side effects of over-prescribing Groats Disease medications is ironically - Excessive knapsack hoarding.

03/21/2025

Walk Across America For Groats Disease 2025 Has Begun!

From North Park in Springboro, Ohio, more than 4,000 supporters gave us a fantastic sendoff! All major networks (ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, and CNN) covered the event and conducted many interviews.

Our goal (for 15 years) is to raise as much money and awareness as possible, so we can some day eradicate Groats Disease and cure the dozens of persons worldwide that are sadly afflicted with the ailment.

Raising $300 million in 2025 is certainly a challenge, but we're off to a great start. In addition to the $10 million of early bird donations we have received, PETA has finally endorsed us and pledged $4 million last week.

Our feud with PETA finally ended, when we agreed to refer to them as "PETA," instead of "Pita Bread." We also agreed to end our annual "Amateur Veterinarian Week," which always resulted in thousands of consumer complaints.

We always begin our Walk in Springboro, and end the Walk in Hermosa Beach approximately eight months later. Our annual stop in Las Vegas typically results in hundreds of thousands of dollars in gambling losses, but we're confident we will trim a few hundred dollars from that amount this year.

Thank you to the millions of supporters worldwide that fund our Walk. And yes...WE still love wax lips and beef jerky, so keep sending it our way!

03/07/2025

Greetings everyone! In 15 days, Walk Across America 2025 will begin from our usual spot - Springboro, Ohio! North Park will be the sendoff spot, and we have already received commitments from all major networks and most cable outlets that they will be there.

Our 2025 goal is to raise $300 million for Groats Disease Research. And we believe we can do it. DOGE recently announced that past contributions to us are not under review, and our activities are not being monitored.

As always, we hope to limit gambling losses when we reach Las Vegas, and this year, we hired a sports bookmaking expert that should help.

Our private jet will be better utilized this year, and the savings should be substantial.

More updates coming!

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=10155155432752904

12/26/2024

WE HAVE ARRIVED!!!

Walk Across America has completed the 2024 Walk...2,219 miles!

We made friends, enemies, and raised more than $21 million! Although our operating expenses and gambling losses totaled more than $18 million, we had a great time visiting with thousands of Groats Disease victims across the US.

Pending litigation may erase some of the profits, but we're confident that we can evade the largest potential liability situations.

We also are proud to announce that we have completed our construction of the first-ever "Starbucks For Groats Disease Victims" location here on Hermosa Beach. Groats Disease victims are served 24/7 free of charge. Dependents must pay a $1 copay for all food items.

Each day we temporarily close for high tide.

It started in Springboro, Ohio on March 21 and we are tired, but grateful for our experiences, memories, and lives that we have touched.

12/06/2024

We're Close To The End Of The 2024 Walk!

We have reached Riverside (California) and are about 65 miles from our final destination of Hermosa Beach.

And what a Walk it has been. With pledges of more than $50 million, we have set an all-time record. Our losses this year in Las Vegas were under $500,000 and only 4% of our staff of 128 dropped out.

We're looking forward to attending the Riverside Holiday Movie Festival tomorrow. Apparently, Dustin Hoffman had made a Christmas Movie!

08/22/2024

We're in Mesquite, Nevada...About 80 miles from Las Vegas!

And Yes...We read the NY Times article last week detailing the millions of dollars we lost gambling in Vegas over the last 15 years.

We're going to hit it big this year though. I feel it! If not...We'll need to cut down on benefits to Groats Disease sufferers. WE would feel bad about it, but they're used it, so that's a positive.

Mesquite is an interesting town. It's in the Mohave Desert, so it is very hot here with not much to do. However, the annual Mesquite Market is this week and we signed up to receive the new Covid variant. We thought it was the vaccine, but we misread the sign.

Many of us do feel a bit weak and have headaches. Oh well.

08/03/2024

We're In Utah! Walking through Colorado was a challenge, but we made it!

And...Along the way, the City of Denver donated $500,000 to our new Groats Rehab facility in the basement of Empower Field, where the Broncos play.

We are spending the weekend in Crescent Junction, which is located near the intersection of I-70 and SR 191. Just Northeast of Crescent Junction, the boulders at the base of the Book Cliffs hold an impressive amount of rock art.

We aren't allowed to visit the rock art because of the damage to the area several Groats sufferers caused several years ago. They attempted to carve a backgammon board into a large rock formation, and well...It did not go well.

One neat attraction for our Walkers with children is the Kids Olympic training facility a few miles south of us (see photo below).

Parents drop their kids off at the facility in the morning, and pick them up three days later. Although unsupervised, many studies have shown that our future Olympians may excel with less training, and not more training.

Thus, other than automated meals and evening story-telling, these youngsters are on their own!

06/19/2024

Hello Denver!

It's beautiful today (about 67 degrees) in the Mile High City! We were greeted last night by the City staff and presented with a key to the city, a $250,000 pledge to Groats Disease research, and a pair of socks worn by John Elway in a game vs. the Raiders!

We visited with one of the world's oldest living Groats Disease survivors (Lloyd B Freedman) who turned 98 last week. He claims he has lived this long buy eating just one food - carrots!

Of course, Lloyd has suffered from typical Groats symptoms for 50 years - delusions, silliness and multiple personalities. He also believes he is a rabbit, and insists on sleeping under his deck foraging, and digging tunnels.

Finally, we were invited to Denver's annual "Amateur Skydiving Day," which features first-time jumpers leaping from a plane. Fortunately, most participants were a parachute. The gentleman pictured below felt one was not needed.

We hope to interview him once he is found.

05/13/2024

UPDATE:

Greetings from Hays, Kansas where we have spent the weekend.

It's been a great Walk so far. Just as we have in prior years, we are walking along I-70W, with, of course, our spotters and security detail keeping us safe.

We have encountered no wild animals, horrible weather, or Gaza protestors. We had a brief scare when someone dressed in green carrying a butcher's knife quickly approached us. But the knife was actually a turkey leg he had purchased from a nearby festival.

Donations and pledges have steadily been coming. This weekend, Future Unicorns Of Kansas (F*K) presented us with a check for $375,000! Of course, we think their notion of becoming a unicorn is quite silly, but we didn't tell them.

Finally, tonight's entertainment was provided by the Fort Hayes State University Survivor Club, who sponsored a raw meat-eating contest.

The winner (pictured below) consumed a 32 ounce piece of raw ground chuck in four minutes! We were impressed!

04/14/2024

Greetings everyone!

We are staying the weekend in St. Louis! We have been averaging about 30 miles per day although we may kick it up a notch as the weather warms up.

Firstly, a big thank you to the City of St. Louis for their generous $200,000 donation. St. Louis, of course, features two Groats Disease victims on their city planning committee, so local residents are quite supportive.

For today's entertainment, we were invited to the filming of "The Bachelor For Dogs," which will be aired this summer.

Who will get the rose? We won't tell you but we were rooting for the mini golden doodle! Sadly, she licked too much and was eliminated.

Monday, we'll continue our Walk west.

03/30/2024

Hello everyone! We are eight days into our walk and our settling in for the night.

We're in Cloverdale, Indiana, which is a small town West of Indianapolis.

Tonight, we were the guest of honor at the annual "Post-it Beauty Contest," which attracts contestants from all over the US. The winner (pictured below) designed her own dress from thousands of Post-it notes she "borrowed" from her employer.

Earlier in the day, the town of Cloverdale donated $150,000 to Groats Disease research, for which we are very appreciative.

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SR 73
Springboro, OH
45066

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https://www.facebook.com/pages/Walk-Across-America-For-Groats-Disease/306150867903

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